No tears here

Friday, October 14, 2011

I can't cry. I feel things- but I can't cry.

In fact, I am jealous of people who can just let it all out in a good cry. I can't. My eyes may get wet, but that step into actual tears I just can't make. I wish I could.

People have told me that I must have a heart of stone for not being able to cry (gee thanks). After discussing it with a lot of people, I have come to the con conclusion that it has to be some sort of defense mechanism. I will not let people see me like that. I will not let people see me vulnerable. I will not let people hurt me.

Honestly, I do not let anyone get close to me. I have been hurt too much and just cannot seem to let down my guard for anyone.

I do not want my children to feel like this. I want them to cry and feel joy freely. But (a big but) I am afraid to change my own way of dealing with things to let myself be vulnerable.

3 comments:

Jewely Bug said...

I hover somewhere between being a big crybaby and a stone. Sometimes I cry too much. Sometimes I tuck all the emotion away. I don't want my daughter to see that I can't control my emotions nor that it's not okay to show them. Parenting is certainly a big question mark, isn't it? lol

Life In A Pink Fibro said...

I don't cry often, but I have to say that I do feel better when I do. Spent. Don't be afraid to let your kids see that it's okay to cry sometimes. You'll all feel better for it.

Thanks for popping by the Fibro.

Just Me said...

@Jewely Bug you said a mouthful! ONE BIG GIANT QUESTION MARK

@life in a pink fibro- I have to start letting my guard down huh?

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