Flying With A Toddler

A friend was getting married in Denver. We had to go. After much research and feeling very overwhelmed trying to get a good price on airfare, car, hotel I booked it.

The flight left at 7 am. Which meant that I had to leave my house at 4, up at 3. So reasonably, I decided to just not go to bed.

I had gotten myself all worried about making it through security: shoes off, everything, in bins etc. Getting everything back put together. It wasn't bad.

Boarding was my next concern. Getting seated and situated. Again that went pretty smoothly.

Of course I was concerned about screaming and temper tantrums etc.... However, Pixie did phenomenally. It was her first flight so I was concerned about how she would handle everything. She did remarkably well. Even though I woke her up obscenely early and she was exhausted she was very very nice.

All in all, a good flight. Now we just have to get home.

Presenting: The Graduate

From preschool.

Stinky graduated from the best preschool ever on Wednesday. Despite the weather being wretched he performed with his class and sang and danced.

Honestly, there was a bit there that I did not know if we would make it to his ceremony the weather was so so terrible. But we did.

The kids entered performed a few songs, a dance, and a poem before receiving their diploma and getting to have ice cream.

I have I mentioned that this is the greatest school ever? The kids love it. Their learning is play and curiosity driven. There is outside time for the kids all of the time. There is an apple orchard and a sledding hill and just a sense of love that abounds.

Each child received a 3-ring binder filled with some of the projects that the kids did as well as photos that were snapped through the year. I will treasure that.

What makes this school so special is not state of the art anything. It is the joy, and curiosity, the genuine appreciation of G-d's gifts, and the love.

The kids are loved as they are. They are treasured and urged to follow their hearts and their curiosity.

The parents are pretty awesome too- all the parents love the kids and take an active role in the school and the kids daily lives.

I am so thrilled my family has been able to experience it. I can't wait for Peas to attend next year.

Class Sucked The Other Night

Yep- I never thought I would say it again. Class sucked.

A girl in my class was injured when she was learning a new trick. She broke a bone and it looked very painful.

Like the last time that someone was injured in class- we all were very worried about her and rushed to get her to the ER and followed up with nervous texts to make sure she was ok.

She will require some time off to recover- but she will recover.

Pole dancing- like most sports carries some inherent risk of injury. The incident was no one's fault, just dumb luck.

After she was injured we as a group had a hard time re-focusing. Our thoughts were on our friend not our poles. Which speaks to the sisterhood and bond that we have.

I adore the girls that I dance with. I have said before that the time at the studio is my time. My time with girls to giggle and and laugh and exercise. When a girl is missing we all miss it.. We all feed into each other and draw from the others' energy.

My friend will be missed. In the time she is recovering- I hope to get together with her for a drink or two.

Princess is 7

Well- we survived the NICU, the newborn days, the milestones, learning to walk, learning to talk, potty training, the terrible 2's, the unbelievable 3's, siblings arrival, loss, joy, and a million other twist on the road of life. We have made it. Intact (mostly).

As she moves from little kid years, to big kid, then tween years... I have watched her personality emerge from a gregarious kid with a fabulous smile, to a two year old with a will of iron, now to a big kid learning about the world and all of its complexities.

There are somethings that I do not talk with her about. For instance- this morning she saw a photo of Casey Anthony in the paper, and she asked about it. I could not bring myself to tell her the whole story. Instead, I told her that she may have done something very wrong and now the judge, jury, and lawyers were going to figure it out. A few years ago she would have asked if Ms. Anthony would get a time out. Now she asked if she was going to prison.

But she knows a lot. She picks up on a lot. She sees the subtext in things that a lot of adults miss.

Princess is fantastic to watch as she grows. I can't wait to see what the next year will bring.

Research....

I was asked to write a about an event in American History. When I was offered the project, I did not know what, specifically.

After accepting the project, I learned the topic was the Columbine Massacre. This is really hard.

Age-wise I would have been classmates with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.

In Utah, some of the girls knew the boys... or at least knew of them.

All I can think about is how it happened in my perspective. Of all of the memories I have- this is one of the most clear. More clear than being told I was going home even.

This was a generational tragedy. The first tragedy that was widely covered by eyewitnesses on cell phones.

As a student- this shook me. As a pacifist this scared me. Now as a mother, this terrifies me.

