Sweet Boy

My Stinky.

My sweet sweet Stinky.

He is a fantastic little boy he is authentic and sweet. Caring and vibrant. He also can whine and push buttons like a master.

He and Peas are either peas in a pod or at each others' throats. He will push her she will fight back and the clash of the titans ensues. It occurs daily.

He is so sensitive to the needs of others and others feelings.

Stinky however has this amazing capacity to love and show compassion and empathy in his four year old little self. He accidentally broke his sisters toy and felt so bad about it. He cried and cried even though he knew I was not angry, he was so so sad. He did not want his sister to be sad either.

On top of that when he does make a sad choice and I tell him so he feels shame. "I a bad boy mama" is frequently something that he says. By no stretch of anything is he a bad boy. He is a fantastic boy. Did he make a bad choice? Yes. Does everyone? Yes. Does that mean he is bad? Absolutely not. This breaks my heart. No one tells him he is a bad boy. A) that is just mean. B) it is untrue.

He loves his trains and cars with every little cell in his body. I have never met a boy so captivated by them. I have no idea what it is about trains and cars that he finds so entrancing but there is something.

When he build a train track it is so complex full of twists and turns. There are bridges and tunnels and 'L' tracks and sidings. He is going to be some kind of planner or engineer. The way his brain works fascinates me. As I, as an adult would not be able to come up with half of the things he can.

The excitement he feels is palpable and contagious for his trains. While I do not understand his love of trains I understand what it feels like to love something and have its presence make you so excited. This, makes me excited for him. This joy is a part of life that every kid should feel and this joy makes me so happy for him.

His empathy and sensitivity are astounding. He may only be four but things touch him in a way that is so much more mature than a typical four year old. Sadly, he does not always know how to express the feelings he has so they get expressed as frustration but when he can calm down and explain what he is experiencing. I am thrilled and blessed to know the kind of boy that I am raising

1 year ago we wecomed Pixie into our family

She has helped me grow as a mother, made Peas a big sister and made Stinky a big brother, again, and Princess a big sister (again), she has brought countless smiles and endless laughter to our home.

She has grown from a 4 lb peanut to a big girl (no recent weight, sorry). She can walk, she smiles, she laughs, she points, and apparently can climb the stairs faster than I can, she throws her head back in delight. She is a sweet baby with a genial disposition but a mischievous streak- for example she loves to feed the dogs her food. Which means the her her best friends forever and they dutifully sit beside her highchair awaiting her cast offs.

So Pixie, you are a gift. Thank you for letting me be your mama.

Taken shortly after birth



Taken at two weeks



Taken a few weeks ago.


Photos Courtesy of Jenni of Lion's Roar Media

Family

A few days ago I made a roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli for dinner. I made my chicken, then put the chicken to rest while I used the drippings to make the gravy. "Equal parts fat and flour" was the mantra that ran through my head as I mixed.

My mom taught me that when I was little, when she would make gravy from meat drippings standing in the kitchen wearing her "bless this mess apron" and I would ask questions incessantly. I did absorb some of it.

A few weeks before, I went to the farmers market and I smelled the aroma of concord grapes and I remembered my mom making jelly every autumn in the kitchen from the grapes in the yard.

Then came the "chi-clone" of 2010. What was purported to be the biggest storm to hit the mid-west in 70 years. I thought of my dad- I remember being a kid and him being a super hero. He could fix anything. There were years in there that were awful (awful is an understatement) but now I am back to admiring him, he knows more about so many things that I have no clue about.

Thanks to my grandmother I can play cribbage, I can make fudge.... I am so thankful that I have had people pass these skills on to me and made wonderful priceless memories in the process.

Hopefully my mother will teach my kids how to crochet and my dad will teach them how to fish. I hope they will have the same kind of wonderful memories that I do

right now...

in this moment I am struggling.

Things that I have been trying to ignore trying to not think about trying to forget trying to manage get the better of me.

there is no name for this feeling, everything annoys me. everything makes me want to yell. I want to go away, just to go somewhere to not be touched not hear anything.

I feel like I can't i feel buried. I feel tired.

help please. please please help.

No, No, Peas...

Anytime that is said it can mean big trouble. Today, this morning, before I had even let the dogs out, it meant little trouble, a lot of little trouble. Peas had decided to figure out how the keys on my laptop work, by taking more than 80 of them off.

