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I come from a completely confusing religious upbringing. Evangelical Christian was a bad word.
However I have never been able to identify totally with 'Roman Catholic'...though I love a lot of the high church traditions. I also love Shul and the beauty inherent there. To claim myself as Christian seems to turn my back on a lot of my upbringing and insulting to my family...
Where does that leave me and my crisislet of faith? The notion that G-d would sacrifice his son for us--is incomprehensible to me. That I am worth that any of that--is beyond me, maybe that is where my issue comes in. It seems presumptuous to me.
One thought that I do love is forgiveness- the notion that once you ask for forgiveness your wrongs are forgotten is comforting.
What I know the Jewish traditions are beautiful. The Catholic traditions are beautiful. I need my own religion that incorperates both. That recognizes Jesus was a Jew and from that Christianity arose-- and then celebrates that.
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2 comments:
If you were raised Roman Catholic, that is Christian! So don't feel like you're turning your back if you feel that's a religion you want to explore. There's different facets of Christianity and many denominations to explore. Perhaps Roman Catholic isn't for you buy maybe a more traditional one is-Luteran, Presbateryan (bad spellin!), Anglican...there are a lot of denominations to explore.
Here's something to whet your whistel...you say you have trouble accepting/believing that Jesus would die for you because you are unworthy. If you don't believe or accept it does it make it less true that it happened? If someone offers to pay your house off completely, right now, and you say you can't accept that because it's too big and you haven't done anythign to warrent it, does it make the offer not exist anymore-like it never happened? Just something to mull over for you...
Have you read "Girl Meets God" or "Mudhouse Sabbath" by Lauren Winner? They are both really great books (I'd start with Girl Meets God) by a girl who is kind of half Jewish, half Christian. You should totally read them!
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