My 3 Year Old made an Amazon order

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

I should have guessed that it would happen at some point.  Little Dude ordered a whole season of his favorite show "Paw Patrol" from Amazon.

Recently, I ordered a kindle fire relatively recently, and he loves it. Sadly, I have not figured out how to prevent purchases like this, and until this incident, I didn't even look into it.

The other night I started getting notifications on my phone that Amazon purchases had been made, little confirmation emails thanking me for my order. I thought nothing of it at first, thinking that maybe B had ordered a few shows--- then they kept coming, and I texted him to see what he had been buying... nothing.  LittleDude, was sitting right next to him and he was paying no attention to what was happening (typical).  While LittleDude was sitting there, innocent as can be and he bought a whole season of Paw Patrol and several other episodes. 

I suppose it was bound to happen sometime or another.  I am glad that it was less expensive than it could be.




Different Family Values

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

I have had some rough times in my life- many of them in fact.

As much as these times have sucked- my family has always helped me through them.  Yes, there were times of tough love- and a lot of times I was exceptionally angry with them- but when it has come down to it-- when I really desperately needed them they have helped.

When I had my first daughter and I had nothing for her- my mom came and helped, she taught me how to take care of my very very tiny baby.

She has come down at the drop of a hat when I have had a medical (kidney) emergency.  She has come down for kids grandparents days.  She is present in our lives. My sister and my aunts/ cousins are the same way.

So now B is hurt. His family has not really called to check on him frequently, not really offering help-- they have helped- but only when we have insisted.  Interestingly- it has not been B's immediate family offering to help- it has been his aunts and uncles.

His side of the family has always kind of confused me- they were even less helpful when I was sick, but I had assumed that it was because I was not their child and they felt that my family had the obligation.

I don't get it.

When my family or friends need help- or even if they need company- I'm there.  If I can give or do something I will- I know what it is like to feel alone, vulnerable, scared, and overwhelmed-- and it is pretty darn miserable. 

Life with a dictator

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Little dude looks sweet and cute right??




He is a dictator.

He declares what he wants and expects his wishes to be obeyed forthwith.  Heaven help whom ever does not understand what he is saying. Because he knows exactly what he is saying.

Inspector Gadget! NOW.  Paw Patrol! STAT!

There are a lot of sayings about terrible 2's but 3's are really hard.  They know what they want, they can communicate it somewhat, and they are more determined so you can't try and distract them with something really cool (well you can-- and they may even humor you- but they will be back for what they initially wanted).

Three year olds can run the house if you let them.  Sometimes that is all that keeps my sanity--- LittleDude wants Chuggers?! Fine! He gets Chuggers.. Learn picking battles is half of being a parent.  I frequently tell the bigger kids to just give him what he wants so he will stop holding the house hostage with screams.

Logically- I know that 3 years is a huge developmental time and he is beginning to see the world does not revolve around him.  He is learning that wants do not always equal needs. Which can be a hard pill for a three year old to swallow.

Horrible Nightmare

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Last week I had to go to the doctor for my hip.  While I was there, something horrific happened.

B was badly injured training at a live fire drill.

One minute we were texting each other about my hip, he said that he had to go drill, next thing I know my phone was going crazy as he had fallen trying to force open door as part of their training. When he fell he broke his leg.

Seeing the text that he was hurt but not knowing what was happening was terrifying. Not being able to help was frustrating.

As a mother, my job is to fix things. Make things better.  There is nothing that I can do to help him. Nothing I can do to make it better.  All I could do was go there and be there.

The break was bad enough and in a place that required surgery, I have had a lot of surgery, but waiting for someone to have surgery is something I have less experience with.  Sitting there, watching the screen with his case--- waiting for screen to advance to "surgery complete".

B's job has always scared me- I love and respect what he does, but it scares me.  Because he could so quickly be injured. Nothing is a guarantee.  Every time we talk we end it with "I love you, be safe".  I will not let him off the phone until he replies "I always am".

It has been hard for the kids- he is like superman.  He comes and fixes things and saves the day. His job is actually to save people.  He is not here a lot but when he is he is fantastic with them.  No one gets a better welcome than when daddy gets here.

