When the days drag-

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I know a fair amount of pregnant women. They seem to always say that "this pregnancy is flying by!"

I think the are insane. The first five and a half months are a haze of nausea- where each moment seemed to last a week. Now I am in the fires of heartburn. I feel like I have the gestation time of an elephant.

My pregnancy is not flying by the days, weeks, and months seem to be dragging so slowly, that time is almost moving backwards.

I am not really experiencing anxiety about this birth, it is not the my first time down this road. I am preparing with relaxation cds, with a doula, with a birth plan that can double as a book, but I am impatient.

How do you deal with the impatience when you know there are at least 11 weeks left? 11 weeks may as well be 11 years from where I sit.

It is hard to wrap my mind around the fact that this is the last time I will be pregnant. This is the last time I will feel another person inside me. This is the last chance that I will have to grow a person. Of course, when I think about it like that, a profound sense of guilt washes over me, like how can I take this for granted? How can I not be soaking up every last kick and wriggle?

Maybe, I should set aside time every day to do nothing but focus on my son. Nothing but focus on feeling him and enjoy it.

2 comments:

Leanne@lifehappenswhen said...

I never felt like my pregnancies "flew" by either. I'm definitely not someone who says, "I love being pregnant." It is an amazing experience, though, and I think I'd feel conflicted like you if I knew it were my last! Hang in there!

Lance and Stephanie Kneese said...

I dont "love being pregnant" that's for sure. I'm ready to be able to breathe and sleep on my back and have my bladder back.

I'm sorry you're pregnancy doesn't seem to be wanting to go by smoothly. Mine does seem to be flying by. Luckily I only had so many naucious days. And luckily enough that I've had a wonderful experience.

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