Self-Care is not selfish

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

(photo credit lulumon athleta)
Moms and women as a whole are typically very quick to jump to help others but not so fast to take time for themselves.

There is a prevailing belief that taking care of ones-self is selfish and not to be done.

Well that is a pile of crap. Especially when women then whine and complain about burnout. I get it though. This has been me, so so many times.

I have had to learn, painfully, and slowly, that self care is not selfish. Self care is necessary. If I do not take the time to care for myself everyone suffers.

When I get burned out I get crabby and snappy and generally just mean.

Until recently my time was pole dancing. As that is not possible now, I had to go through a meltdown to again realize that I needed to take a time to invest in myself.

So for the past three weeks I have been 'investing' in my personal needs by participating in The Daily Method Classes.

Yes, I have to take time away from my kids. I even leave the kids in the care of a non-family member (gasp) but I need to (this is one of the best things about The Daily Method- the childcare room onsite). I am refreshed. Stress is released from my muscles via the work out. I get to see other adults! I get to talk in sentences! Yay!

Personally, I know so many women who fall into this trap- the women/mother/martyr. If a class is unattainable ask someone for a babysitting swap, I would be all over that, and I often am!

As women though, we have got to stop it. We have got to stop putting everyone before ourselves. We have got to start investing in ourselves. We have got to care about ourselves and take care of ourselves, if for no other reason, than we will then be able to care for others better.


american in norway said...

So true... I totally agree with you... Only wish I understood how important this was sooner! :-) Better late than never. Popping by from SITS

Brianna Storch said...

I second everything you wrote! When my son was a wee little baby, my whole focus was on him and while I knew that I wasn't exactly focusing on myself I still thought I looked fine at the time. I look back on those photos NOW and I'm shocked I even let myself get to that point. Bland hair, no makeup, super casual non-form fitting clothes. I look like I was next in line for the TLC show "How Do I Look"!!!
I still give a lot of attention to my son, but now I keep my hair maintained (learned to do it myself to save money), paint my nails, and wear pretty makeup and dresses whenever I can. Plus I no longer need an anti-depressant.
I don't even leave the house without mascara and while some might say it's vanity, for me it's more about holding myself to a higher standard. It would be so easily to fall into those old familiar shoes but I refuse to get into that slump (which also affected my depression) again. It can be a pain sometimes when all I want to do is be lazy but it affects my entire outlook and by the end of any day I am feeling 10 times better than the "old me" ever used to feel on a good day.

*Stopping by from SITS*

Pam said...

I am another who has discovered that a little late, but still discovered it. Your whole family will benefit in many ways if mom takes care of herself. I have been feeling MUCH better about myself lately. And always remember, "If mama aint happy, aint nobody happy!" Stopped by from SITS.

Just Me said...

@brianna you are a few steps ahead of my I am lucky to smear on some tinted moisturizer! But I totally get what you are saying ;)Thanks for coming by!

Just Me said...

@pam totally agree!

Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud said...

I've been guilty of putting everyone else first in the past and never making time for myself. It left me ragged, tired and in a foul mood. Things have changed around here in the last few months. I'm taking time out of my day to do the things I love and to care for my body as well. And you know? It feels really good. :)
Thanks again for stopping by on my SITS Day a few days ago. Hope you're having a great weekend!

Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud said...

Whoops! Forgot to mention that I'm following you now via GFC. :)

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