Recovery.

I had mistakenly thought that this recovery would be like the recovery from having my appendix out. I was wrong. It is hell. Moving is hell. Twisting, bending, reaching, any movement, makes me wince in pain.

The poor kids. They do not understand, they do not understand that when you touch my back the waves of pain are beyond comprehension.

As far as they know everything they are used to has changed. I cannot play with them, they cannot climb ob me... it is asking them to shift everything they know in an instant and that is not fair.

How can I expect them to accept such a change so easily. But it is so so frustrating because I want to heal and I want to rest but I can't explain that I need time to heal and to rest.

Maybe they'll get it. Maybe.