Tuesday, June 24, 2008

as I have previously posted parenting is a journey kinda like the Odyssey...with several unexpected issues arising. It is in the handling of these issues that you earn your stripes as a parent or voyager, as the case may be.

I have made some good decisions and some bad ones regarding the rearing of my children. My "odyssey" began as a mainstream parent, then I started questioning the 'mainstream' view of things and learned to draw my own conclusions and do what comes naturally to me (for the most part, I must restrain myself from losing patience with my children at least once a day)

The purpose of this post is to question why so many parents simply go along with mainstream parenting practices. If they worked as well as they are supposed to, why are so many children on antidepressants, ADHD, autistic, and so many other things?

Please note that I am not blaming or accusing 'mainstream' parents of anything, more or less just encouraging them to listen to their hearts and learn their children, learn their cues, and listen to them.

For example one of my biggest pet peeves is sleep training. Why? Why did do parents feel the need to teach the kids to sleep through the night? Why let them cry it out? It breaks my heart when I have to let my kids cry for a few minutes. Children are children 24 hours a day and need parents 24 hours a day just because the sun sets does not mean that they need any less parenting.

Before anyone gets all upset with me, I will acknowledge that there are circumstances where CIO is warranted but parents should remember that children are children and should be treated with compassion


Catherine said...

I agree with you, but I would take it still a step further. Even the "non-mainstream" parenting methods don't really encourage you to follow your instincts. They may say that, but then it seems they just want you to follow this new way. I'm all for throwing philosophies to the wind and just being a smart, informed parent who knows yourself and your kids!

Atwood-Family of 3 said...

Yeah, I agree w/ you too, on a lot of different issues that go along w/ what you mentioned. Mainly that people blindly follow their doctors. I'm going to tred carefully here, but I believe almost every pregnant woman, at her first prenatal, is offered an ultrasound. I would venture to say almost all of these women never ask why they need it. If they do ask, after being given one of 2 answers: 1. We need it to date the pregnancy or 2. We want to make sure everything is ok, they still go along w/ it even if 1. they know the date they concieved, thus are sure of a due date, thus not needing an ultasound to date the pregnancy or 2. would not terminate the pregnancy even if "something was wrong" thus making that initial ultrasound useless as if something came up as "wrong" in that initial ultrasound it is for sure going to come up later when perhaps something could be done about it. Anyway, that's my soapbox, why don't we question things more. 30 years ago we thought xrays on pregnant women were safe. I have no idea if we'll find the same thing or not w/ ultrasound. Certainly there are instances when an ultrasound early on is a wise idea, but not for 99% of pregnant women.

Although, for my sanity, and I can share my story later, I did let Anne CIO. It was for sure the right choice for us. Although, I NEVER pushed her to sleep through the night-I dutifully got up in the middle of the night w/ her for 10 straight months until she started sleeping through completely on her own. We only let her CIO for naps, and I really really needed her to take naps. Anyway, I will gladly share that w/ you later if you want. But there are so many more parenting issues that we follow blindly (ex, watching baby einstein as a baby-now 5-10 years later learning that it causes ADD-or contributes anyway.) Okay, this comment is long enough.

Just Me said...

catherine- i may be misinterpreting the ap philosophies but to opinion is that following your instincts and listening to your babies cues... just my .02


i totally get you on the naps! but i'd be willing to bet you did not start the CIO until she was older, meaning not when she was 6 weeks old...another mom on a messsage board is ferberizing her 6 week old

Atwood-Family of 3 said...

iActually, E, for naps we did start letting her cry it out right at 6 weeks old! again, this was for my sanity-i had spent 6 weeks w/ her basically attached to me 24 hours a day, not getting much sleep, having TONS of breastfeeding problems, being in pain, etc and I just lost it one day and realized I need SPACE and i need it BAD. So it was either let her cry it out so I could get an hour to myself or it was literally yell and scream at her while trying to put her down because every attempt to actually get her on her own resulted in her crying and me picking her up again. Trust me, this was the best choice for all of us. I'd like to think and hope that the next kid I can be a bit more laid back and AP.

Just Me said...

april, but you see parenting is a journey, you do what you need to do for everyone's sake. ie me and my wine/diet coke...don't mess with them

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