Pictures from the big day

Stinky at Buckingham Fountain
Millennium Park
Millennium Park
'The Bean'
More Millennium park



I will preface this by saying I am really not a good photographer. Nor am I good at remembering to pull out my camera to commemorate important events: library card, entrance to the Taste, American Girl Place.... But I did manage to get a few snap shots.

So Grown-Up

Today was a huge day. Train ride, Taste of Chicago, American Girl Place.... Seeing Papa...but the true highlight? Library. Getting Princess her first library card.

She is official now. She is getting so grown up. How did that happen? The rules of the library are that children have to be five years old before they can get their first card.

She was thrilled. Absolutely thrilled. She carried her card with her like it was her prized possession. They also gave her a sticker to commemorate the occasion. Wow. Now to keep track of the darn thing- I give it three weeks before she loses it.

Prayers for patience

I pray. Sometimes it is concentrated time on my own devoting myself to engaging in G-d's love. Sometimes it is more or less 'please give me strength/guidance/patience. Please do not let me strangle my mother in law, children, etc'

One thing I have noticed is the more I pray for patience the more I am given opportunities that challenge the patience store that I have. Annoying right? Until it was pointed out that patience is a skill and to have it and get good at it sometimes practice is necessary. Practice, Practice, Practice right?? Maybe I should embrace the chances I get to learn and develop my patience.

then again maybe I should stop praying for patience

A very long overdue commentary.

May 30th was Princess's "Princess Party Spectacular"...yes I am sorry it is over due.

Somehow it was not shocking when Princess requested a princess themed party. It was more or less a forgone conclusion. I stressed and worried....would anyone come? Would people have fun? What if I ran out of things to do? I was running through the "Worst Case Scenario Playbook" for kids birthday parties in my head- it was not pretty.

So we trucked to the party store- ordered balloons, picked out decorations and favors and left the store about $150 lighter..who said kids parties were cheap?

Then to the craft store to pick up supplies for activities....again emerge substantially lighter.

The night before the party I got to decorate 50 yards of tulle, princess pictures, balloons, all sorts of royal regalia....the room was ready.

This time I remembered to bake the cake.

As the guests arrived I was a little concerned as to what to have them do while waiting for the other girls to arrive...me a planner? NEVER!

So I had them decorate their tiaras.... When the rest of the princesses arrived they made their ribbon wands--- As a note glue will not make ribbons stick to wood- knots work better.

Next was pizza and sparkling grape juice. They loved that. Pizza is a hit with the five year old crowd.

Then we played stick the slipper on Cinderella- either the girls were the best at this game ever or I may have had a few sneaky ones. Either way it was fun and the girls had a heck of a laugh.

Through this I tried to get a few pictures of the princesses--- but Stinky decided to don his dragon hat and chase the girls around- which was adorable.

Cake and ice cream came next and it was the setting for a truly royal meltdown. Princess became a princess but not the loving gracious kind the more entitled kind. One way or another she settled-after being threatened with exile or banishment.

It was just long enough. Any longer and I would have been totally overwhelmed.

Learned Something

Today again we spent the day outside at the splash park....again awesome fun.

I feel so guilty though....Peas got a little pink. Just a little but I feel so guilty. I do not want this to affect her....I do not want her to get skin cancer (yes I am being dramatic).

One woman I met today has such strength and grace. One of her children had PKU..something that admittedly I know very very little about. But the time and knowledge that it appears to take to manage is overwhelming to me. Weighing food, measuring- watching to make sure nothing unmeasured unapproved..anyway she handled it like it was nothing. Knowing nutritional information in different foods...managing his condition to give him the best life possible. Now I am certain that any mother would do the same but thinking about the stress of it just makes me itchy.
So hats off to you parents who manage chronic conditions- you have amazing strength

creases and tan lines

Since it has been lovely and hot we have been outside a lot...pool, splash park, sprinkler, yard you name it....

Last night I noticed that Peas has tan lines around where her little baby chub creases it is adorable- and yes I do use sunscreen on them all the time- but when you are outside for 10 hours in sunny weather- tans are somewhat inevitable.

