There are some parenting conundrums

I'll never understand...one of them is the draw of things that are 'out of bounds'. Peas- the baby as the others before her are drawn to the wonders that are contained in the dog bowls from splashing in the water to eating pieces of kibble. I spend a a large portion of my time fishing her out of the bowls and fine tuning my finger sweep technique to remove errant pieces of dog food. I used to be much more concerned about her consumption of dog food...now that she has teeth....if she eats one..she eats one.

She is not the first to have the obsession with the dog bowls. Princess then Stinky Rooster all in their own turn were intrigued by the mystery of kibble. There are times when I still pluck Stinky Rooster out of the dog food.

Also the stairs seem to have some draw. Stinky Rooster also had a strange fascination with the stairs. why? who knows but I pluck the baby off the stairs more times a day than I can count.
She is pretty reliable going up the stairs it is down that presents the challenge. But we are working on that...hopefully soon proficiency will be achieved.

But why the draw? What is the magical appeal?

headaches

I have been having awful headaches headaches that make me nauseated seriously impacted what I was able to do. These headaches made/make me less of a mother than I want to be. So I asked my doctor about them. I kept a headache diary..I rated them tracked all of it.

His answer: they sound stress/grief related. Fantastic. I am stressed out and grieving.

What is active grieving specifically???what is next passive grief? is that like passive aggressive behavior? Then what? I don't understand. great here comes another headache

Hi there!!!

Hey if you are reading this ...Say 'Hi!' tell me about yourself...please??

since I defined what I do not like I probably should talk about what I do like

this is a photo of one of the best toys a door hanging puppet theatre. I have seen more shows than I can count via this...did you know that a dragon makes and excellent Mr. Darcy??


Toys:

Play Silks these are great. It can be anything a cape, wings, blanket, possibilities are endless they are fantastic...pricey but fantastic.

Color Wonder Products- to quote a wise woman: "they were invented by God" only God could create something so amazing and miraculous. Seriously if you have ever struggled to get 'washable' marker or 'washable' paint off of a child or furniture these are for you.

Haba toys- they can stand up to my kids destruction...that says a lot

I do not know the name of it but is is paper that has a black covering and you scratch off the black and the colors are underneath it... drawing in reverse.

Sprout- 24 hours of PBS kids...to minimize guilt when I really need a few minutes to chill.

hmmm I know there are more toys that I really like but I am drawing a blank

Products:

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser amazing....it is my go to thing...also miraculous as far as I am concerned.

OxyClean- Stains be gone!!! I have three kids...stains are a daily sometimes hourly occurrence I like this.

A few other things that are not PG

My Last First Date

B and my first date was nothing specially planned....like a lot of our relationship we just kind of went with it.

I was early- my vet moved up my dogs appointment. So I called to see if he could get together earlier...this was not a dinner date or even a cocktail date. So we met and went to portillos of all places. Portillos...yes the man I would marry and father my three children took me to Portillos on our first date.

Then we went to the mall to walk around. We had originally wanted to do something outside but a heavy downpour changed that and it had gotten considerably cooler....by a lot. We went to Starbucks and chatted some more.

The entire time I kept wanting him to hold my hand or somehow touch me. I not so subltly hinted at that by holding my purse in my outside hand leaving my hand nearest to him for him to hold..no luck. When later asked about this he had no clue.. boys....

Neither of us wanted to end the date so we went to his eye doctor. yes on a first date we went to his eye doctor to get his contacts. Then back to his house...where he lived with his parents brothers and sister. That was great...ok well the opposite of great.

Somehow we ended up ticking each other and I kissed him..not lips but next to them. Again B missed the boat. Then a few minutes he kissed me. I melted. Best first kiss. Last first kiss. A great way to end an era of first kisses huh?

Not the greatest of first dates but it suited. and I fell in love. it was over.

toys I hate

there are a few toys that I genuinely dislike. Barbies, Bratz, generally noisy battery operated crap, I prefer more creative exploration oriented toys with the exception of playdoh. I hate playdoh.