She also managed to take off the little white things that attach the key to the keyboard as well as take those apart. Good times. She sure is inquisitive.

It is a miracle I was able to find all of the keys and white pieces given the number of small people and animals in residence at my home. But, my I did, with help. Even better I got all of the keys back on. Still better (and more shocking) is that they WORK!

Peas though really did not know she was doing anything wrong- she is a curious little girl and she is two- and just expressing her totally natural curiosity- I probably would be less calm about it had I not been able to get the keyboard functioning again though.

Sigh... what's in store for tomorrow???

Something off my chest

I love my kids. Really I do. They are pretty awesome.

But...... (brace yourselves)

The sun does not shine out of their butts, nor do they crap rainbows with sparkles. They are kids. Human children. I love them dearly but sometimes they annoy the crap out of me. Sometimes, I would like quiet for more than 30 seconds, I would like to get dressed without the concern for hiding kid's messes on my clothes (I make enough mess on my own, thanks).

I am so freaking tired of people who talk about how their kids are perfect and get along all the time. They never fight (I joke about needing a ref's whistle), temper tantrums are not as frequent (tantrums are constant),the kids go to bed nicely (not even going to touch that one), they sit quietly in church (I am rolling my eyes), and they take medicine (I do acetaminophen suppositories for Stinky, Pixie, and Peas- it saves time and money on medicine spit on the floor).

Fabulous. Your kids are perfect. Mine aren't. They are people- blessings and flaws. Good days and bad. I love them that way. If they were too perfect I would be worried about "Stepford Wives, version 2.0". They are great- just as they are.

Please now go tell them to play in some mud.

two is trouble

This is Peas.
She is a sweet child (most of the time). She is kind (most of the time). She is passionate (all of the time). She has an awesome sense of humor.

But she is also driving me to drink.

Yesterday, I needed to pick Princess up at a friends house- I left later than I had planned (silly me). Peas wanted to ride a scooter there, generally, when I have no time issues- sure no problem. However, I had 10 minutes to get somewhere- if she had scooted it would have taken 45 minutes. Typically, sure, no problem, rushing is over-rated, but then I needed to make time. So in the stroller she went- she was pissed off, and let everyone know, loudly, with shrieking, and screaming in a tone and at a volume ,I previously thought was only achieved by banshees.

I attempted to explain that I would bring the scooter with and she could scoot to her hearts desire on the way home but now we just did not have time. She was unimpressed. She wanted her scooter NOW!

So I walked the few blocks with Pixie on my back, Stinky riding his bike, and Peas wailing in the stroller.

I received several looks from passers by.

To them:

Yes, I know she is crying. I have tried to calm her down. I have done the 'distract and re-direct' trick- but she has a focus like a laser beam.

Yes, her crying irritates me too.

Yes, she is my child, no I am not kidnapping her.

No, I did not beat her, I buckled her in the stroller- cruel I know.

She is two years old. This is her way of dealing when she is upset- don't you ever wish you could let it go like that??

Sincerely,

Me.

Once at our destination, I immediately unbuckled her from the stroller and set the scooter down next to her. Apparently, I had offended Peas sensibility so deeply that even the scooter (which she wanted) would not help her calm down. She stood there and screamed with every cell in her body. The INJUSTICE of it all was overwhelming to her.

So back in the stroller she went after standing there for several minutes trying to calm her down. More screaming ensued. We walked home. She eventually calmed down. Eventually.

Being two is really hard for the kid- they just can't understand somethings. But it is also hard on everyone else, siblings, parents etc.

annoying!!

I was all set on something to write about today but it has vanished into thin air- much like my motivation.

Maybe it is this stinking infection that has sucked every ounce of motivation and drive from me soul. Stupid infections. Silly casts.

Ohh did I not mention much here? I hurt my wrist/arm. It is all kinds of awesome. I have a pink cast that goes to just below my elbow. I neglect to realize how much I need two hands for or how dirty this parenting job really is. Not to mention how often I wash my hands or, in general get them wet. As getting my cast wet is not allowed a lot of things have required creativity... bathing children, doing dishes, laundry,etc have all needed to be reworked. So, a word of advice do not go hurting your armwhen you are a mother of young kids... makes things complicated.

I thought I'd have a few more years

Yesterday morning I noticed that Peas had a blue streak in her hair.

Peas is the wild child of the group. Stinky is my sensitive soul, Princess is the leader.. Pixie is just happy. So given the respective temperaments I would not be shocked to see Peas walk in with blue hair- however- at age 2 she is ahead of what I was anticipating.

