Posts
It is time for my weekly post pole report.
Yes, I went to pole dancing last night, gravel pit kidney and all. I needed it. It would not have been a pretty sight had I not had that hour and a half to not be mama.
So- yah.
Today, a friend asked me an intriguing question. What, exactly do I like about pole dancing. 'Everything' not being a suitable answer- I was stumped. What do I like about it- well- umm everything.
Specifically? The way it makes me feel- physically yes- but more emotionally, mentally.
I can turn off the caring about everyone else for a little bit and take care of myself. I can nurture relationships with other women which in turn nurtures me. Then when I go home I am much more prepared to nurture my family.
Going to pole dancing class- sure makes me feel sexy- but it makes me feel more sensual. It reminds me not to live my life like a chess game- planning four moves head; but to relish the moment. It also reminds me to love and appreciate my body as it is now- gravel pit and all- for what it has given me. For what I do with it. To embrace it for all the amazing things that my body- the body of a woman- the body of a mother can and has done. Things that only a woman's body can do and honor that.
Tease has given me more confidence in so many aspects. I feel better about myself. I am learning to accept me and myself and go one step further- to love it. To be proud of it.
That is a gift. So those are just a few- just a small glimpse of what I love about it.
Certainly- everyone's journey is different; everyone has their own challenges my journey through mine is specific to me and my obstacles, someone else will have a different point of view entirely. Yet another amazing thing about these classes.
Still Get Chills
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Nine years later. Watching the season Premiere of Rescue Me they played footage of the Twin Towers. Before the attack, before, 9/11, just before. Back when the 1993 attach was fading from memory; back when they were the at the center of New York City and a tourist attraction.
I got chills. So much changed then. So much is still changing because of it- I can't verbalize it.
I got chills. So much changed then. So much is still changing because of it- I can't verbalize it.
It made me soooo mad!
What do you do when one of your kids does something that you just can't handle? Stinky 'boxed' Peas' ears with wooden building blocks. She now has matching bruises on her face. Why? Because she was playing with his trains.
Of late, Stinky has been having a hard time. I understand it though. He is the only boy here. He is also going through huge changes. He is nearly 4 years old and his brain is so busy learning sometimes he forgets other things.
All of this is great- but- it made me SO ANGRY to see him deliberately hurt his sister. Granted, was not trying to hurt her in a malicious way- he wanted her to stop and she would not. It was an impulsive action.
I asked him who was allowed to hit him and he replied 'nobody'. Okay then, don't hit anyone!
As soon as he realized he really hurt her- he was sad. He felt bad. Which then made me sad for him- but pleased that he felt remorse and tried to help. He is learning how to navigate his world. Which is challenging; it is a big world!
Of late, Stinky has been having a hard time. I understand it though. He is the only boy here. He is also going through huge changes. He is nearly 4 years old and his brain is so busy learning sometimes he forgets other things.
All of this is great- but- it made me SO ANGRY to see him deliberately hurt his sister. Granted, was not trying to hurt her in a malicious way- he wanted her to stop and she would not. It was an impulsive action.
I asked him who was allowed to hit him and he replied 'nobody'. Okay then, don't hit anyone!
As soon as he realized he really hurt her- he was sad. He felt bad. Which then made me sad for him- but pleased that he felt remorse and tried to help. He is learning how to navigate his world. Which is challenging; it is a big world!
A huge accomplishment
Monday, June 28, 2010
Stinky can now ride his bike without training wheels. Before you go congratulate him- remember he is now faster than me; I will have a decidedly harder time catching him if he decides to not listen.
How did this happen? The boy who could not peddle his bike at the beginning at the summer now can ride his bike without training wheels!
Princess learned how to ride this spring and inspired him to learn to ride. Today, our friend decided that she was ready to loose the training wheels- and off she went. Her mother and I cheered, jumped up and down, and clapped euphorically. It was so thrilling. In my opinion- better than the Hawks winning the Stanley Cup- but what do I know- I was drugged out of my mind.
Not to be out done Stinky decided that he would loose his extra wheels too. Off they went- and off he went. He got it. He is not steady yet and steering needs a lot of work but he can balance. Stinky tends to ride right into the grass; there if he falls it won't hurt so bad.
Today he managed to not get hurt at all but plow into our poor unsuspecting neighbor. So the steering and stopping will be the next order of business.
He made the round of phone calls to Papa and Grammy to tell how he learned to ride a "TWO WHEELER!" he excitedly demonstrated his skills for the neighbors- and he is is all set to go again tomorrow.
How did this happen? The boy who could not peddle his bike at the beginning at the summer now can ride his bike without training wheels!
Princess learned how to ride this spring and inspired him to learn to ride. Today, our friend decided that she was ready to loose the training wheels- and off she went. Her mother and I cheered, jumped up and down, and clapped euphorically. It was so thrilling. In my opinion- better than the Hawks winning the Stanley Cup- but what do I know- I was drugged out of my mind.
Not to be out done Stinky decided that he would loose his extra wheels too. Off they went- and off he went. He got it. He is not steady yet and steering needs a lot of work but he can balance. Stinky tends to ride right into the grass; there if he falls it won't hurt so bad.
Today he managed to not get hurt at all but plow into our poor unsuspecting neighbor. So the steering and stopping will be the next order of business.
He made the round of phone calls to Papa and Grammy to tell how he learned to ride a "TWO WHEELER!" he excitedly demonstrated his skills for the neighbors- and he is is all set to go again tomorrow.