It gets EVERYWHERE dries and crusts and is just icky. I do not like it, Sam I am. It is a great idea.....in theory....it is tactile, textured involves imagination etc. But I do not like it.

Today while I was cleaning up breakfast the kids were playing downstairs and not arguing (always a bad sign)...I went down and they had stuck playdoh to the walls along with stickers....and it was now ground into the rug. EVEN BETTER!!!!!

The colors were all muddied. No separating them, My vote use salt dough instead. less chemical crap, fun to make and play with then bake your creations and paint them

I am part of an entourage

I have a claim to fame...at least in baby, toddler, preschooler circles!

Sure there are no rockin' parties, cool clubs, galleries, travel anything like that...but I get to schlep strollers, carriers, KleanKanteens, snacks, sunscreen, diapers, hats, extra clothes, toys, and half a dozen other things.

My job is to try and anticipate needs before they happen....thirsty? here is water. Hungary? How about some hummus, fell into a pond? no worries here are clothes.

But I get some pretty cool benefits. Kids running to me for snacks or water or the content snoring of a baby on my back...that is way cooler than any new gadget or toy.

a magical place

It is like Disneyland with fewer giant mice and other creatures.
It is the Arboretum. There is a pond with stepping stones, rope spider webs, tree root slides, tree houses that foster fairies and imagination.

It was spectacular watching the children step from stone to stone dipping their toes into the frigid water...and occasionally falling in... Watching and listening to the play world that they immersed themselves in was fabulous.

Peas had a delightful time dipping her toes into the water. Princess stretched her legs and her muscles as she climbed into the tree houses. Stinky rooster practiced his balance and challenged his little legs to stretch and jump. Then they and their friends moved stones around to make house house for gnomes.

fantastic

9 and a half months

a lot can happen in 9 months. you can have a baby you can grow a few inches, have several holidays. You can learn a language, advance a grade..or you can learn a new perspective.

It has been 9.5 months since B's injury that changed my perspective. A simple slip and fall (on apparatus) that started a cascade of events that can not be undone.

Baby Kisses

There are a few things that I look forward to in parenting more than the kids reassuring me themselves that I am doing an okay job of this.

It comes in the strangest ways: Stinky hugging and kissing me telling me he'll take care of me when I am sad or sick, Princess looking out for her siblings, now Peas kisses. She throws herself into me wraps her arms around me and kisses.

These are not neat little check pecks these are open mouth giggle infused head bonks that are the essence of her love and affection- the love and affection that we have showered on her reflected back.

So thank goodness for Peas kisses

The Alchemist

This was an awesome book by Paulo Coelho. How do I know it was such an incredible book? Because I read it a month ago and am still thinking about it and am considering buying it. Not on my Kindle an actual hard copy.

When you are on the right path things start coming together. This is not the way it was phrased in the book; it was done ever so more eloquently- but that was a message. A rather overt one...not one of the underlying themes but this one struck me. It was the right time for me to pick up that book. I needed it. At that point I had been floundering in my life.- treading water. Looking for my path. Whatever. I found my way by following the 'signs'. I am still finding my way no destination yet but I am on the path.

The story is about a Spanish Shepard who wanted to marry a towns woman whom he believed to be above him. He set out in search of his treasure to make himself worthy. His search led him through Africa to Egypt and then back to Spain- right where he started. The geography chosen was particularly interesting be cause given the setting (time wise) it was rather acrimonious between the Christians of Spain and the Moors of northern Africa and the nomadic people. The idea that at the Oasis they did not use any weapons but lived in peace and the Moors of northern Africa accepted him as he was despite their difference in creeds was astounding.

My hero

My husband since the day I have met him. cliche? yes. He will always be the most amazing man that I could have ever dreamed of. He put up with me at my worst and has always asked me to be better. To be a better woman, mother, wife. I do not know that with out him I could have ever made it though some of the shit that I have.

Selfless. Loving, generous, sweet (sometimes in his own crazy way), he is my heart, there is not a day that I do not think about him.

