The entire DCFS thing really has thrown me off balance as a mom and person. I am angry. Betrayed. Sad.
My sister and my friends were offended and offended for me. I found this comforting. Like I wasn't nuts for feeling so upset. It was validating. Typically, I have a really hard time judging my reactions to make sure they are appropriate, if I am more hurt than is reasonable etc. This validation was very useful to me.
I had to figure out why I am still upset over this- why I still have to resist the urge to yell at my neighbor and question what on earth she was thinking, how could she even think that of me and my family. I am not perfect. I am a flawed person and flawed mother. I am human. But, I think I am a good mother. I love my children more than I can explain. I am proud of the way I have chosen to parent them. I am proud of the way they are growing. I am proud of us. The DCFS thing was cutting because it was essentially saying I am not a good parent. It has not been easy for us for the past few years. I have had health struggles, we have a lot of kids. But I'll be damned if my children are not at the forefront of my mind with every choice I make.