I am glad that my kids are with me everyday. I am glad I am teaching them to honor and accept themselves.

More over I am sad. So so sad that this happened. So unable to address the enormity of what happened... what ever I say will not do justice to the reality.

As a person of faith I take comfort in knowing that G-d is looking after them. But that does not help the "why" or the loss or the tragedy.

How can I write about something that brings me back to being a kid- to watching it?

babysitters!

Finding babysitters is the bane of my existence... one of them anyway.

Asking the right questions is key, but I get tongue tied and have no idea what to say. I worry about asking the wrong things and offending the sitter. I worry about not asking enough, about asking too much, about well everything.

So I take the easy way out and borrow other friends sitters. I really hope I do not offend my friends, and I am certainly not trying to "sitter poach". I use sitters pretty rarely as the entire thing stresses me out so much.

We have one sitter who has become more of a friend than anything. The kids adore her, and I think she is great. We were super bummed when she went to college but we still get to see her on vacations.

My kids are picky about sitters, and they love her, they have a great time with her- I can say, "hey... she's coming over!" and their noses are plastered to the windows looking for her. When she arrives, they hardly notice when I am leaving- they are more annoyed when I return...

So we have been blessed. And good sitters do exist.

I Have A New Bible

... and I am only kind of kidding.

If you know my family you know that my kids are the very definition of spirited. For that matter- I have several traits that are characteristic of spirited people (who am I kidding- that book could have been written about me).

I got the book and started reading in an attempt at working with my kids. The book had be cracking up with laughter over so many things... the anecdotes reported about kids were things that I have been through almost exactly- or things that I put my parents through... on in particular caught my eye:

To paraphrase a kid told his parent it was not sunny outside.. (it was). The parent thought the child had lost his mind, and said that the sun clearly was shining. The parent and the child debated the sun shining or not shining fact for a few minutes. Finally, the kids said that the sun may be shining there- but it was not shining in China.

(I think I had that same debate yesterday)

Spirited kids are amazingly fun and amazingly joyful. They are also amazingly a lot. of everything.

Peas takes spirited to a new degree- one that I am not sure has ever been recorded. I have often said that she is intense, and that is exactly what spirited kids are. Everything has an intensity and an urgency to it... for a parent this is exhausting, especially with three other spirited kids to raise.

This book though gives me new perspective and helps me to understand myself better as well as the kids. So hopefully, we can learn to work better together.

7 is a lucky number

Tuesday Princess will be turning 7. I remember when she was turning 1- it does not seem like 6 whole years ago, but somehow it is. The saying is true, "the days are long but the years are short".

This birthday I am having a hard time with. 7 seems so old. So grown-up so big, so independent. It is sad you know? That good parenting is essentially working yourself out of a job.

7 just seems like she is so big even though 7 is not that much older than 6. There are no key responsibilities that come along with being 7- she does not get to drive, to vote, or to drink- and yet to me- 7 is a darn big deal.

In 7 years our lives have changed a lot. But where we are now is pretty good. Looking back- this journey has been so transforming. I am so blessed that G-d chose me to be her mama. Princess has been an amazing gift that I continue to be thankful for everyday.

A love affair

I am in love. I have been for a long time. It seems like forever really. My heart races, my pupils dilate, my breath quickens...no. come on. not that kind of love affair... really?? who has the time. Not this girl.

This is over books. Yes. Books.. the kind with spines that crack a little when you open them. The kind that have a hint of a musty aroma.

I went to the library today. It was a rare time when I only had one child with me. So I was able to go to the big peoples section as well as the kids section.

There is something romantic and magical about a library. So much brilliance in one building. The thoughts tracking the evolution of thoughts of beliefs. So much knowledge, so much history... it is humbling.

I can spend all day wandering in the library, and I almost always find a new subject that peaks my interest.

Even the children's section is awesome. I can remember many nights spent in the library. I can remember more about my childhood by remembering the books I read. The Saddle Club, The Babysitters Club, Sweet Valley Twins, The Thoroughbred Series, and more.... I can even remember being in preschool and getting WordBird books.

Yup. I am a booknerd.

Tire Irons + Laptops = Not Good

Seven years ago I never would have noticed if my laptop was getting fixed I never would have noticed it because well I did not have one.

But now, I missed it. It was like missing part of me.

