Did you tell my 18 month old baby to shut up?

Sitting in the car for several hours is not on the top 10 list of fun activities for a lot of kids. Sometimes it is just a necessity.

We were driving home and stopped at a Culver's in an attempt to delay a mutiny.

Little Dude was tired. His routine was messed up. He was out of sorts. He is 18 months old.

He threw a tantrum.  LittleDude (or Scooter) is pretty skilled at tantrums.  He has learned from the best.

I tried to calm him down while B got food. I sang, I danced, I jumped, I tried a game on the phone, I tried nursing, I tried a big boy chair, I tried sitting on my lap, a high chair, and the other kids tried peek a boo etc., and I had NO SUCCESS. He cried. He wailed.

There were three people sitting at a table near us and they were not thrilled with the tantrum (neither was I- thus trying to comfort him)

The lady told my 18 month old baby to shut up.  Not to be quiet. Not to calm down. But to shut up.  I picked my jaw up off of the floor and tried to calm down. If I said something to her--- I would have ended up in jail.

So I told B what had happened and he looked at me aghast.  "Are you serious??" he asked.  Yes, I said. He walked around the corner and got ready to approach her- again making sure he heard me correctly..."Really??" Yes really.

He confronted her,  her rudeness knows no bounds: she was rude to Brian too.  Thankfully, B is a lot more level headed than I am. He was stunned.  I thought about how I could be the most offensive possible to her--- whipping out superboob and convincing Pixie to have an amuse bouche with LittleDude? Tell all of  the kids to lose it and tantrum? I decided to take the high road.

She did tell B that she was a teacher and she did not want to have to listen to crying children when she was not at work. OMG- then don't go to a restaurant that caters to families at 5:30 pm.  If we had our kids at a nice restaurant and there was a behavior issue that's another thing.  If I was not at least attempting to comfort him- again that is another situation.  I feel really badly for kids she teaches. 

The tantrum wasn't even that long. Maybe 10 minutes at most.  The big kids were being very polite and sitting nicely.

While we were eating (the tantrum had ended) they got up and moved to a different section; leaving a huge mess in their wake- really it was disgusting.

We finished eating and cleaned up after ourselves- like normal people- and left.

What do you do when someone says something out of line? Was she out of line? Was I out of line? Was B out of line?

Besides even when having a tantrum LittleDude  (or Scooter) is really cute.

A health-care realization

I bitch about my kidney and the pain I deal with daily. 

But today, I realized that because of my status as a white, middle class, married, mom, who is insured, literate, intelligent, and educated.  If any of these variables I may have to fight for medical care.

I get great access to care- I can call my doctor and be seen today.  I can go to my local emergency room and be treated respectfully, listened to, and cared about.  My referrals to specialties are quick and efficient. Even my referrals to academic medical centers are quick. 

My doctors and health care professionals listen to me and take me seriously. 

I bring my husband with me when I can to help explain things from his perspective.  I all of my medical care at the same place.  I also do a lot of research to make sure I am understanding things properly.   

It is so depressing to realize that without my 'status' I would not have access to the medical care that I do.  Would not have access to my medications, I would not have access to surgeries and specialists. 

How come health care is not a human right? 

Full Heart, Full Life

For a long time I complained about feeling empty.  For the longest time I had felt like I was missing something. Missing some fulfillment. I would read articles and listen to friends talk about their meaningful lives and feel something was missing from mine. 

A few weeks or so ago, something clicked.  My life is rich and full and amazing. My kids make me nuts at times but I love them.  They give me so much- they keep me on my toes, they give me joy, and the make me see the most interesting points of view.

My life may not change the world-  but it may- I am helping to raise kind, thoughtful, global citizens who care about the environment- which may just change the world, one person at a time. 

My life is fulfilling.  I have a heart that is full, from the love and joy that my family brings me. I have even started loving serving, serving my children and family and helping keeping them healthy and cared for.

Who I am I!???!! Jean Valjean! 24601! and other methods of self discovery

The reference is from Les Miserables when Valjean spent years running away from himself, from who he was, and later learned to make peace with himself and accept himself.