It was a good day
Sunday, June 27, 2010
until Princess threw up on her friend.
Princess, Stinky and her friend have been very upset by the oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. In truth, I have too, which is why I have not written about it: it makes me to angry and sad- and I feel helpless.
So the kids wanted to help somehow. They really needed to feel like they could help. A lemonade stand was proposed. Princess's friend's mama and I decided that it was the least we could do; and the lemonade stand was born.
All week I heard daily about the stand. How excited they were to help the poor animals covered in oil. Stinky asked for status reports on the oil, "is it still flowing mama?" or "why haven't they fixed it mama?" I wish I had good answers but I did have a Costco tub of lemonade mix, poster board, paints, and cups. So we made lemonade, made signs and set them up.
They were out there selling lemonade with all of their hearts. All day whenever a car drove by or a person walked by they were greeted with a chorus of "LEMONADE for the ANIMALS!".
It was pretty much a success and best of all they felt like they had made a difference.
The issue started as complaining about a tummy ache- Princess had consumed about a gallon of lemonade through the day day so a tummy ache was not wholly unexpected.
After we cleaned up and went in the girls continued to play and the mamas watched the world up. Until someone came down stairs and said that Princess had thrown up on her foot. If only it was her foot. It was EVERYWHERE!
It was only that once, though she was fine after. No subsequent issues.
So today I will mail off a check to the animals.
Princess, Stinky and her friend have been very upset by the oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. In truth, I have too, which is why I have not written about it: it makes me to angry and sad- and I feel helpless.
So the kids wanted to help somehow. They really needed to feel like they could help. A lemonade stand was proposed. Princess's friend's mama and I decided that it was the least we could do; and the lemonade stand was born.
All week I heard daily about the stand. How excited they were to help the poor animals covered in oil. Stinky asked for status reports on the oil, "is it still flowing mama?" or "why haven't they fixed it mama?" I wish I had good answers but I did have a Costco tub of lemonade mix, poster board, paints, and cups. So we made lemonade, made signs and set them up.
They were out there selling lemonade with all of their hearts. All day whenever a car drove by or a person walked by they were greeted with a chorus of "LEMONADE for the ANIMALS!".
It was pretty much a success and best of all they felt like they had made a difference.
The issue started as complaining about a tummy ache- Princess had consumed about a gallon of lemonade through the day day so a tummy ache was not wholly unexpected.
After we cleaned up and went in the girls continued to play and the mamas watched the world up. Until someone came down stairs and said that Princess had thrown up on her foot. If only it was her foot. It was EVERYWHERE!
It was only that once, though she was fine after. No subsequent issues.
So today I will mail off a check to the animals.
So typical
Friday, June 25, 2010
Gah!
yesterday I had to pick up my two oldest kids from camp and something happened that was so classically my life; it was almost to *perfect*
camp pick up can be a little (a lot) insane. We ran into my neighbor there and she was also picking up her daughter with her youngest in tow, so we decided to walk together. The children were retrieved without incident- it was getting out of the building that was the issue.
After getting on the elevator I said 'please do not press the alarm button, again' yes they have done it before. We were on the elevator with our friend and her two kids, another group, and me and the four- so it was a bit crowded. When we went to get off- Peas got swept with the throng of kids and instead of stopping ran right out into the middle of the road with joy- at the same time Stinky got his fingers stuck in the elevator. Too typical. My friend ran out and got Peas who was upset about being interrupted dancing and I freed Stinky. Then we went on our way. Like nothing had happened. It was just typical.
In the words of Guy Smiley from Sesame Street "this is your life".
yesterday I had to pick up my two oldest kids from camp and something happened that was so classically my life; it was almost to *perfect*
camp pick up can be a little (a lot) insane. We ran into my neighbor there and she was also picking up her daughter with her youngest in tow, so we decided to walk together. The children were retrieved without incident- it was getting out of the building that was the issue.
After getting on the elevator I said 'please do not press the alarm button, again' yes they have done it before. We were on the elevator with our friend and her two kids, another group, and me and the four- so it was a bit crowded. When we went to get off- Peas got swept with the throng of kids and instead of stopping ran right out into the middle of the road with joy- at the same time Stinky got his fingers stuck in the elevator. Too typical. My friend ran out and got Peas who was upset about being interrupted dancing and I freed Stinky. Then we went on our way. Like nothing had happened. It was just typical.
In the words of Guy Smiley from Sesame Street "this is your life".
June Giveaway!!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
want to win a $20 gift card to Amazon.com??
Leave me a comment!
Follow me, for another one
Want more??
Facebook me?
Twitter!
On July 1 2010 will draw a winner.
If the winner does not respond in 7 calender days I will draw a new winner.
good luck!
**** edit to add: if you do not have an email associated with your blogger profile leave me your email addy- or email me with it at almostsinglemom@makingitfun.net*****
Leave me a comment!
Follow me, for another one
Want more??
Facebook me?
Twitter!
On July 1 2010 will draw a winner.
If the winner does not respond in 7 calender days I will draw a new winner.
good luck!
**** edit to add: if you do not have an email associated with your blogger profile leave me your email addy- or email me with it at almostsinglemom@makingitfun.net*****
back on the pole
last night was my first night back pole dancing in close to a month. I was actually nervous again. I used to just be all excited about it. This time there were nerves.
What if I had forgotten EVERYTHING. What if I still hurt? What if was not strong enough or flexible enough anymore? There were a ton of variables running though my head.