He would never let me escape, run, when things got tough. When I would prefer to do the ostrich thing and bury my head in the sand he would pull me out and make me face things, behind me, next to me.

I love him always have always will

if one is good than three is better

that is apparently my son's opinion on underwear. He has accomplished the Herculean feat of potty training. It was decidedly less traumatic than Princess's foray into the potty.

However now there is yet another article of clothing to be chosen and donned every morning (or early afternoon, whenever I get to it). Typically his tastes range from Lightening McQueen ('McQueen' in our house--also a generic term for all things "CARS") to Thomas (of Thomas the Tank Engine (thomas is also a generic title bestowed upon choo-choo's in general).

So anyhow it was time to get dressed. Usually I let the kids pick out their own clothes with minimal guidance. My suggestions usually are limited to weather appropriate attire-meaning that I typically advise against a tank top when there are 2 feet of snow...and as the parents of Princess's classmates cam attest they have interesting fashion sense...again I got distracted....sorry... So Stinky Rooster decided that he wanted to wear all three pairs of his brand new underpants. Three pairs of little boy's briefs... I considered it...and it was one of the less odd requests that I have received so three pairs he wore-- and struggled to pull down and up all day...but he was so very proud of himself.

Right now

I am patently aware that I do not know if I can do this. This parenting solo thing. Logically. everything that I am dealing with here is a stage and will pass. Emotionally I want to yell. I want to scream things that are unkind and not appreciative of what I have.

Peas is walking and falling...and falling...she is enjoying her new found independence. I am exhausted by it. She trips into things and wails -her cry sends a chill up my spine.

Princess is four and acting like it. All of it is part of the process. I do not know how to explain things. No idea.

Stinky rooster is refusing to sleep and being very stubborn. Part of being 2. I get it.

This is not to say I am not incredibly grateful for them. I am so grateful that my children are here and healthy and I can be here with them and provide them with love and care. There are days when I am rockin' the mom thing- and feel good about it. Today is not one of those days. I feel like a hamster on a wheel or a merry-go-round-moving but getting no where.

So what did I do my my 'relaxing' night home?

did I have
a) really great sex (a girl can dream right??)
b) nurse the baby until I was dehydrated
c) taxes
d) knit
e) chase a dog around the neighborhood at 1:00 am?

D and A are very incorrect. But both would have been much more useful to relaxing.
I spent my time from 1 am until 1:30 am chasing the Husky around the neighborhood...fucking dog. I love her. But damn.

Peas nursed like she had never seen me before. Lots of water later I feel better
And seriously US federal government....soooo over the taxes. not cool. not cool at all.

happy belated birthday peas!!!!!

The above photos are courtesy of Jenni at Lion's Roar Media a fantastic fun friend and an amazing photographer!!!

It is amazing all of the crazy things that have happened in the past 12 months! All that she has brought to my life she brought me something I did not even know was missing.
She is my girl that is full of life!

Spring in Chicago

So we hae had a run of decent days here (followed of course by torrential rain, but that is neither here nor there) We went outside the other day and one of the first things out of Stinky Rooster's (I acquiesced) mouth was 'the heater is on' In a manner of speaking...it was on. It was mid 60's. I went outside barefoot and did not freeze a toe off.
I told a friend this and she commented that the 'heater' would be broken in July and August.

Perspective is a funny thing. To me the 50's or 60's are fantastic after a long winter. After days when getting above 0 was 'warm' and it 'heatwave' temperatures in the teens days of 40's are pretty darn nice. Talk to me again in July when 60's will seem utterly frigid

Tears

why can I not cry?? There seems to be something that is preventing me from crying these days even though I desperately want and need to.. I cannot seem to get that relief. I would love the release short lived though it may be of a few tears. truth be told I have not ever been a crier. I have been a bury it and move on. Now my emotional landfill seems to be overflowing and I am barricaded from doing anything with it. I become irritable and snippy and take it out on people who do not deserve it. I would love to just sit and let tears flow why can't I?? Why? Tense. Tired. all of it but no more tears. Why??

no that is not a hicky on my neck

it is marker. I swear. I had some interesting looks dropping Princess off at school especially after the encounter of last week. So lo and behold after arriving at home I notice that in a very strategic area of my neck there is some blue kind of smeared around a bit. I burst out laughing realizing what the other parents were staring at and trying to ignore like a large piece of spinach in one's teeth.

