Thursday, May 28, 2009

Those who know me know I have a deep love and affection for books. It has only gotten worse with age.

My bookshelves were getting a little overloaded and were starting to moan in protest to the absurd weight of the books I have collected over the years.

Until my Kindle arrived. I love my Kindle. I freely admit that I did not anticipate my adoration for an implement of technology when in most things I am so decidedly anti tech. However this device captivated me. and I am hooked. I love that I can cart several hundred books around with me where ever I go and not break my back or feel like a yak. I love that I can shop whenever I have finished my current read- no need to brave the book store with three kids, trek to the library (even though I am there more than I would care to admit), or wait for the UPS truck to arrive with my amazon purchases. I can search select, buy, and download with the press of a few buttons, and it recommends new books and authors to me based on my past reading. One of the other really neat features is that I can change the font size so if I want to I can read without my glasses...imagine that!

So this tech-phobe is sold on a Kindle.

The point of this was actually to discuss how hard it was for me to clean out my bookshelf. I started that the other day. It is awful. I get emotionally attached to books like some people get attached to pictures or old high school sweaters. I get attached to books. I cannot get rid of them. They are too wonderful. So I selected the books that I have not read or re-read in a year or more and put them in a rubbermaid tote. Now I have to find the courage to put it under the house. I need to realize that the books are there still... that I do not need to have them out. That I still remember the characters, the themes, and the plot. No matter what I will always remember reading my first copy of "A Little Princess" in bed with my mother. Whether the book is there or not. My memory of that will be there.

I have not shared many pictures

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

So I thought I'd fix that

My Big Girl is Five!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Yesterday Princess turned five. Five. As in old enough to start kindergarten. As in half way to ten.

She is growing up so fast. I can hardly believe it.

She got to choose a lot of things about her day. From where we went-what we ate etc...

Of course the best part in her world was the cake and ice cream.

The downside is no one from my in law's side called to wish her a happy birthday. She noticed it and questioned it. My family called. Granted she did not talk to all- some them she was outside playing for and far too muddy to chat..but messages were delivered and she glowed.

But my in laws. I do not know what to do or say about them. All of her life she has been an option for them- in the NICU they did not visit- after her operation last summer they did not call- now on her birthday they did not call. It was not just B's parents though--- no one from his side called. Not a soul.

This made me really sad. She deserves to be treated better. She deserves to be surrounded by people who love and cherish her. Not who 'forget' her.

I have been remiss

Friday, May 22, 2009

in keeping up here. I have been very busy outside enjoying the weather with the kids. My mom came and stayed for a few days for a truly momentous occasion: Princess graduated preschool. It was a huge occasion. One that she had been planning in her head for days. When the dress that she had worn the previous day needed to get washed before she wore it she was devastated and she said though tears 'this is not how I planned it!!!' It all worked out though. We got the dress washed in time for her ceremony.

That was a very busy day. We went to the arboretum to play with tadpoles and get slightly roasted. Then to lunch then to home to change then off to her graduation. She signed and sang and beamed and was thrilled. Then she crossed the bridge into kindergarten and received her diploma and memory book (do I need to frame this diploma like a college one?).

They had a party to celebrate and pictures were taken of friends...playdates planned hugs given and that was it. I am the mother of a graduate.

Again Childrens Books??

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The kids and I made our trek to the library and have recently ventured into the realm of longer more involved stories for Princess. So far we have read: The Secret Garden, A Little Princess, and we have started Little House in the Big Woods. I decided to brave it and check out another book that I had seen pictured in the book orders from her school... Junie B. Jones. I thought the story line sounded interesting and the main character precocious. However when I began to read aloud I noticed myself having to censor half of the book.

The main character who is a five year old girl called people 'stupid', made fists at people, informed people that she hated them, thought that she could beat them up, etc.... Seriously for a five year old? My five year old does not say that and I would be less than thrilled if she did- it is something that would require learning and re-learning a better way to express herself. So while the story may be cute and the character precocious and fun... I think Ms. Junie B. is a little too much for out house. Back to Little House we go.

New moms

Monday, May 18, 2009

I read a message board that has a section devoted to moms and their children. It is a place to vent, ask questions, try ideas, and in general get advice about some of the brain teasers that kids can throw at you.

Sometimes I am generally stumped by some of the questions. I feel for them when the vent. I cheer for them and their children...but sometimes I have to laugh a little. Moms can make some of the most mundane tasks into huge issues requiring extensive debate and research. Which makes me giggle a little and at times get frustrated. Why is this? Why the debate over the best sippy for oral development? Really?