Truth be told, I am a little jealous about how the kids are so interested in helping him. When I get hurt or have surgery nothing changes, the requests keep coming: "mama what's for dinner??" "where is my shirt?" B gets hurt--- totally different story- they are all over him helping.  Which, honestly is good.  He is dad- and a pretty darn awesome one.

Seeing the message that B was hurt was the most horrifying thing. My stomach dropped a million miles, I started sweating, I was sick to my stomach.  He annoys the crap out of me and irritates me beyond belief, but I love him.

When the doctor told me that he did need surgery, I got light headed--- and its not my leg! A doctor can tell me I need surgery and that is fine, I can deal, but not someone I care about, that makes it scary!

I do have new respect for what B had to endure in the waiting room for me- my surgeries were much longer and I have no idea how he managed.  Being the one unconscious is much much easier.

When he is better, I will have to find something new to say other than "I love you, be safe" because much like the kids-- he clearly doesn't listen.

I am thankful that he will heal.  I am thankful for my sister who saved the day. I am thankful.

Why I don't support gay rights

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

I support human rights.

Let's start with the basics: LGBTQ people are people- people being the operative word.  People= human- so they by virtue of being human deserve the same rights and protections as any other individuals.

I live in a very conservative town.  The majority of people in this town are people who are dedicated to Christianity.  To be emphatically clear, I take no issue with that, as long as their faith is their faith and it doesn't become something they require others to abide by.  Many Christians assert that the bible says that marriage is defined as a promise between one woman and one man (we can debate what the bible says about marriage in another post).  This is what leads us to one problem:

A significant percentage of people in the country, do not believe in the bible as a source of faith or a guide for moral living, as a significant portion of people do not garner their ethics or morals from the bible asking them to follow its teachings regarding marriage makes no sense.

One of the best things about the US is that the US is not a Christian nation, we are not a Jewish nation, or a Islamic Nation. Our country was founded on the ideals of separation of church and state, where citizens are guaranteed the freedom of and from religion, therefore for laws to be written and instituted based on a religious text is in direct contradiction to our nations founding principles.

Whether or not two adults are permitted to marry in no way lessens the value and the importance of any other marriage.

Back to point-

LGBTQ people do not need special privileges or rights; they need and deserve the same rights granted to any other citizen.

Let us not forget that not terribly long ago, it was illegal for people of different races to marry now we have moved past this (mostly) hopefully we can move past this being a problem as well.

No, I don't dance for anyone

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

No one aside from my pole sisters have ever seen me pole dance. 

Pole dancing has been thought of as a sexual act for so long, and it is. Really, pole rose to prominence in the US because of exotic dancers (aka strippers).  Without them, pole would not be. Pole can also be sensual, athletic, modern, or lyrical etc- it is an art, a sport, a career- it is whatever the individual doing it wants it to be.

For me though- pole helps me get in touch with my feelings, it helps me get in touch with my (please do not laugh too hard) sexy side.

So why do I want to get in touch with my sexy side if I am not going to let someone see? I do not believe that as a woman, as a pole dancer I need to be of sexual service to men unless I want to. There is no obligation inherent in being a pole dancer (for fitness or any other purpose).

A lot of people say something along the lines of "your husband must be happy" or "I bet he loves to watch you practice".

I do not pole for anyone but myself.

When I say something along the lines of "Well no one else has seen me dance" most often I am met with a response in the vein of "Then what's the point?" Which is to say: what is the point of being and feeling sexy if someone else is not going to benefit from it?

I want to feel connected to my femininity, my sexuality, my sensual side for me. Not for the benefit of someone else.  




and just because I can-- here are UNEDITED pictures from a shoot I had.

I think my phone works better when I say please

Thursday, February 26, 2015

It is a truth universally acknowledged that electronics and I do not get along.  It should be on my resume that I can effectively break any electronics.  If I can get it to work- it is a solid item.  More often than not I end up calling B and saying something to the effect of  "the thingy will not do the thingy that I want it to do"

I can hear his eyes rolling. Deep sighs "What did you do to it?" he asks.  "Nothing" I reply.

Grumble.

Somehow he gets it to work.  Interestingly enough, I can do the same darn thing and show him I am doing the same darn thing and it does not work- 3 seconds later- he does it- and magic happens.

My phone is another issue. I have an iphone and Siri dislikes me intensely- but she does seem to work better when I use my manners and say please and thank you.