During the stretching meditation Karyn said something about letting go of pain and discomfort with one big breath and I burst into giggles. As a friend said... I would need one heck of a big breath. I was not as flexible as normal; which was embarrassing and annoying. Some movements hurt. They felt like a bruised kidney a deeply bruised kidney.
During the trick portion I was super frustrated. I could not get the tricks. I tried and tried my momentum was not there, I was not landing right, or I was not extending enough. Maybe with more practice it will get back to normal.
What if I had forgotten EVERYTHING. What if I still hurt? What if was not strong enough or flexible enough anymore? There were a ton of variables running though my head.
During the stretching meditation Karyn said something about letting go of pain and discomfort with one big breath and I burst into giggles. As a friend said... I would need one heck of a big breath. I was not as flexible as normal; which was embarrassing and annoying. Some movements hurt. They felt like a bruised kidney a deeply bruised kidney.
During the trick portion I was super frustrated. I could not get the tricks. I tried and tried my momentum was not there, I was not landing right, or I was not extending enough. Maybe with more practice it will get back to normal.
She is not a problem
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Ok well if she is, it is YOUR problem; not hers.
Peas has personality. A huge personality in this little body.
Some people in my family call her a 'problem child' despite my requests to stop it. Well I have a problem with that. She is a child. Not a problem child. She is spirited, curious, exuberant, and passionate. Which, admittedly does make things frustrating for adults (and me, a lot). But it is MY problem. Not hers. She is who she is. Good for her.
In my opinion. Calling her a problem child is just labeling her and setting her up for issues later. Why do that to her? Does it make adults feel better to put off their (our) inability to work with a child feel better by labeling her 'the problem'. What good does that do anyone? She can internalize that label and then effect her for the rest of her life. As a 'problem child', I know that those labels can be very painful.
So don't call Peas a problem child please.
No good options.
Monday, June 21, 2010
So a week ago.. a week and a half maybe? I had a kidney stone issue that was obstructing my ureter. I spent a night completely doped up. After my CT scan the doc came in and told me my right kidney was swollen and I have a lot of huge stones in my right kidney and some smaller ones in my left.
the next day the urologist put a stent in my right ureter to open it up. It was so swollen, irritated, infected he almost couldn't get the stent in. That stent was horrific. The side effects from it were unmanageable.
Last wednesday I had to have my old stent out and a smaller one put it in and the new blockage removed. During this procedure the urologist noticed that my ureter was deformed (kinked) which meant my kidney was not draining right, which probably contributed to the stones. He also thinks that the kink has caused it to be back pressured so long that I have damaged my kidney- hence the renal swelling.
I am having a renal scan done next week to get a firmer picture, but from the consult today, he wants to go in remove the stones and fix my ureter. Great plan, right? Except that I would have to have a larger stent for 4-6 weeks. Not so great. I could not stand the stent for a week--- let alone 4-6!!!
But if I do not do this I am a sitting duck for the next stone issue. I could be up shit creek- no way to get to the ER and no one to watch the kids. Not to mention the continued damage to my kidney.
No idea what to do. I feel like either choice is shitty.
the next day the urologist put a stent in my right ureter to open it up. It was so swollen, irritated, infected he almost couldn't get the stent in. That stent was horrific. The side effects from it were unmanageable.
Last wednesday I had to have my old stent out and a smaller one put it in and the new blockage removed. During this procedure the urologist noticed that my ureter was deformed (kinked) which meant my kidney was not draining right, which probably contributed to the stones. He also thinks that the kink has caused it to be back pressured so long that I have damaged my kidney- hence the renal swelling.
I am having a renal scan done next week to get a firmer picture, but from the consult today, he wants to go in remove the stones and fix my ureter. Great plan, right? Except that I would have to have a larger stent for 4-6 weeks. Not so great. I could not stand the stent for a week--- let alone 4-6!!!
But if I do not do this I am a sitting duck for the next stone issue. I could be up shit creek- no way to get to the ER and no one to watch the kids. Not to mention the continued damage to my kidney.
No idea what to do. I feel like either choice is shitty.
Flexible
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Not with regards to schedules or physically. I am talking about a far less beneficial form of flexibility.
I am a master of becoming who I think others want me to be. I conform to what perceive they want in me. I am convinced that I will never be enough as I am. I will never be good enough, I will never be likable. So I bend who I am to suit the situation. I can be a club hopping rocker chick, a nerd, a whatever. My life has been a series of roles that I step into.
With some help, people are trying to convince me that I do not need to play a role. I can just be. easy to say right? Not so easy to do. I do not know who or what 'I' am. I have been stepping into different roles as long as I can remember. And I do not remember my childhood- save for brief snippets. So who I am is somewhat of a mystery even to me. What do I like? What have I just 'liked' to be accepted?
So I am going to try. I am going to figure this out. Maybe.
I am a master of becoming who I think others want me to be. I conform to what perceive they want in me. I am convinced that I will never be enough as I am. I will never be good enough, I will never be likable. So I bend who I am to suit the situation. I can be a club hopping rocker chick, a nerd, a whatever. My life has been a series of roles that I step into.
With some help, people are trying to convince me that I do not need to play a role. I can just be. easy to say right? Not so easy to do. I do not know who or what 'I' am. I have been stepping into different roles as long as I can remember. And I do not remember my childhood- save for brief snippets. So who I am is somewhat of a mystery even to me. What do I like? What have I just 'liked' to be accepted?
