Please excuse me

I need a moment of self pity.

The past couple of years have been challenging. I think all in all I have muddled through okay- coming out on the other side reasonably intact.

Now I am feeling beat down and bedraggled. With the Great Fracture: The Wrist, Clotting Fun, and the Kidney Crisis 2010 coupled with some private things I have a full buffet to choose from.

But it gets better. This 'cold' that turned into an ear infection, sinus infection, pneumonia, exacerbated asthma, and now pleurisy I am tired. I am so so tired. I can't keep up. I can't keep everything straight.

Is it appropriate to say 'screw it' now? Can I have an implosion and let someone else pick up the pieces for a bit? How can I keep asking my friends to help me? How can I? It is not fair to them for me to need so much. I feel like a parasite, sucking the energy out of everything.

It is not an option though. I will get up tomorrow brush my teeth, get dressed, and go about the day. And I will remember to be thankful. What I have on my plate is a lot, but it could be worse. Most of all: I am not in this alone. Never. I will with G-ds grace make it through this too and remember that what I have been given more gifts and blessings than I can ever begin to count.