My laptop had an unfortunate run in with a tire iron on the floor of a car. The case broke, the hinges broke. My computer had to go to the computer hospital. I sent it off.

It took forever. Months! maybe not months but it sure seemed like it. In reality, it took a week. But it was a loooonnggg week.

Now my computer is back. I have been re-united with my other half.

Bridge to Brownies

Princess has bridged to Brownies. It was epic. I think I was more excited than she was but not by much.

Brownies was such a great time. I have great memories of some of the fun things that we learned and some of the best times on camp outs and times at ranches in the summer.

I hope that she loves it as much as I did. I hope that learns about herself- her heart and learns to honor it and follow it.

This last year

This last year has been a challenge.

I had numerous procedures and surgeries. Heck, I have a favorite nurse at the hospital who is now my online buddy, it is a little weird.

A few broken bones later, a few surgeries, a few infections and hospital stays, numerous tragedies.. I am still here. Still ready to take on the next thing thrown my way.

If I did not have some of the best friends ever I could not have made it. If I did not have some of the best family ever there is no way that I could have done it.

Without Tease, I could not have done it. In my life, it is really easy to feel overwhelmed. It is easy to feel like I am sinking. Tease has kept me afloat in so so many ways.

I went to my Tease nights even when I could not fully participate because I needed the haven. I needed to be in a place that was healthy for me as a whole person. I needed to feel like I could check all of my baggage at the door and just play.

It has been a hard year. It has been an incredible year. I can feel like I am flying around a pole and come home and take care of my kids renewed.

Thank you for supporting me friends, family and readers. Thank you for everything Tease- tomorrow night cannot come soon enough.

Do Stop Signs Mean Anything?

Are the ones outlined in white optional? They sure seem to be around here!

When I was a kid and learning to ride my bike in the street, I was taught that one was supposed to signal- using standardized hand signals, obey traffic rules (including stopping at stop signs, red lights etc... )

If that is the case- everyone is to stop at stop signs, why then do they give me dirty nasty looks when I honk at them?

I am all for biking. Really. I am also all for safety and not giving this poor mama a heart attack.

Is there a polite way to remind cyclists to stop?

well that is timing- for tea!

The other day I posted about how Peas loves to be pretty and then I opened my email box to find an email from a site that features girls dresses. I know, a dime a dozen right? This one is especially cute.

So many stores feature dresses verging on inappropriate for little girls. This site offers pretty classic outfits that I think are adorable; even Peas will approve of (and lets be honest, her opinion matters more than mine does)

"Pity"

"Pity" = "Pretty" in Peas.

She is decidedly a girly girl who loves to be pretty. When princess was a 3 year old she pretty much never asked to get her nails painted.. Peas has a selection of polishes to chose from. All of which meat her requirements for "pretty".

My little lady does not like pants at all, even underwear can be a debate. She likes dresses.

Our neighbor gave us some hand-me-down really really pretty dresses- that were expensive. Peas thinks they are play clothes. In her mind- the prettier- the better.

So I have photos of her using sidewalk chalk in a sleeveless red satin dress and having a fantastic time. Whats the harm? It makes her happy, she has fun, and best yet? There is the one price dry cleaners down the street.

Its good to be back

Watch out blogging world I am back! and better than ever.. Well maybe better- but well at least with a functional computer- and that is a step in the right direction.

I do not believe that I took this long off from blogging even when I was in the hospital recovering from surgery!

So what'd I miss?

Really? Too Honest?

The woman I wrote about in a previous post, struggling with her teenage son, started a blog. In her first and only post she discussed her feelings of desperation with her limited options.

Someone she knew read the blog and commented to her about how "desperate" she sounded and how she was blowing her response out of proportion, etc. The reader commented that the post was raw, and personal.

This all really bugged me. If you disagree with a blogger, fine. Disagree. Disagree with kindness and understanding. Especially, especially if the subject matter is emotional.

I really was proud of her for starting her blog. It is important to give a voice to feelings no matter how unpleasent they are. Especially- if they are unpleasent. It is vital to have a place to go to feel safe and just dump, just let it all go. It is also crucial to shed light on uncomfortable topics so they will no longer be stigmatized.

If the stigma is removed or at least lessened then more people may be willing to seek help for themselves or their family without fear of judgement this benefits everyone.