Let me wallow for a moment

Saturday, April 13, 2013

I am still in the hospital.  Still. It has been forever.

I am having a hard time explaining how I am feeling- but it is not good.  I miss my kids.  I miss my kids so much it hurts.

What if LittleDude does not love me as much?  What if he has forgotten me? Ugh What if our attachment has been disrupted? 

I miss laying down and cuddling with him an snuggling with my kids.  Watching them sleep: the funny muscle twitches.  The sweet snoring.  Their dreams. 

Not knowing my kids is terrifying.  I love knowing their passions.  Knowing their hearts.  What if I don't any more?  How do I get that back?


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