Return to the pole

Monday, April 2, 2012

I am back- kind of.

Today was my first day back after being off for 7 months to have a baby/have wrist surgery.

It was rough. Rougher than I expected. Really really rough.

I am having a hard time with that. I am not used to really struggling with tricks. Climbing was hard. My extra padding was getting in the way, I couldn't remember where to put my feet or my hands... then once I got going it was like I was just beginning again, my foot was sore, to top it all off- once I got up getting down was a pain too!

Shoulder Mounts just were not happening. A trick I loved and was really good at- I couldn't do.

My basic invert is sloppy.

Peter Pan combos: I kept hitting the floor with my outside foot.

Butterfly/extended butterfly- not so great.

and the worst... the most devastating to me was the fact I could not get my top foot on the pole for pole splits.

- I know I had a baby 3 weeks ago, my body has to go back to normal- but it is really hard to accept that right now- and I am resisting pushing to hard-

For a little bit I considered leaving class because it was such a struggle for me and I was getting really frustrated. For a little while I considered quitting all together- because my negative self talk was getting in the way- that I would never be able to do those tricks again, blah blah blah....

It was not the same as my previous class. My previous group had been together for a year. We knew each other. We knew about kids, spouses, troubles, jobs... we cared about each other. We were raunchy and dirty and funny. Our dynamic was incredible. This group is really nice- but I don't know them. I am not comfortable with them. I hope that grows.

Then I remembered a few things. How absolutely fun it is when you get a new trick. How I felt at the beginning of during meditation before Melissa decided to kill my arms.

So what now? I may exercise some at home in my spare time (I mean there is SOOOO much of it!) I am going to focus on the fact that I learned this tricks before, I can do it again. I am going to commit to being thankful that I have an incredible place I can go and laugh hysterically, and not have my identity as someone's mother- someone's wife. (I am totally stuck in that right now- I need to carve out my own identity again) I'll get there. But I'll be back at Tease next week. I see if I can work in some open pole classes to get myself back moving again.


Farrah said...

Give yourself time, girl. You'll get back to where you were. :) Meanwhile, enjoy the time away to yourself. Can't wait to meet that little guy!! Will I see you Thursday at Loretto?

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