Get through it. Sometimes you may not be the 'text book' mom but who really cares? You do your best.

So much of parenting at least in my experience is trial and error..try it.. if it works fantastic if not plan b (but having a plan b is also an important lesson)

If there was something interesting to say

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I would say it now. But I have nothing really to say or to laugh about.

Today I had a break. The older two kids went to Grandmas today and Peas lived it up as an only child. She thought it was one to share toys with or share mama. Have me all to herself. We read we sang we snuggled we played we cleaned....and she ate it up. She will not be pleased when brother and sister return.

She did decide that she likes yogurt today. Up until now she had been kind of iffy on it. Today....the verdict was in and it was adoration. lots of it. it was like feeding a baby bird her mouth open her making noise to tell me she wanted more. Oh yes...she has started to say 'mine'. Not thrilled about that milestone.

Forgive me mamas

Thursday, May 14, 2009

But how on Earth do you have time to 'put yourselves together?'
I was noticing today dropping Princess off that most of the other mothers had cute outfits, accessories, hair done, make up, pretty shoes, and shockingly: their toe nails painted.

As I looked at my own ensemble of sweat pants, long sleeve tee shirt, and New Balance running shoes that I have defiantly run in and look it I began to wonder what I am missing. I brush my hair and teeth religiously and sometimes even manage to wash my face (if a full wash is not in the cards then at least a wipe off is) but I rarely wear make up and my toes are pretty much never painted.

Is there some secret mom ritual I have yet to master? With three kids four and under personal grooming often seems to take a backseat to other more pressing issues helping fix a car or reading yet another story....

My summer clothes have a lot of long flowy skirts because my legs my not always be presentable; I usually wear close toed shoes because my toes are not painted.

So what am I missing? Are these moms getting up at 5 am to 'get themselves together'? Or are they super women?

But forgive me mamas for looking longingly at your toes.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

You know those days when you are filled with a sense of peace? Nothing grand happened nothing awful....just a day... I love those days.

Today was one. We were so busy baking, cleaning, cooking, yard work, school, sun....then my neighbor came over for dinner and we had communal food. The kids gobbled it up and ran themselves ragged and were just being kids the way it is supposed to be..and for the first time in a long time I did not feel alone. It was really refreshing.

The days when your spirit and soul feel loved and feel comforted and hopeful give me a sense of peace and a sense of joy.

Why does my 15 month old

Monday, May 11, 2009

know how to climb the ladder to the top bunk?

The two older children have bunk beds. They were build by hand by my father... and they LOVE saying that 'my papa built them'. To them he might as well fly around with a superhero cape because he is perfect.

Now Peas has discovered that she is amazingly like her brother and sister and remarkably good at climbing. She can scale the 5 ft later to the top bunk with grace and ease befitting someone who can at least speak in somewhat intelligible speech. A healthy dose of fear would go a long way with them sometimes.

But now the problem I cannot let the older two play in their room without supervision because Peas wants to be with the big kids and anytime she is in that room she makes some magnetically pulled line straight for the ladder. And up she goes with an excited giggle and a huge grin.


Usually I try not to be divisive. But now I need to be.

In my house growing up we were White Sox fans. It is in my blood. It is like my blue eyes and freckles...a White Sox fan I will be. A few years ago I was thrilled when the won the world series. I got to crow loud about it to my Cubs fan husband at my teams prowess.

He is a Cubs fan..I forgave him and married him anyway and assumed that I would be able to rehabilitate him. Thankfully he never was as fervent of a Cubs fan as I was a Sox fan.. I could tolerate a lot of poor things in a mate but never fervant Cub love...seriously why???

This year I was thrilled to learn the White Sox by a 52% majority had the better fans. Yet again... Sox are better.

But now the cunundrum. I want to take the kids to a ball game but which to take them too? Honor their father and damn my soul and go to a Cubs game? Or be true to myself and go to a Sox game??

Mothers Day

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I wish I could be the kind of mom who wants nothing more than to spend the day with her children reveling in the joy that is motherhood... I am not.

My idea of a perfect Mother's Day is a day when I can have time alone. No I do not mean alone locked in the bathroom to keep people out or hidden under pile of blankets I mean genuinely alone. Where I can for a moment even just half a second not have to be mom.

My mothers day has so far been nothing like that.