I have no idea how she managed to get blue in her hair. I have looked for a rogue marker or other blue coloring device without success. Best of all, I cannot wash her hair with the cast so I need to get someone to take pity on my and do it....

How did I NOT mention this???

Pixie can WALK! Before she is one! More than just a step or two now. She can get her little self all over with out much of an issue now. She is so incredibly proud of her new skill. Frankly, I am pretty proud of her too.

It is time for an October Giveaway!

I have shared my friend Jenni's crazy good photography skills often.

And I shared some of my more tame 'Boudoir' photos that she did. I believe I even talked about the awesomeness that was the shoot. I felt confident, hot, sexy and feminine. Jenni made me laugh hysterically and get some incredible shots.

To refresh your memory of the classy hotness that Jenni made me:






Where is the Giveaway?? Here.

I am thrilled to be able to offer you a giveaway of a Boudoir Photo Shoot with Jenni herself. The winner will receive: a free boudoir shoot. Includes everything listed in the package: 1-hour session, private online gallery, and imitation leather album with her favorite images. The winner is free to upgrade their package at their cost.

There are some more details here: Those who enter receive 20% off the boudoir package if they book/pay for our November marathon by October 25. Boudoir session attendees must be 18 years or older, and female. The attendees also must live in the Chicago area or travel here at her own expense.

Hair and Make- up are available at a reasonable cost (totally worth it)

So here goes- the details:

Contest will end on October 25 at 11:59 pm central time. At which time I will use random.org to draw a comment number. Please have an email address associated with your profile so I can contact you- or leave it in the comment! The winner has 5 business days to respond or another winner will be drawn.

How to enter:

1) comment
2) post this on your Facebook page and tell me about it in another comment
3) Like 'Making It Fun' on Facebook and tell me you did
4) Tweet this giveaway and tell me you did
5) Follow me on Twitter and tell me so
6) Follow my blog and tell me!


Ladies: Christmas is coming! Think of the incredible gift your guy could get!
Besides that- do it for you. You will feel amazing!

Cheesus

I am a Glee fan.

The cover songs are fun and the over all show is not labor intensive to watch.

The week prior Glee featured Britney Spears. Which was very, hmm, interesting.

But this week, to me, Glee redeemed itself admirably. The plot line was tragic: Kurt nearly lost his father after the loss of his mother. Heartbreaking.
Also involved was Finn, who believed he saw Jesus appear to him on a grilled cheese.

However, Kurt is surrounded by his friends and their love and faith. It is the later that caused friction.

As the episode centered around faith and finding, exploring, turning to, or losing faith.

Kurt, an atheist, was upset by his friends offering their prayers. To paraphrase, G-d made him gay and then all of his {G-d's} followers were persecuting him.

Puck made a fantastic point that he believed that part of faith was living to live: enjoying the life we have. As he said Jesus is his "number one heeb". The big point made here is not shoving faith down other people's throat's. Also he alludes to disliking the 'holier than thou' attitude. Which, quite honestly, is one of my huge pet peeves.

So what? What is religion? Faith?

Is is like "Footprints?" being carried or helped when times are rough?
Is it a culture, part of your identity, your history?
A delusion?

A mixture?

It gets a bit foggy here for me. When the girls were in Kurt's father's room praying one mentioned that they were all from different religions, different denominations so one may get it right... what if there is not "right" what if "right" is loving and caring for each other while having faith without judgment?

Mercedes brings Kurt to her church and sings a Gospel rendition of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" after talking about how everyone as their own beliefs and that is okay.. but that you 'have' to believe in something bigger something that was sacred. Kurt realized that his "bigger" was his relationship with his father. Kurt held that sacred. The sanctity of that relationship was something he valued beyond anything.

The realization came to me that G-d has many ways of working in my life and the things that are sacred to me, are touched by Him. They manifestations of his work in my life.

I loved this episode. It embodied my faith journey that I am still on. The show managed to be neither preachy nor judgmental which considering the subject is huge.

Well done

Pictures

From Jenni at Lion's Roar Media

blah blah blah.... the goodies:

(like anyone wants to read what I have to say when photos are waiting!)








These are just the previews!! how am I going to figure out which to order??!

what does she have against clothes??

Peas is two. She is firmly in the "no clothes are the best clothes" stage of life.