Princess has tan lines from her bathing suits and Stinky said the funniest thing to me at the pool the other day- 'look mama my arms are all brown!' for those who have not met Stinky- he is so fair if he were any more fair he would be transparent-- his hair pretty much is transparent.

Anyway- the wonder of summer! Love it.

Hurt

What do you do when a family member (in-law) does something that deeply hurts and offends you and you feel completely alone in that?

I can't (well I could but I do not want to involve the children in the squabble but what am I to do when I alternately want to scream and yell at her or cry bitter tears?

Things have never been fantastic between us but we had reached a stasis in out-right hostility but now...now this brings back so much resentment and hurt that part of me longs to lash out at her and hurt her (admittedly not the healthiest of solutions)

It is not like I can talk to her and explain that she hurt me and I am sad and angry...and alone. Oh so alone.

Maybe the part that hurts me the most is it is a slight not only against me but against my children and that is out of bounds not okay. What am I supposed to do?

Mosquito Bites My Butt

That should read Mosquito bites on my butt. For some reason that must be the tastiest part of my...maybe, shall I dare say it?, have a sweet ass- which works unless mosquitoes prefer a salty flavor more like bacon- given my weight at the moment this comment could also be appropriate.

Whatever- Every summer I get them there. and they itch. A lot. They are hard not to scratch. If you see me walking around scratching my tushie please remember that I currently I have quite a few bites there.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all of the dedicated fathers. Please know that you are loved and valued.

B s absent- of course- and he is missed (ya think?) I miss him so much. It makes me value the time so much more.

Thank you to my dad. Thank you for supporting me even (especially) when I did not want you there or think that I needed you.

Thank you for making the choices that you did. I am sorry I put you in that position so many times. But thank you.

Thank you for having expectations that you kept raising.

The relationship I had with my dad as a little girl is irreplaceable. He and I were two peas in a pod- which may have led to some of our issues- but that relationship means so much to me. I am eternally grateful for the time on the front porch feeding Miss Meow, walking to Clark, playing catch, playing chess- my memories of my father are etched into my heart with love.

It has arrived!!!

It is about time!!! Summer has arrived in the Chicago suburbs. Today it was in the mid/upper 80's and sunny. It was fantastic.

True to form we had to have a few bad storms to clear the way for fantastic weather. Yesterday our day started with tornado sirens and ended with a power outage. Today went much better.

So to celebrate we went to the Splash Pad in a neighboring suburb. It was less crowded that I anticipated...but we were far from the only ones there.

The kids were thrilled to go I was thrilled to take them. It is known to us as the choo choo park as the 'theme' is a train/western desert-ish stuff.

Anyway it took a bit for the older two to acclimate to the sprinklers but soon enough they were running though the water and shrieking.

Peas was more enthusiastic than I had expected. She walked up to the little fountains and very lady like- stuck her toe in- then sat down on it. She then toddled off at full tilt to play in the other fountains.

Stinky- train crazed- spent the first hour on the train pretending to drive/ride/ anything on the train. Then he was running laps/circles around the sprinklers enjoying the fun that hot days and water make.

Princess- Played on the train and shockingly-braved the buckets--- buckets that fill with water and dump on the victim.

Maybe we'll be dry tomorrow- then again maybe not- I think maybe a pool day is in order

Why would you do this??

I couldn't post about this right away I was too upset- I have had time to calm down a bit but am still pretty upset by this.

Last week about two blocks away from my home a newborn baby was abandon in someone's yard.

I do not understand this. I have tried but I don't get how anyone could think this would be a good way to resolve not wanting a baby. In Illinois we are blessed with a 'Safe Haven' law that dictates a newborn less than 72 hours old may be abandoned with no repercussions to the mother at any ER, Police Department, or Fire Department. There is a fire department about 6 blocks from where the infant was left. Why not there? Ring the bell hand the baby over- no harm no foul- just leaving the baby in some random persons yard....why?

It also makes me angry for so many friends I know who have struggled and fought for their children either through adoption or infertility treatments. Why this woman who has no obvious thought or care for her baby...why does she get such a gift and so many others have to fight for it?