So I am going to try. I am going to figure this out. Maybe.
It has been a while
Friday, June 18, 2010
Since I have talked about pole dancing. This is for a few reasons. It is really hard to be sexy when writhing in pain from kidney stones. There is something that is just not sexy about them.
So I had to miss dancing. I was very sad. But the support I have gotten from the other ladies in my class in emails has been so amazing. It has made me feel loved and cared about- for more than my laundry skills. Even the studio owner has been so supportive. It makes me all melty inside. Women are such amazing creatures- we can either nurture and support each other through hell or we tear each other to shreds without a second thought. I am so so blessed to have such caring women in my life. I hope all of them know how amazing they are.
A few weeks ago now I had an opportunity to dance at the opening of "Sex and the City 2" in Naperville, IL with Tease. Thank you Kristin for this amazing chance. A year a go... heck 6 months ago if someone were to say, "you'll be pole dancing and burlesque dancing at a movie premiere in public" I would laugh and look at the person like they had a third head.
I have talked on and on about all that Tease has done for me. This was a chance to show off my new confidence in my body (sure there are times that I am more confidant than others)but still even the though of dancing in lingerie a few months ago would have sent me into fits of giggles.
Now?? Ok well my courage was increased with the other women- but I did it. I was and am proud of my body.
That too me is the most important message of Tease. To embrace your body to embrace your strength and honor it for all that it is. Having the chance to show other women how much fun it it is and the confidence that it gives me was an awesome way to give back a little.
So I had to miss dancing. I was very sad. But the support I have gotten from the other ladies in my class in emails has been so amazing. It has made me feel loved and cared about- for more than my laundry skills. Even the studio owner has been so supportive. It makes me all melty inside. Women are such amazing creatures- we can either nurture and support each other through hell or we tear each other to shreds without a second thought. I am so so blessed to have such caring women in my life. I hope all of them know how amazing they are.
A few weeks ago now I had an opportunity to dance at the opening of "Sex and the City 2" in Naperville, IL with Tease. Thank you Kristin for this amazing chance. A year a go... heck 6 months ago if someone were to say, "you'll be pole dancing and burlesque dancing at a movie premiere in public" I would laugh and look at the person like they had a third head.
I have talked on and on about all that Tease has done for me. This was a chance to show off my new confidence in my body (sure there are times that I am more confidant than others)but still even the though of dancing in lingerie a few months ago would have sent me into fits of giggles.
Now?? Ok well my courage was increased with the other women- but I did it. I was and am proud of my body.
That too me is the most important message of Tease. To embrace your body to embrace your strength and honor it for all that it is. Having the chance to show other women how much fun it it is and the confidence that it gives me was an awesome way to give back a little.
And at last some pictures!!!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Pixie is getting TEETH!
Peas hard at work at the Lego Store
Stinky looking out the window at the train station
Princess looking pretty at her birthday party!
At the carnival!
At the carnival!
Surgery
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Today I had surgery. Again for my kidney stones. It went really well from what I can tell. I mean I am still alive so that is a good place to start, right? I feel better too. Which is fantastic; for the past few days I felt like poop. Just miserable, painful, crampy, so it is an improvement.
I learned a few things though. I have deformed ureters. Which makes me forming stones much likely because they are all twisty and just wrong. The stone that was the concern today was soft. The doc went to grab it and it tore- like tissue. Which has the potential to be concerning. Had I not had the CT scan a week ago there would be a concern about a tumor or something- but it is just a soft stone.
So now I have to schedule the next procedures to get rid of my other stones and consider getting my ureter corrected.
So here we are. Much improved but not all better.
And that is a good start.
I learned a few things though. I have deformed ureters. Which makes me forming stones much likely because they are all twisty and just wrong. The stone that was the concern today was soft. The doc went to grab it and it tore- like tissue. Which has the potential to be concerning. Had I not had the CT scan a week ago there would be a concern about a tumor or something- but it is just a soft stone.
So now I have to schedule the next procedures to get rid of my other stones and consider getting my ureter corrected.
So here we are. Much improved but not all better.
And that is a good start.
a simple moms confession
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Sometimes instead of picking up pieces of cheerios or goldfish crackers on the floor I just step on them to vacuum them up. It saves time- they vacuum better and I get some frustration out with the stomping
It it a really big deal- nah- not really but I do it.
It it a really big deal- nah- not really but I do it.
This is ok??
Monday, June 14, 2010
Admittedly I am out of the loop. I just read on CNN.com about a man in Utah preparing to face death by a firing squad.
I had to read the article a few times to make sure I was actually reading it and not just day dreaming. Really? a Firing Squad?
Despite the fact that I am opposed to the Death Penalty as a whole; this just seems so wrong. So wrong on so many levels. I understand that everyone had their own opinion on the topic... and my reasons for objection are my own; however a firing squad?? Really??
People instructed to shoot someone TIED down with a target on his chest? I am appalled.
I had to read the article a few times to make sure I was actually reading it and not just day dreaming. Really? a Firing Squad?
Despite the fact that I am opposed to the Death Penalty as a whole; this just seems so wrong. So wrong on so many levels. I understand that everyone had their own opinion on the topic... and my reasons for objection are my own; however a firing squad?? Really??
People instructed to shoot someone TIED down with a target on his chest? I am appalled.
Pain. Unbelievable pain.
