So Skylar is 10 and sentimentality

Yesterday Princess turned 10.  How on earth did that happen? I swear last week We were taking her home from the hospital.  Se has grown from a 3 pound wonder to an amazing beautiful young lady on the cusp of becoming woman.

I am so proud to be her mother- and I sincerely hope I have not screwed up too much.

Every year since I was a little girl my mom made me a cake, yellow with chocolate frosting- per my request. My children also get to make their cake requests- and Princess requested the same.

During the day I made her cake and as I was doing it- I remembered my grandmother.  It is a family tradition to put tooth picks in the cake- whoever found one got a wish.  As I pressed the toothpicks into the cake, I remembered my excitement with my cousins and siblings over finding a toothpick.

Mostly I remembered the story-- the same story I have told to my kids about the cake.  I hope that they will carry on the tradition with their children- carrying on part of her legacy.

I miss my grandmother, I miss her everyday. But this makes me feel connected to her- a way part of her can live on.

A time to be sad--- and happy.

It was the end of year picnic for Pixie's preschool. It is also the last year this particular preschool will be open.

This preschool is heavenly.  It is a caring environment, the children were the focus, their blossoming into caring compassionate people with a love of investigation and learning.  The children were not forced or coerced into learning they were inspired to- by exploring.  Their hearts and souls were treasured.

This is the place were I met treasured friends who got me through some truly amazing people who I am honored to call my friends.  They have prayed for me, cared for me, and just been amazing.

The school had been open for more than 40 years serving many generations of children in the area with the same child centered loving environment- and this year they closed their doors.

At the end of year the picnic is a great time to say goodbye to friends and look forward to the next year.  There is no next year.  This is the last time my kids will run in the field.  Play on the climber. Go into the school.  Hug their teacher.

There will be no more children nurtured by the loving teachers. For a while it was just as fun as any end of year picnic, until it dawned on me.... this is it.  Its over.

I cried- took lots of photos. I will miss this place so very much.  It is irreplaceable.

Colored rice art

Last week the little kids and I made colored rice. We watched it drying for days. Being reminded daily that we have rice to use. 

After several days of drying out the rice was ready to use. 

So today we used it.  It started out well enough but escalated quickly to glue hand- prints.  It was fun while it lasted.

Regardless, it was worth it- and we'll do it agin

You don't have to like everyone, but you have to be nice.

Or do you?

There seem to be a few different schools of thought on this.  On person in particular comes to mind.  Given the fact that s/he is in his/her mid to late twenties and will be stuck interacting for the foreseeable future- I would expect politeness.  To be honest, I am not this persons biggest fan either but I refuse to be anything less than nice.

To be honest, this person has hurt me a lot.  I am not saying I am blameless.  It has been more than 10 years since I acted like an idiot though- and I have apologized and totally changed my behavior. I don't even feel like I can tell anyone who this person is without causing more drama than may be worth it. I just wish someone would see how this person acts and address it- without me having to be involved (yes-  I know this is totally ridiculous.)

So what do you do when some people just refuse to be have like adults? Short of sinking to their level What is the best option? I could 'get even' but I don't want to.  Whats the point? Then we have 2 people acting like idiots.

As it stands I am very hesitant to allow my children or myself around this individual, but short of directly saying "your acting like a nutcase I don't want to be around you, and I don't want you around my kids?" what is there too do?





There needs to be a flow chart for this.

Bringing Summer Back

It was nearly 90 degrees here last week for a day and I decided to live it up with the kids.

We went to two playgrounds and then to the Arboretum- which is one of our favorite places one that we have not been to in a while but once there it was like revisiting happier times with my like minded mama friends from whom we have drifted away or who have moved away.

We must give off a pheromone of crunchy family as we immediately started chatting with a mom dabbling in crunchy life.

It was almost like before I got sick.  Before I started living live around doctor visits and pain, and I loved it.  So did the kids.

Honestly, I hurt. My lack of kidney hurt. My incisions hurt. But it was worth it.

It was a great way to start the summer.  I even got my first sunburn of the season. 

Don't tell me to calm down

I have anxiety.  At times it can feel crippling.  Having someone tell me to calm down is like pouring gasoline on a fire: it does no good- and actually makes it worse. If  'calming down' was that easy don't you think I'd do it?? Would you tell someone having a heart attack to just stop? No?  (I certainly hope not, at least.) Then don't tell me to calm down.

Its insulting to be told that- as if I had some choice in the matter.  Anxiety is not something that I can schedule.  It just is.

Another thing not to do-- for the love of all that is holy- do not try and surprise or scar me.  I may surprise you by hitting you.

How old do you think I am, exactly??

I was on the younger side when I started having kids.  Princess, my first, will be 10 in a few weeks- and I am 32.  22 years old, these days is really young to start a family- yet my mother at that age already had two kids, and that was normal.

Most of the time the kids do not ask silly questions like "did you have electricity when you were a kid?" generally, they assume that things were the same then as they are now.

The other day though, I was asked if we had one of those cars from the 1960s when I was little- after just discussing that I was born in the 1980s and that that car was from the 1960s.

So I asked the kids what they thought it was like when I was little.  There were some interesting answers.  They thought we had a milk man.  They thought girls always had to wear skirts.  Yet 10 minutes later they were asking something relating to calling my mom on her cell phone, email, and internet.

Silly kids.  Cell phones are their norm.  The internet is the norm.  Email is norm.  So I told them a story about going to the library and using books-- not Google and about the card catalog.  And about the printers with the tooth fed paper.