Assuming she was not one of the rare cases where she did not know she was pregnant- you do have some time to adjust to the idea of having a baby and making a plan- adoption- whatever. There are options.

The Lace Makers of Glenmara

I recently had an opportunity to read this book via MotherTalk. It piqued my interest on more than a literary level- it made me interested in my personal history as well.

The storIy was set in Glenmara, Ireland a small town in Ireland that fit with how I had imagined small communities in that country. The women who lived in the community and welcomed Kate a woman who had left the US after having her heart broken and went to Ireland to honor an agreement with her late mother and learn where she was going by learning where she was from; were not all immediately welcoming - they all had their baggage- their own crosses to bear- and that was refreshing- the reminder that no matter what things look like externally everyone has baggage- it was helpful to remember that judging harshly is often unfair to all involved.

There are a lot of 'side stories' that provide little vignettes into each womans life. These helped the story not only remain light hearted but also touch on so many deeper themes- from abuse to widowhood.

One of the 'lessons' is that pretty underwear heal so many wounds- marriages that have survived cancer, lonely widowhood, teenage parent issues, and broken hearts- all while reviving a local sluggish economy- while part of that is admittedly far fetched- it is a lesson that a lot of women knows- feeling pretty-feeling sexy-helps everything and no one has to know it can be a little secret- a fun secret. The camaraderie that grew from creating the pretty underwear helped all of the characters learn that they were not alone- even-especially when they felt it.

So I enjoyed the book. I will look for more from this author!

dancing in the rain

Inspired by a friends blog post about 'learning to dance in the rain' I was having a down day and a feeling less than optimal day however desperately sick of staring at the walls and tired of PBS we I made an executive decision to go outside and play in the rain. We did not last long...the rain was cold but it was fun it was enough lighten my mood and rinse away some of the gloom.

One of our sweet neighbor girls came out with us for a moment and mostly looked at us like we were insane, running around in pouring rain with no boots, umbrellas, rain coats, just screaming and laughing reveling in the moment of feeling alive in the joy that can be found even in the midst of a rainy day and the clean feeling that only rain can provide.

We lasted about five minutes before I got too cold. Even now Stinky is sitting beside me as I type this asking to go back out...and in a moment I will let him.

Princess again was acting like a princess- the wrong kind. the spoiled kind. She wanted a rain coat/umbrella/boots-- and she does not have them any more- and she was jealous and cried and fussed and is currently doing so in her room. I was going to order her a set but now...I think not. It is important to learn that sometimes she will not have everything that everyone else has.

Peas was confounded. Confused she ended up loving it. Puddles! Wet! Splashing! lots of fun! she liked looking at the 'dancing ladies' termed in my house...trying to catch them.

For five minutes respite it was great.

so frustrating

I actually thought about a post today. I mean thought it out so it would be somewhat cohesive. Sat down to write/type nada. cannot remember it at all. and now I am annoyed.

Anyway it was a busy day...lots of walking...lots of fun.

We happened to walk by a Claire's store and I casually asked if Princess wanted to get her ears pierced. She had them done when she was a a baby but for some reason we took the earrings out and they grew closed. It was more in jest than anything...because for so long she had been so opposed to getting her ears pierced....it was funny to see her reaction.....this time she said yes.

Well then. B wanted the girls ears pierced when they were little. Seeing that it was more important to him to get them done that it was to me to wait I gave in and let it happen. So into Claires we went and I let her pick her earrings pink crystals in 14K gold....she then sat so bravely for her ears to be pierced. I had a harder time then she did sweating dizzy etc... (yes I am a wimp) But she is now the proud owner of earrings again.

I have said it before

I'll say it again
GET OFF OF ME!
I understand my children need and crave affection. I understand the best way for them to get that is via snuggling/nursing.

But enough already. I have someone touching me ALL THE TIME. Mopping the floor Peas holds on to my pants and occasionally pants-s me. Blogging Stinky sits on my lap. Using the bathroom has turned into a spectator sport. I want to be alone. Alone with out having to hide. Alone with out having to lock doors.

I want to sleep and not have Peas hold my hair or Stinky burrowing.

Princess has out grown a lot of this but still she likes a good cuddle...and it is a lot more enjoyable to snuggle with her because she is not so demanding about it.