In the midst of recovering from a crazy insane weekend I noticed something about my trips to the potty. Things were not the normal clear color. In my mind I figured that I just did not drink enough and needed to have some more water. To simple. It changed again- to red. This was odd. No pain, no fever NOTHING. NOTHING to make me think I was sick. To the point I was even wondering if I had a delayed reaction to the fruit punch I had a week ago. Maybe, maybe, if I wanted to be dramatic about it I could say I had back cramping- it was so mild it was hardly worth thinking about.
But since blood coming out of anywhere is usually not a good thing, I called my doc and made an appointment. The next day I went in and gave my sample and sat on the table to be examined. She poked and prodded- did any of this hurt? No. Did I feel sick?? Not even a little. huh. The quicky dipstick came back: HELLO INFECTION. I was sent home with antibiotics. Dropped them off and the kids and I went to play outside. Over the course of the afternoon I became less comfortable; it was hard to find a place to sit. I was achy. Close to 3 p.m. when I got up I had a decided pain in my back, it hurt- but felt like I needed to stretch it. It got worse. A lot worse by the time we had cleaned up outside my ache had transformed into a pain. A severe pain. I could be comfortable anywhere, I could not focus on anything. I could not see anything except pain. In those minutes all I could see was pain.
Princess was amazing she assumed charge of the little kids while I writhed in pain. my friend happened to be next door and able to take me to the pharmacy to fill some pain medication. I did- and it did not touch the pain. My this time the pain had continued to increase in intensity. When I managed to get to the hospital I could not walk.
The hospital had me in a room right away. As I got into the bed I needed to vomit a lot. As I got sick the doctor came in and started talking to me like nothing was happening... "what brings you in today".... *puke*... "how long has this been happening?"... *more puking and gagging*
The nurse started an IV expertly and gave me medicine for pain: Dilaudid and Toradol as well as Zofran for nausea. The meds worked. The pain was dulled. I felt heavy and warm in a narcotic pain medication haze. I received Dilaudid every 2 hours for the next 24 hours.
The doctor ordered a CT scan to see what was going on... what a shock I was in for. Everyone had guessed their were stones in my kidneys. What I did not expect was to have so many huge stones in my right kidney and a medium sized one blocking my ureter which was causing the pain. With that I was admitted. And I gained another specialist a Urologist.
The next day I had the pleasure of a procedure to place a stent in there to let some of the pressure off. There were some issues placing it and it was decided that I need to have some more procedures done but for now I am much more comfortable.
But since blood coming out of anywhere is usually not a good thing, I called my doc and made an appointment. The next day I went in and gave my sample and sat on the table to be examined. She poked and prodded- did any of this hurt? No. Did I feel sick?? Not even a little. huh. The quicky dipstick came back: HELLO INFECTION. I was sent home with antibiotics. Dropped them off and the kids and I went to play outside. Over the course of the afternoon I became less comfortable; it was hard to find a place to sit. I was achy. Close to 3 p.m. when I got up I had a decided pain in my back, it hurt- but felt like I needed to stretch it. It got worse. A lot worse by the time we had cleaned up outside my ache had transformed into a pain. A severe pain. I could be comfortable anywhere, I could not focus on anything. I could not see anything except pain. In those minutes all I could see was pain.
Princess was amazing she assumed charge of the little kids while I writhed in pain. my friend happened to be next door and able to take me to the pharmacy to fill some pain medication. I did- and it did not touch the pain. My this time the pain had continued to increase in intensity. When I managed to get to the hospital I could not walk.
The hospital had me in a room right away. As I got into the bed I needed to vomit a lot. As I got sick the doctor came in and started talking to me like nothing was happening... "what brings you in today".... *puke*... "how long has this been happening?"... *more puking and gagging*
The nurse started an IV expertly and gave me medicine for pain: Dilaudid and Toradol as well as Zofran for nausea. The meds worked. The pain was dulled. I felt heavy and warm in a narcotic pain medication haze. I received Dilaudid every 2 hours for the next 24 hours.
The doctor ordered a CT scan to see what was going on... what a shock I was in for. Everyone had guessed their were stones in my kidneys. What I did not expect was to have so many huge stones in my right kidney and a medium sized one blocking my ureter which was causing the pain. With that I was admitted. And I gained another specialist a Urologist.
The next day I had the pleasure of a procedure to place a stent in there to let some of the pressure off. There were some issues placing it and it was decided that I need to have some more procedures done but for now I am much more comfortable.
This is hard to write
Sunday, June 13, 2010
I have encountered in the past few weeks some very painful and unexpected health problems- I'll cover those in a separate post but I am having a hard time facing giving up my pole dancing classes. My back hurts and it is not likely to improve a lot until I have some kind of surgical intervention.
Which forces me to consider giving up- temporarily- pole dancing. This crushes me. I love my classes. I love that time. I will miss it and my friends. I will miss the confidence I am building and all the amazing growth I have accomplished.
Is it wise though to dance when it hurts? Is it wise to push through? If I don't push through I will not learn any new tricks. Is it wise to spend the money and not be learning?
For the past 4 months Tuesdays have been my night. Tuesdays have been pole dancing. They are what I count down to each week. They are what I look forward to. Taking that away is depressing.
Here is the thing though- I will not be able to give it my best until after surgery; even then I'll need some time to recover.
One of my big fears in giving it up is losing my place with my class. I love the girls in my class. LOVE THEM. I count them as friends. Would I be able to bond with another class like that? Would I want too?
help.
