My Problem with the AP (Attachment Parenting) movement

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Full disclosure: I am an attachment parenting parent.

First, I think it is great that Attachment Parenting is getting press. Yay!

What I do not like is that people are now clamoring to be AP parents. I tried on mainstream parenting with Princess it sucked for us. It did not feel good- like a sweater that it itchy and does not fit right and rubs in all the wrong places.  So I stopped and started listing to my heart and my instincts and doing what felt right.

I did not run out and buy 30 books and try each brand of parenting on.  I tried to listen to what my heart was saying and go with that. So far it works.  I am not an ideal attachment parent.  I do not follow all of the rules.  Following all of the attachment parenting rules also felt forced to me. So I again, did what feels right.

It is important to note that what feels right varies from child to child and from stage to stage. The unique nature of children needs to be honored.  They are individuals too.

I do believe that especially when babies are infants and newborns I need to put aside some of my needs to meet theirs.  If I need a shower and the baby needs to eat whose need gets met? The baby's my needs can wait.  I am older and understand priorities better.  Babies live in the moment.

The issue is that babies and kids can sense a fake a mile away.  If parents are doing this just because it is 'in' it will not be authentic or genuine for anyone and benefit no one.


Atwood-Family of FIVE said...

I will say I tried full AP w/ my first and it didn't work for us. I was a very bad mom w/ it. no patience at all. once i did what worked for me we were all happier and better for it. now w/ 3 kiddos under my belt i find i am move more easily towards AP. I'm an old pro at this so it's easier to figure out what they need and to give it to them. w/ my first I needed some boundaries to help me navigate how to care for her. But i agree, i had to give up what i thought would work and do what actually worked instead.

Just Me said...

@april i tried to like your comment! social media mix up!

Zeemaid Zeemaid said...

I have never heard of attachment parenting but am planning to google it. I'm glad it's working for you and I agree you shouldn't have to follow all the rules... every family needs to find their own rythym (cannot remember if I spelled that right at all) ;)

Anyways, topping by from SITS. Your kids are beautiful!!!

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