First of all who would give me a hicky?? Come on now. But it was funny. I swear it is just marker.

Accidentally High

As I adjust my halo I'll say that I have NEVER done illegal drugs or used drugs improperly. I would not know where to get drugs if I was ever so inclined.

Yesterday I had a massive headache. Seriously wretched. I thought I had some left over ibuprofen 800 from having Peas so I figured I would take that to at least take the edge off. Mind you after delivering all three of my children the most I took was an extra strength acetaminophen...so I went to the bathroom not looking at the packet and took one. I did not think another thing of it. It did take care of my headache. Really Really quickly and entirely. It was great. A bit later I started to feel really tired and really slap happy. Again never thought anything of it.

Later it was pointed out to me that what I thought was ib 800 was actually Tylenol with codeine. huh. well that explains it. I should be grateful I had already returned from my errands for the day and did not endanger anyone.

March 4 2009

Nothing of any importance just a fun day. We met a friend and her new beautiful baby- helped her use a ring sling, then went to our favorite toy store ever.

Gepetto's Toy Box in Oak Park is as far as my children are concerned the best place in the world (okay, I like it too- they have the best toys). Stinky loves the Thomas layout Princess loves the dollhouse. Peas loves the stuffed animals. The toys there are the toys that I feel good about giving and getting. They encourage imagination. Watching my children use their imagination to play is like a window into another world. A world where there are princesses, fairies, talking trains, castles all of the wonders of childhood. It makes me happy.

I also found another carrier that I want. I would love a BabyHawk. It was more comfortable than I had anticpated and very pretty...just need to sell something to buy one. Carriers are my purses or shoes. Pretty, fun, and useful. Youd would not catch me spending $400 on a bag, but $200 on a carrier is within the realm of possible.

Today will be another nice day... Time to play outside!

Tattle Tale

I am so over, and I mean SOOOOO over the tattle phase. Frequently through out the day I am informed that 'Stinky is..." followed by something. Most recently it was 'Is he supposed to have a potato chip???' ughhh I need to learn how to impress upon her there are somethings that are 'tattle taling' and somethings I genuinely need to know about.

the other current issue is manipulation. she tricks him into things. He follows blindly. It makes me so angry for him. She is very smart. He is very sweet. Perfect match no??

Don't get me wrong Stinky does his fair share of pushing too. Following directions is not particularly a strong suit of his. He is at the two year old stage where testing limits is what he does best.

Cue the Calvary

This is a delayed post. I needed to emotionally recover before I posted about the fun that was last Thursday.

Thursday Princess has school. School is a bit difficult because Stinky 'misses his princess' and is not thrilled to be with out her. It was also raining a lot.

Anyway. Our basement floods when it rains a lot. 12 hours of rain at a fairly steady pace qualify as a lot. So...the flooding started. My mother was there. Which was great actually because I needed the help to keep track of kids while I started the shop vac process. Unfortunately the water was coming in faster than the shop vacs could suck it out.... it was a loosing battle. But like James Paul Jones "I have not yet begun to fight!!". So I called in the Calvary. UT. I called and begged...okay demanded. In my best mom no nonsense voice informed him that I needed help.... sandbags actually... and he came...I swear I heard the bugle charge when he pulled up... through the pouring rain I heard him come. Anyway. The basement is dry.. the 70 lb sandbag is still in the middle of it but it is dry.

Do you ever

Have you ever loved someone so much that it physically hurts?? My family is that way to me. I adore them. Adore them. I need them. Absolutely I have to have them even when they can be annoying. They are everything to me.