Which forces me to consider giving up- temporarily- pole dancing. This crushes me. I love my classes. I love that time. I will miss it and my friends. I will miss the confidence I am building and all the amazing growth I have accomplished.
Is it wise though to dance when it hurts? Is it wise to push through? If I don't push through I will not learn any new tricks. Is it wise to spend the money and not be learning?
For the past 4 months Tuesdays have been my night. Tuesdays have been pole dancing. They are what I count down to each week. They are what I look forward to. Taking that away is depressing.
Here is the thing though- I will not be able to give it my best until after surgery; even then I'll need some time to recover.
One of my big fears in giving it up is losing my place with my class. I love the girls in my class. LOVE THEM. I count them as friends. Would I be able to bond with another class like that? Would I want too?
help.
Sunday Continued....
Saturday, June 12, 2010
And the saga continues......
We arrived at The American Girl Place via horse-drawn carriage. It was seriously like a little girls perfect day dream. We were able to talk about Laura Ingalls and The Little House on the Prairie and see in context how people used to travel.
Once arriving at the store; which is much more than a store- more of an icon- shopping commenced. Princess picked the doll she wanted: Rebecca from New York circa 1910. One thing I love about the stores associated with the dolls is that they show common things to all girls that transcend time periods that girls of today can relate to.
It is a fantastic way to make history fun and interesting. To personalize it so it relates to an individual or group of individuals.
We had some time to kill before our much anticipated dinner at The American Girl Restaurant so we wandered around Water Tower Place mall for a bit and stopped and had snacks at a pretzel place.
Soon it was time to head back to American Girl to get ready for dinner. First we stopped downstairs and paid for Princess's new doll. During this time, Peas woke up and was less than thrilled. She wanted a doll. She really wanted a doll, and she made it known. Since American Girl dolls are a bit too old for her and she already has a Bitty Baby she compromised, unwillingly, for an outfit for her baby.
I am not sure what I was expecting from the American Girl restaurant but I was surprised at what I found. It was not like a 'kid restaurant'. It was obviously girly, but also really adult.
They had napkins that had hairbows that you got to keep as souvenirs and a box of questions on the table to entertain you while you waited for your meal.
Speaking of the meal it was not a Chilis type of place. From the 'warm welcome' of cinnamon buns to the chocolate mousse dessert it super fun.
My only complaints would relate to the little kids. While I understand and respect that they are catering to young girls who want to be grown up but it would have been nice to have cups with lids for my little ones. The other issue is non kid related but I would have preferred to have bathrooms for kids... I mean come on- it is a store focused on kids- and there are no kid sized bathrooms... Ikea has that!
We will be back though. We will.
That ended the adventures for the most part. We walked back to the train station and rode home to arrive close to 10 pm.... a late late late night.
Soon it was time to head
We arrived at The American Girl Place via horse-drawn carriage. It was seriously like a little girls perfect day dream. We were able to talk about Laura Ingalls and The Little House on the Prairie and see in context how people used to travel.
Once arriving at the store; which is much more than a store- more of an icon- shopping commenced. Princess picked the doll she wanted: Rebecca from New York circa 1910. One thing I love about the stores associated with the dolls is that they show common things to all girls that transcend time periods that girls of today can relate to.
It is a fantastic way to make history fun and interesting. To personalize it so it relates to an individual or group of individuals.
We had some time to kill before our much anticipated dinner at The American Girl Restaurant so we wandered around Water Tower Place mall for a bit and stopped and had snacks at a pretzel place.
Soon it was time to head back to American Girl to get ready for dinner. First we stopped downstairs and paid for Princess's new doll. During this time, Peas woke up and was less than thrilled. She wanted a doll. She really wanted a doll, and she made it known. Since American Girl dolls are a bit too old for her and she already has a Bitty Baby she compromised, unwillingly, for an outfit for her baby.
I am not sure what I was expecting from the American Girl restaurant but I was surprised at what I found. It was not like a 'kid restaurant'. It was obviously girly, but also really adult.
They had napkins that had hairbows that you got to keep as souvenirs and a box of questions on the table to entertain you while you waited for your meal.
Speaking of the meal it was not a Chilis type of place. From the 'warm welcome' of cinnamon buns to the chocolate mousse dessert it super fun.
My only complaints would relate to the little kids. While I understand and respect that they are catering to young girls who want to be grown up but it would have been nice to have cups with lids for my little ones. The other issue is non kid related but I would have preferred to have bathrooms for kids... I mean come on- it is a store focused on kids- and there are no kid sized bathrooms... Ikea has that!
We will be back though. We will.
That ended the adventures for the most part. We walked back to the train station and rode home to arrive close to 10 pm.... a late late late night.
Soon it was time to head
A new winner!!
Congratulations ELSA!
the previous winner did not claim her prize so thanks to random.org you are now the winner of the bows!!
the previous winner did not claim her prize so thanks to random.org you are now the winner of the bows!!
An intermission
Just to say I am alive. I had emergency surgery the other day and am having a hard time recovering. Please be patient with me while I try and update everyone on the misadventures of my family!
Weekend Crazy-ness continued......
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Sunday.
Gah! Sunday.
My husband's brother, his wife, mother in law, and new baby were in town from the east coast. We all wanted to meet their new baby and they wanted to meet Pixie and see the kids.