I have reminded Princess that surfing down the stairs in a cardboard box onto the the stone floor is an unwise idea.

Informed Stinky that if he shoves his arm and had down the Husky's throat and she bites him it is not her fault and frankly I would not blame her.

Been pants-ed by Peas when I had the audacity not to hold her for a moment.

Been whined at demanded commanded and had a general mom day. Nothing fancy nothing special.

Which I suppose in and of itself is a lot to be thankful for.

Excuse Me??

Friday, May 8, 2009

Yesterday Princess had a field trip to the zoo. I had forgotten that I volunteered to chaperon it. . in light of feeling hardly human and not totally capable of supervising my children let alone half a dozen other preschoolers....I was very nervous about the prospect.

In the end it was find of course the two younger children behaved themselves in their stroller and Princess paraded herself like a prize pony.

Since it was a nice day Princess had requested to wear a summer dress and I let her and it was actually a cute outfit. The problem?? When we got home she said that she wanted to wear that dress because she wanted the boys to like her....I was shocked. 'Excuse me???!!!! I immediately said. Seriously she is not yet five and she wanted a boy to like her. When did this start?! did I miss a memo? What the heck? Would it be appropriate of me to start dressing her in potato sacks now? What am I supposed to do?

yesterday was the hardest day

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I have had in a long time. The kids ever so generously shared their germs with me and I just lain on the floor and moaned in between running upstairs to be sick.

Thankfully my children are resourceful and the childproof locks on the cabinets are no match of them so they were able to get into the snack cabinet and get out food that held them over. (very few times have I been thankful that my children can get into the cabinets without assistance..this was one of those times)

Again, thankfully the cavalry could come and save the day by feeding children and letting me slip into a sick coma.

We are very blessed that we have a cavalry to call when I cannot drag myself to take care of the kids.

Fun in the Sun Part duex

Sunday, May 3, 2009

So it was a nice day in chicago land today. about time...but yay!

so what did I do??? taught the kids the fun of the ice cream truck.

The ice cream truck used to go down my street a few times a week and there were few things that could stop a neighborhood kickball game like hearing the 'Entertainer' from a few streets over. So today I heard the ice cream truck..different song same tone. Uncle T and Uncle I were over and bore witness to the delight of the three kids getting their first taste of the ice cream from the truck.

It brought back a ton of memories. My dad sighing resigned to spending a few bucks on ice cream sometimes before dinner.

What else did we do? Taught Stinky how to hit a tee ball. In the process taught Stinky a few words that if he should ever play baseball will come in handy.

and I continued running Princess on her bike up and down the street teaching her to balance. A few lessons here.. running shoes are appropriate is a sports bra. ouch. Also a skirt is ill advised to wear.

A Party for a Princess

Saturday, May 2, 2009

So this is the first year that I am arranging a kid party for Princess. True to form she has requested a Princess Party. I can get on board with that. But I am clueless as to what to I feel like if I screw this up I will be making my child a social pariah in the kindergarten social scene and this is not the time I want to start ruining her life. So if anyone has any advice or ideas as to how to make this a fun party please please please tell me.

I would like to have a craft...a few games...goody bags... and cupcakes. Please Please Please help!

A Rockin' Friday Night

6 years ago that meant going out dancing, drinking, hanging with friends. Now an awesome Friday night was taking the kids to a local mom and pop restaurant and being shocked with the sheer amount of food that was served. Coming home wrestling medicine into Stinky, reading a story, then heading to bed with my clan by 8:45. Yep that was my awesome Friday night.

The thing is...I have done the go out with friends and dance etc since having kids but it is so not appealing. Renting a movie making stove top popcorn loaded with butter and salt hanging on the couch... that s a good night.

Happiest Moment in Your Life

Friday, May 1, 2009

I was reminded of this by watching a Sesame Street rerun in which a segment was a spoof of the "This is Your Life" in this episode Broccoli was featured. Anyway...I was thinking to happy times. Meeting B. Marrying him. Kids. House.... They are all great memories and I do not want to say they are in anyway less special. But the happiest moment is nothing momentous. Nothing grand.

It was waking up with my head on B's shoulder/collar bone in my 'spot' his arm draped over me. His smell...our smell.. waking up gently with the sun- free to snuggle back in and doze. I could tilt my head and kiss his jaw then tease him for the scruff. That is my happy time.

It is a time in which I was completely enveloped in love. How much I loved much he loved me. Feeling safe, feeling secure, feeling right.