Also- I am not a large person. My lap is only so big. There is not always room for everyone at all times. I will be more than happy to dole out attention with the understanding that it does not have to be a battle to sit on me.

Purr Threrapy

My cats. Misty and Rosie. Midnight black and calico.
Each has a very distinct personality or kitty-ality. The cuddler and the hard to get chic. Both though have been through a lot with me. college- the ending and beginning of relationships- thi birth of all three of my children.

When B and I were dating Rosie escaped when we were on the way to the hospital for the first of many trips for pre-term labor. She was gone for a month. We made signs and put them up everywhere. B searched the neighborhood. We put her litter box outside to let her smell her way home, and we set food out. No avail. We did however find MANY MANY strays in the area. I had given up. Resigned myself to missing Rosie forever. When a neighbor called. Rosie was found. She was thin and scared. She had broken her nose and cut her ear. I was so happy to have her back. I set to work immediatly at helping her gain her weight back-which I have done a little too well as now she is decidedly fluffy.

Misty has not been so traumatized but she loves attention. She sneaks up next to you and noses you or taps with her paw to request attention and a pet.

The dogs are great- happy to greet you. Happy to play- excellent clean up after meal help. But cats bring something special and unique. A quiet or purring love and support a quiet way of keeping you warm on cold nights of being just silly enough with out over doing it.

So for all of you dog lovers. I get it. I love my dogs too. No one can run like them. No one can pick me up after a long day like them but the gentle support of cats is also very important.

allergies

It seems that Stinky and Peas have inherited my seasonal allergies. This royally sucks tushie.

Stinky will not take medicine. Will not. Refuses. Spits across the room or throws up. It is not just me or my poor skills in medicine giving- when we were at the ER for his febrile seizure a while ago he had to get suppositories because he spat the tylenol- you know the good tasting medicine- out. He also refused the pink bubble gum medicine for his ear infection. So successfully giving allergy medicine to him is something that I am still trying to figure out.

The point is that seeing the kids itchy-drippy-sneezey- and wheezy is really sad. I understand exactly how they feel right down to the swollen miserable eyes. Getting the two of them to take medicine even the decent tasting stuff is next to impossible-

In the fail column are:
Hiding it
Bribery
Force etc....
just letting them suffer (seriously it is so pitiful it breaks my heart)

any ideas aside from moving to Phoenix?

Playing house

Sometimes I do not feel like a grown-up. Especially around other moms. I feel like I am so much younger- and not good younger like irresponsible immature younger.
Some of the moms at preschool are so much more 'together' than I am and seem like 'real' moms. I feel sometimes like I am just pretending- playing a role.

Does anyone else ever feel like that? I am explaining this very poorly- forgive me- I may edit this later for clarification.

The point is I never feel like I am a grown-up just a kid playing dress up--- ugh. No idea how to say what I want to say

found out what I dislike about summer

After all winter of longing for warmer weather it has arrived. Not hot weather; just warm, comfortable.

However now I have figured out what I do not like about Chicago summers. Not the blistering heat or the wilting humidity... it is that I cannot be lazy with the groceries in January when I do my grocery runs if the kids are too much me when we return home and if I need to regroup before making the haul of the groceries in I can leave them in the car for a while and not worry about my milk spoiling.

I am behind I know it

I have a ton to update on like Princess's first birthday party solely for kids, the rain, more rain, wondering when it will get hot here....and oh yeah a party of some sort.

Anyway-

Today I had a not so great surprise. I got through half of the day thinking it was Wednesday not Tuesday. I only realized it when I texted a friend about plans that I realized that it was not Wednesday...then I felt like an ass. I was not happy. I know I am blonde and occasionally act it but several hours into the day you think I would have noticed...but nope. I was blissfully unaware of the fact that it was Tuesday.

So I made a fool of myself today. To quote of the kids favorite shows -ok maybe not quote but the gist of it is 'never let a thing like total and complete humiliation stand in the way of something...' Well I didn't and to make myself feel better I went and bought Mrs.Fields cookies and then did some retail therapy. Which come now always makes me feel better. (at least for a few mintues)