This could have been written about me as a child- but I am writing about my Peas, and I need help.
Peas has really big intense feelings, no matter what they are they are intense. Happy is euphoric, sad is the depths of despair.
This is all well and good until we get to anger and frustration- when it manifests as rage.
The angry takes over and she gets stuck in a rage circle. It spirals and spirals out of control with no way to slow down the inertia or change the direction. It just has to burn itself out. Which can take a long time (like over an hour long time).
While the tantrums are frustrating and hard to deal with the bigger issue is when she lashes out at her siblings or me. She throws things, breaks things, hits siblings and me. This does not happen anywhere but at home, anywhere else I hear what an angel she is; and really she can be, most of the time she is.
Peas is getting bigger and is now big enough to do some actual damage to things or people, so it is imperative we find a solution.
One issue specifically that we struggle with is leaving for school. If she can't find her shoes (there is a black hole of shoes in our house, I swear- its the only way we could lose so many shoes.) or the particular shoes that she wants to wear, It becomes a Chernobyl level meltdown. There can be kicking, hitting, biting, throwing, any number of things, and talking to her just makes it worse. It just has to burn itself out.
To protect the other kids, and herself, we put her in her room. If I am sick or recovering from a surgery, I cannot fight with her to get her into her room, because she strong. And I am at a loss.
Once she has calmed down she feels horrible and is so sorry, embarrassed, and totally apologetic.
I just don't know how to get her to the calm stage faster, with less out of control behavior, and to not act out.
I can completely empathize because I sometimes my feelings are overwhelming too, but I can't reason with her. It doesn't work.
Do you have any ideas? What can I do to help the rage spiral. I hate that is such a struggle for her.