Betrayal.

Ever since she has been home from the NICU I have not been apart from her for long. Never overnight until I had my medical issues this summer even then I usually pushed hard to only be away overnight.

When I had my big surgery a week ago I knew that it would be hard on her to be away from me for so long. Seeing as sitting a 13 month old down and explaining to her that Mama needs to get something fixed and I'd be back as soon as I could- is not really reasonable I was pretty nervous about leaving her.

She was sad that I was gone. She was wimpering like a sad puppy from what my friend told me. I was not worried about the care she would receive but I was concerned about how she would react- added to this she had a cold.

Typically, the hospital stay for the procedure I had is 5 days. Despite my complications I complained and pushed to come home sooner. I made it home in 2 days.

When I got home, Pixie was not thrilled to see me. She was angry! She looked at me like I had betrayed her on some base level. She was pissed! How dare I? How could I do that to her? It was heartless of me. I also think that she was not sure if I was a baby mirage or not. Once she figured out I really was there, then she was more pleased to see me. Like turning on a dime she went from angry at me to not letting me out of her sight. If I went out of the room she was terrified I would leave again. If I went pee- she woud go too. I could do whatever I wanted- as long as she was with me. Heaven forbid you put her in the carseat-- that was NOT ok.

Even now a week after getting home she is still not thrilled if I am out of her line of sight. Maybe by the time she is in high school she'll have gotten over it.