Saturday, April 21, 2012
Yesterday my 5 year old son made a comment that threw me off my balance. "mama why are you still fat?" hmm well thanks babe. To some people this is just a silly thing that kid says. To me. It was almost Earth shattering. See- I am balanced in a precarious place with my eating. Recovered? Nope. Maintaining weight? Yep. I still have the same thought processes.. my self talk is not kind. But it usually stops there. My son's comment upset my balance. I was thrown in a minor tailspin. What to do? How do I react. Can I go for a run now? Do I immediately go vomit? I did not go vomit. I did not go for a run. I turned to some great people to help get me through the immediate problem. Now I have to work on longer term. I keep replaying the comment in my head- over and over. Then I end up with self talk about how I am clearly fat- that even a five year old can see it. The point is eating disorders don't have an end point. It is not like a cold where you get better and are all done. There are hills and valleys, but when there are comments and such it is like getting pushed from a valley into a canyon.
Posted by Just Me at 3:21 PM