I beg your pardon???!???!?!!?

For a few moments this morning I was questioning reality. Some people I know teased me with the possibility of calorie free wine. that was 12% ETOH. The juice of the gods. Seriously. I was all excited. thinking my prayers have been answered.

then someone dashed my hopes and made me cry like a toddler. The wine is not calorie free. When that news escaped I think mommies everywhere began to silently weep.

A few other women's quotes about it:

"I'll die drunk and skinny" (this in regards to the sweetener that was used probably causing cancer)

'Does it have crack it it crack wine?'
'then pop a cork and call me whitney, I want some'

Upon the revelation that it does in fact have calories:

'God giveth and God taketh away'
'God hates us'
'you know there is a good reason God puts calories in booze. The calories in wine are the only thing stopping me from being a raging alcoholic'