Not really;  But I had the opportunity yesterday to do some serious soul searching and I was able to
realize a lot about who I am and what I want.

I am a naturally excitable person.  When out of control (thanks medication!) this tends to mania and severe anxiety and panic. Normally, I just get excited about silly things.  Happy dance over snow?? That's me.  Happy dance over a thunderstorm? Yep, I do that too.  Happy dance over a heatwave? Got it covered.  Same with the first flowers, beautiful leaves swirling and other natural phenomena. You should see me when things get really exciting... like when my kids learned to walk and talk. I did cartwheels. Really. Seriously. In the front yard.

This excitability that comes to me naturally is not a bad thing.  I am a very passionate person.  I feel others pain, I feel the injustice others deal with deeply and hurt for them

.  This is not a bad thing.  I will be loyal and cheer on my friends and acquaintances with enthusiasm.

I don't want to change that. I don't want to pretend to be someone else.  I did that for years- it sucks.  I managed to totally lose who I was and have to go through a lot to get back to me.

I am who I am.  Passionate, excitable, enthusiastic and loving.  I am not changing. I don't want to. Even if I wanted to- I couldn't.

Attitude is a big deal

Today, in a parking lot I ran into a woman I know who vaguely knows of some of the health challenges I have had these past few years.

She asked very concerned, how I was doing.  Usually, I'm fine. Sometimes I'm not though.

Statistically kidney issues are one of the better organ systems to have a problem with- there are more options available, life is sometimes pretty painful and obnoxious- but even still there are a lot worse problems to have.

The biggest problem I have is that I can't commit to things and plan things regularly- I never know if my kidney will be having a bad day, if I will have another infection etc.  It can be depressing and isolating.  It stinks a lot for the kids because this directly impacts them.
By the same token, rushing around trying to find child care is really hard in the case that I have to go to the hospital- but we manage.

But--- here is that big ole but-- it could be a lot worse.  So I'll take it and make the best of it.

Pixie turns 4

Can you believe it? Pixie is 4 now. Where did the years go? Seriously. Where did they go?

We had family birthday party the other day for her just the kids and Brian and I .  She requested a yellow cake with chocolate frosting.  Right before I frosted it, I got a request for pink frosting.  Thankfully, it was an easy fix.

So we had pink frosting on her yellow cake.

She loved having her siblings singing to her and blowing out her candles.  4 years old. 

She is so sweet and caring.  She will take no crap from anyone and insists on her fair share.  

Fire

Why do fires happen when the firefighter is not here?? First the dryer now the microwave.

I put some butter in the microwave to melt for popcorn.  Out of the corner of my eye the microwave looked really bright.  I turned around and saw flames. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Pushed the cancel button waited to the flames died down and took out the butter- at least it was melted.

I had to take all of the stuff off of the microwave and then carry the darn thing outside so no one would forget and use it darn thing is heavy!

So having a firefighter in the family is really not that useful.

Mani Pedi time!

Princess and I do not get a lot of time one on one.  Well, I don't get a lot of time one on one with anyone.. except Scooter (aka little dude). So I make an effort to get out with them one on one.  Last night was Princess's turn.

We went to get our nails done- I got a pedicure, a no chip manicure, and a brow wax.  Princess had a manicure and a pedicure.  It is amazing what cleaned up eyebrows do for you.

Our time was really relaxing we had a chance to chat and just be together.  She picked cute colors for her nails and enjoyed getting pampered.  They ladies were kind and so patient with her, she got cute designs put on her nails. 

Typically, I get maybe 3 pedicures a year, and no manicures--they wear off to fast with my life, but after talking to a bunch of friends I decided to give the no chip one a go. It was a long process! But, I am happy with it.  With normal manicures, already, less than 24 hours after getting it, it is already falling apart- this one looks good.

My kidney was really painful during this but it was so very worth it.  I need to get a chance to hang out with my kids.  I am their mother but I am also their friend.  By spending one on one time with them, I can keep our relationship close and intact so they know they can come to me with anything.  I will not stand in judgement- I will support them.

We had a good time, and next week its Stinky's turn,  his choice: Chuck E Cheese.