When you lose it

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Face it.  Kids can be frustrating and overwhelming.  I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and irritated.  Its life.

I try not to lose my patience with my kids, but honestly- it is hard.  It is really hard.  There are 5 of them 1 of me, 2 dogs, and 2 cats.  I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.

And therein lies the problem.  I am not fighting anything unless I choose to. Nothing really needs to be a fight.

But like all plans- they go awry and sometimes I end up yelling.  So what then?  I want to be a peaceful parent who utilizes non-violent communication.  That sense of failure makes me even more mad and frustrated- which begins a frustration spiral and basically becomes a big mess.

So what gives?

a)  try not to lose your patience,sometimes I end up having a glass of water or walking up and down the driveway to calm myself down until I can address the issue.

b) figure out exactly what is frustrating you.  Is it that the kids are being loud?   Work on addressing the core issue.

c) if you yell- and you very well may.  Apologize.  Humbling yourself in front of your kids teaches them a valuable lesson.  It teaches them that grownups are not perfect, that they are worthy respect, and that grownups care about them

So don't despair if you end up yelling.  Try again.  

2 comments:

Britton said...

I need, need, NEED this! I feel so bad when I yell at my children sometimes, and afterwards, there is just this awkward silence between us. I feel bad, and don't really know what to say. I usually apologize the next day, but I still just feel soooo bad!

Kristin Leamy said...

What a timely post!! Lately I have lost it pretty much constantly with my daughter...and yet she flies at me randomly with big hugs and "I love love love you Mommy!" declarations. I especially need to use the number 1 suggestion, and remove myself to cool off. We make liberal use of apologizing to each other, and I do it quite often since I yell far more than I want to. Well written post, and excellent timing!

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