Most of the time you can find her little naked bum running around perfectly content in her nakedness.

I realize this is my fault. When she was done with diapers I intentionally left off her bottoms so she could see and be aware of her body (as well as let me get her situated on the potty that much faster). It worked she is aware of her body and she is aware that she prefers to sport the nudist look.

It totally fits with her personality though. She is a free spirit. A modern day hippie. So her decided disdain for clothes is fitting.

Around the house I don't mind my little nudist. However, in public other people have an issue with it more than I do. We have had to in act a rule that requires at least underpants when company is over or when we are in front of the house. With out fail she objects.

The best way to get her to wear clothes is to allow her to choose her own outfit- which may be a ballet costume or a princess dress, heck- even her parka has been worn in July.

She is an independent one.

Will it hurt them to LISTEN??

It is like talking to a 2 year old!

I fell (big surprise!) and I injured my wrist..... Yay!

So I called my doctor the next day to make an appointment to get it looked at- I thought it was just sprained.

The convo went like this:

Receptionist: "thank you for calling xyz..how may I help you"
Me: "Hello, I am Jane Doe, I need to make an appt with Dr. Smith because I hurt my wrist"
Receptionist: "Ok what is your name?"
Me: "Jane Doe"
Receptionist: "last name?"
Me: "Doe"
Receptionist: "which doctor do you see"
Me: "Dr. Smith"
Receptionist: "well Dr. Wells is booked today, would you see someone else?"
Me: "That is great for Dr. Wells but I see Dr. Smith."
Receptionist: " Ok, well Dr. Smith is booked for today"
Me: "great well I need to get my wrist looked at"
Receptionist: "Ok well Dr. Nels has an opening at 10."
Me: "Great. I'll see you then"

It was so annoying! It was all for an x-ray and for them to tell me I broke my wrist. Well thanks.

The entire thing could have been cut in half if she had LISTENED. It is like talking to my two year old!

Post pole time

I have been slacking on this lately- I missed a lot of classes so there was not much to report but now that I am getting back into it slowly- I am learning so many new tricks I can't keep them straight. Karyn will say, "show me your standing fairy" and my eyes will cross as I try and figure out exactly what she is talking about. Bearing in mind that The Fairy is a level 1 trick.....

There is also the kick drop smack your butt on the ground trick that I should work on more... It may not be as pretty as it could be but it is fun to do- and I spend a lot of time laughing when doing these tricks. I laugh until the next day when my butt protests getting up and moving-- and looking at the stairs makes makes my thighs quiver (not complaining- I LOVE it!)

Maybe Faith?

Its no secret that I have had a few run-ins with G-d about faith.

But through them I have become more faithful- if not more religious.

I have never read the Bible. Clarification: I have read bits here and there. I have read what was required in school and I have read what was required for worship but on my own-- the Bible and I are not well acquainted.

Yet- I have great faith in G-d. I feel like I am getting there- little by little knowing Him more.

My faith has not come from reading Psalms or Exodus. My faith has come more quietly. My faith has come from the conversations from the questions that I have and I bring and give to Him. While sometimes the answers are hard to see and hard to understand... I usually get there.

I wish I knew more about the stories- but that is something I can learn about- the treasure I think is my personal faith that no story can touch.

Long week

There are a few weeks that pretty much without fail will suck. I know this going into them. I can circle them a year a head on the calender and just know that from day x to day y I will be a basket case of nerves ready to spring or crumple.

The anniversaries of loss. The anniversary of leaving or return. The feelings the anxiety the total feeling that gnaws at my soul leaving this jittery feeling or the bottomless empty pit.

I know these weeks in advance. I typically just accept that things are going to be hard those days and muddle through. Much like the name muddling through is not pretty- it is getting by. It is doing what is needed to do to keep things moving. To keep going forward. At times it feels like I am stuck in a thick mess of something that slows down the time around me that makes every movement seem thick.

Conversely, at times I feel like I vibrate around a ball of frenetic anxiety. Unable to slow down. My heart will not slow down and I cannot quiet my head. When my thoughts move at a pace that is indescribable and my hands shake trying to pour milk.

Soon the week ends and I can return to my 'normal'. My life goes on much as it was. The feelings are still there- buried below the surface. But there.

That is what life is an exercise in learning to carry on, to get through it, to continue, despite it all.

Winner!

I used random.org to select a winner! She has been notified and has 5 days to respond!
keep reading I have a bonus giveaway next week!