How to parent when dealing with pain

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

I don't know if you have missed me.  But I have missed writing.

Pain has been back in a big way.  My kidney has been causing me severe pain.

Last Thursday it was at its peak for me and I went to the ER.  I ended up having emergency surgery to relieve the pressure in my kidney.  A stent was put in and antibiotics started.  I hoped the antibiotics and the stent would set me right again.

It didn't work.  My pain level skyrocketed.  My normal routine of pain meds were not touching my pain, with all of the pain my kids were getting the really short end of the stick in a crabby tired mommy who had no energy for anything.  Things that I would normally laugh at sent me into a rage. It was unfair for them and depressing for me.

My stent was removed yesterday, as it had become occluded and prevented my kidney from draining.  But the pain continued, worsened even.  Enough pain that I again considered the ER- in the end I sat in a tub of hot water and practiced breathing techniques. 

This morning the pain is much better, not gone but good enough I felt like I could move without screaming.  We even went outside!

Which brings me to managing to parent when you are in serious pain.  It stinks but it is a fact of life for so many of us. 

Parenting is hard enough.  Adding pain or illness too it just ups the difficulty level by a factor of 100.
It is not all bad though.  Kids can learn that we need to work as a team, that empathy is important, and that parents make mistakes too.

I run out of patience so much faster when in pain.  I know I have said things I do not mean to my children when I hurt.  It doesn't take back what I said but I apologize to them- they at least can understand that I am admitting I was wrong and I am sorry I hurt their feelings.

Children can be very caring individuals.  They want to make their friends and family feel better.  My kids make up some wonderful songs to cheer me up and draw amazing pictures.  Let them be a part of helping you feel better- even if it is matching socks- it is one less thing for you to do.

Teamwork is an important life lesson to learn in general.  In our family we all work together.  If we are working against each other nothing would ever get done.  By working together and helping each other we can do more that we could imagine. 


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