I am still in the hospital. Still. It has been forever.
I am having a hard time explaining how I am feeling- but it is not good. I miss my kids. I miss my kids so much it hurts.
What if LittleDude does not love me as much? What if he has forgotten me? Ugh What if our attachment has been disrupted?
I miss laying down and cuddling with him an snuggling with my kids. Watching them sleep: the funny muscle twitches. The sweet snoring. Their dreams.
Not knowing my kids is terrifying. I love knowing their passions. Knowing their hearts. What if I don't any more? How do I get that back?