Footprints in the sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

I was in the ER again tonight. It started with some achy feeling then worsened to intense debilitating pain. Then the bleeding started so much blood- I was nervous and scared. With clots. Vicodin was not touching the pain. I was useless.

My friend J kept my mind off of it and was a wonderful sympathetic sounding bored. I love her.

The doctor told be to go to the ER. But I had no one to watch the kids. I called Karyn from pole dancing. She orchestrated a life saving adventure to have her mom, husband, and daughter, hold down the fort. The watched the kids and drove me to the hospital.

My friend E drove 2 hours to take my kids for me.

My mom drove an additional 3 hours after sitting in the car for a previous 5 to help. She came and did my laundry and folded it. She cleaned my house. My mom is amazing.

I have been so so blessed with friends who love me and my children. I am privileged and honored to call them my friends. I will without a question give of myself to help them. I love them like sisters.

While I was sitting in a drugged stupor in the ER I began tho think of this poem/prayer. It dawned on me: G-d carries us through our friends and family and faith. We may be given more than we can individually handle- but we are not individuals we are a community, a family. Through all of this- I have never felt alone- I have felt loved and supported. That feeling of love has allowed me to face this and deal with this challenge. G-d works in each of us when we allow Him to.

I am humbled by the love my friends have shown me. If ever they need something it will be my pleasure to support them. I love them and their children dearly- they will never have to face anything alone.

It was a clot that was obstructing my ureter- my entire thing was one big clot once that was passed I felt much better (I suppose the morphine helped a bit too).

Thank you my friends. You are more than friends. You are my family. I love you. When you need to be carried- I will gladly carry you.