They said they wanted to get together in the morning. Morning in my world is anytime after 5 am but before noon. Heck a lot of times we have had lunch before noon. So we made plans for the afternoon. When we confirmed what time they wanted to get together they indicated between noon and three... (insert huge eye roll here) MORNING people. MORNING.
For our afternoon plans we had to be on the afternoon train at 12:45 headed to Chicago. Somehow that did not mix with his interpretation of morning. In the end we got to hang out and the kids got to meet the new baby.
On to the train. Stinky loves trains. For him the best part of going somewhere is the transportation. Trains are a favorite.
On the train we talked (ok he talked) incessantly about what we were passing. Soon we left the grass and small buildings of the suburbs and were in the city surrounded by skyscrapers.
The city is a new environment for my kids. We used to live there a long time ago but now they are used to being able to run outside and play and live in a really quiet area with relative security. The traffic and noise of the city is a huge shock.
We decided to take the water taxi up the Chicago River to Michigan Avenue. Of course during this time it had started to rain... POUR. And I had not brought an umbrella (thanks for the inaccurate weather forecast). As we were getting on the boat it stopped raining and the kids were able to enjoy watching the city pass as we sailed up the river.
We got off the boat and went up the stairs to Michigan Avenue: the Magnificent Mile. Once we got up there it was a matter of where to go first. The Lego Store was first. I am seriously un-interested in Legos. The get on the floor and they hurt when I step on them and they are the source for innumerable fights. But whatever- this day was not about me.
After the Lego adventure we resumed our march towards the American Girl store. On the way we passed a horse drawn carriage. I am attracted to horses like a moth to a flame. There is some kind of magnetism there. We had to stop and pet the horse. The driver let us feed the horse some cookies and we were convinced to take a carriage ride (ok twist my arm a bit). The carriage ride took our modes of transport to 4 for the day: car, train, boat, and carriage (five if you count walking). On the ride it started raining- again- of course. The carriage was an early convertible so quickly a roof was up and we stayed dry. When we ended the ride we were right in front of the American Girl Store, aka, the Tiffany's of the under 12 set.
The day did not end there. I'll continue this marathon adventure later.
Gah! Sunday.
My husband's brother, his wife, mother in law, and new baby were in town from the east coast. We all wanted to meet their new baby and they wanted to meet Pixie and see the kids.
They said they wanted to get together in the morning. Morning in my world is anytime after 5 am but before noon. Heck a lot of times we have had lunch before noon. So we made plans for the afternoon. When we confirmed what time they wanted to get together they indicated between noon and three... (insert huge eye roll here) MORNING people. MORNING.
For our afternoon plans we had to be on the afternoon train at 12:45 headed to Chicago. Somehow that did not mix with his interpretation of morning. In the end we got to hang out and the kids got to meet the new baby.
On to the train. Stinky loves trains. For him the best part of going somewhere is the transportation. Trains are a favorite.
On the train we talked (ok he talked) incessantly about what we were passing. Soon we left the grass and small buildings of the suburbs and were in the city surrounded by skyscrapers.
The city is a new environment for my kids. We used to live there a long time ago but now they are used to being able to run outside and play and live in a really quiet area with relative security. The traffic and noise of the city is a huge shock.
We decided to take the water taxi up the Chicago River to Michigan Avenue. Of course during this time it had started to rain... POUR. And I had not brought an umbrella (thanks for the inaccurate weather forecast). As we were getting on the boat it stopped raining and the kids were able to enjoy watching the city pass as we sailed up the river.
We got off the boat and went up the stairs to Michigan Avenue: the Magnificent Mile. Once we got up there it was a matter of where to go first. The Lego Store was first. I am seriously un-interested in Legos. The get on the floor and they hurt when I step on them and they are the source for innumerable fights. But whatever- this day was not about me.
After the Lego adventure we resumed our march towards the American Girl store. On the way we passed a horse drawn carriage. I am attracted to horses like a moth to a flame. There is some kind of magnetism there. We had to stop and pet the horse. The driver let us feed the horse some cookies and we were convinced to take a carriage ride (ok twist my arm a bit). The carriage ride took our modes of transport to 4 for the day: car, train, boat, and carriage (five if you count walking). On the ride it started raining- again- of course. The carriage was an early convertible so quickly a roof was up and we stayed dry. When we ended the ride we were right in front of the American Girl Store, aka, the Tiffany's of the under 12 set.
The day did not end there. I'll continue this marathon adventure later.
Hello Busy Weekend...
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
It took me until TUESDAY to recover. And no there was no hangovers to recover from- just BUSY.
Saturday was Princess's Kid Birthday. I thought as one of the first weekends in June a lot of people would be unable to come so I okayed inviting a lot of kids. My assumption was wrong- almost everyone attended which meant I had 27 children at this party.
Thank goodness it was not at home, it was at Pump It Up. Hosting a party at a place like that is about a 100x easier than at home. Granted we kind of behave like locusts... but it is so much easier.
We arrived to be greeted by an employee who either has consumed far too much coffee or is just an effervescent woman.. she organized all of the children into a game of Simon Says and a round of introductions while waiting for everyone to arrive. I was stunned that the children all listened to her and were cooperative. Had it been me trying to coordinate ANYTHING I would have been greeted with a chorus of "I don't wanna"'s
after everyone arrived they watched a video of the rules and then were then led into the first arena to play. And they did play, hard. the water cooler was hit hard!
They were short blurs mostly running from apparatus to apparatus.
