boundaries

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

what do you do when the lines between you and your children become blurred when you are always being touched and talked to when you forget who you are as a person and become something...someone else. When you forget what it is to be alone to not constantly think of the children or think in terms of mom hood.

I looked through my closet the other day to go out with a girlfriend and I realized all of my clothes were 'mom' clothes great for playground wear...being a grown-up and heaven forbid sexy...not so much.

The parenting thing is my job. cool I get it. But even full time workers get a day off once and a while. Calling in sick is an option...personal days are there for a reason. But that is the thing....I would not want to go back to work and send them to daycare either... it is very frustrating being stuck in the position of either working and surrendering caring for your children to someone else or staying at home and being mom...exclusive to everything else.

I have been told to go out at night with friends and do things for grown ups....etc. It is not that simple. I do not have a husband who walks through the door at 5:30 or 6:00 and is there to shoulder half the childcare... this is a 24/7 job.

1 comments:

Atwood-Family of 3 said...

Do the kids have a consistent bedtime routinue? Of course my first thought was to hand them over to hubby when he gets home, but you addressed that! So my next thought was that if they have a bedtime and are able to go to bed on time and stay in their beds and sleep (and probably all 3 of those things are asking for a bit much! :)) then at least you get your break when they are down. Anne goes down between 7:30 and 8 and stays in there. So even if John got home uber late that night, at least I have 2 hours before I go to bed to unwind, watch TV, veg, whatever. Just a thought....

Also, TV has been my best friend lately. Ok, not best friend, but a good helper. When I feel too tired physically at 5 pm and John still has an hour to get home, she watches TV on the couch w/ me. I read. She's happy that I'm "watching" with her and I'm happy I'm laying down and reading.

The next one is hard for me, but to bring the kids along w/ me on things that I enjoy. I love taking walks-ALONE. I love listening to my book on tape and vegging out for 30 minutes. Yesterday Anne and I took a walk and it was great. I felt like I got a break and we both got fresh air and it was okay that I had to talk to her throughout the walk. Same with taking her to the gym. Yeah, I might have to stop the workout halfway through to calm her down or deal with her, but at least I still get my workout.

Just some ideas-maybe one will help-a little. Good luck!

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