Peas was a toy for them- the girls carried her about and 'helped her' play. She ate it up. Princess had a hard time with that though. I can see so much of myself in her. I remember getting very stressed and frustrated with things did not go 'as I planned'. I will not tell her that she reminds me of myself as a child- as I want her to be HER. not me. I want her to be herself.
When it was time to go to the next area the staffers blew the whistle and the kids lined up so enthusiastically. Princess went and hid and then the other kids got to run in and find her. Which was super fun.
Again Princess was kind of sad that things were not going as she had planned. Thankfully when she had just lost her patience it was time to pose for a group picture. EVERYONE COOPERATED.
On to food. Pizza!!! for a room full of 5 and 6 year old's Pizza is a delicacy. Again. I did not have to worry about ordering, or plating or anything. The staff did that. It was FANTASTIC.
The kids ate there fill and on to cake. We did ice cream cake. it was a hit. What is not to love?
The only thing I had to bring was the cake and candles. Everything else was done for us. I did not even have to worry about cutting the cake! When it was time to hand out the favors I was again thrilled that I did not have to be responsible for them. Clean up was done for us also. All we had to do was go home.
The party host had kindly packed up Princess's gifts and that was a huge help. We were able to take them home and open them without a hoard of kids- which means- maybe- just maybe- I'll get thank you notes done.
Compared to last year when I was so stressed by the entire affair of her party at the house. I felt like I was re-entering the social kid scene and being judged by a bunch of 4 year olds.
I MUCH prefer this way. All around less stress. Less frustration. A lot more money but I guess it was worth it.
I'll cover the other events in a later post but for the moment Pixie needs some cuddles.
Saturday was Princess's Kid Birthday. I thought as one of the first weekends in June a lot of people would be unable to come so I okayed inviting a lot of kids. My assumption was wrong- almost everyone attended which meant I had 27 children at this party.
Thank goodness it was not at home, it was at Pump It Up. Hosting a party at a place like that is about a 100x easier than at home. Granted we kind of behave like locusts... but it is so much easier.
We arrived to be greeted by an employee who either has consumed far too much coffee or is just an effervescent woman.. she organized all of the children into a game of Simon Says and a round of introductions while waiting for everyone to arrive. I was stunned that the children all listened to her and were cooperative. Had it been me trying to coordinate ANYTHING I would have been greeted with a chorus of "I don't wanna"'s
after everyone arrived they watched a video of the rules and then were then led into the first arena to play. And they did play, hard. the water cooler was hit hard!
They were short blurs mostly running from apparatus to apparatus.
Peas was a toy for them- the girls carried her about and 'helped her' play. She ate it up. Princess had a hard time with that though. I can see so much of myself in her. I remember getting very stressed and frustrated with things did not go 'as I planned'. I will not tell her that she reminds me of myself as a child- as I want her to be HER. not me. I want her to be herself.
When it was time to go to the next area the staffers blew the whistle and the kids lined up so enthusiastically. Princess went and hid and then the other kids got to run in and find her. Which was super fun.
Again Princess was kind of sad that things were not going as she had planned. Thankfully when she had just lost her patience it was time to pose for a group picture. EVERYONE COOPERATED.
On to food. Pizza!!! for a room full of 5 and 6 year old's Pizza is a delicacy. Again. I did not have to worry about ordering, or plating or anything. The staff did that. It was FANTASTIC.
The kids ate there fill and on to cake. We did ice cream cake. it was a hit. What is not to love?
The only thing I had to bring was the cake and candles. Everything else was done for us. I did not even have to worry about cutting the cake! When it was time to hand out the favors I was again thrilled that I did not have to be responsible for them. Clean up was done for us also. All we had to do was go home.
The party host had kindly packed up Princess's gifts and that was a huge help. We were able to take them home and open them without a hoard of kids- which means- maybe- just maybe- I'll get thank you notes done.
Compared to last year when I was so stressed by the entire affair of her party at the house. I felt like I was re-entering the social kid scene and being judged by a bunch of 4 year olds.
I MUCH prefer this way. All around less stress. Less frustration. A lot more money but I guess it was worth it.
I'll cover the other events in a later post but for the moment Pixie needs some cuddles.
I have debated about posting this.
Friday, June 4, 2010
For a while.
***A disclaimer***
This is not a "see how mean my parents were" post this is something that I have been tossing around in my head for years. literally years. I am hoping that by putting it out there I can let it go or maybe understand it a bit better.
Many many years ago. My dad and I were driving home and we were on Second Street in my home town, it was twilight and I commented how much I loved to read and write. My dad replied that I would never hold a candle to my sister for her reading ability.
I do not think my dad meant to hurt me by saying that. He, I believe, meant to praise my sisters talent at writing and reading. Truth be told, she is a GIFTED journalist and reads voraciously. His purpose in saying that to me, I may never know; but I do know that it stayed with me for more than 20 years. I know that I never will be as good at things as my sister.
It may not have effected my so much if it were one comment in isolation, but it was everything. Never was I ever good at something. Someone was always better.
So now people are reading what I write I am over the moon about it. Like maybe I can do something after all
***A disclaimer***
This is not a "see how mean my parents were" post this is something that I have been tossing around in my head for years. literally years. I am hoping that by putting it out there I can let it go or maybe understand it a bit better.
Many many years ago. My dad and I were driving home and we were on Second Street in my home town, it was twilight and I commented how much I loved to read and write. My dad replied that I would never hold a candle to my sister for her reading ability.
I do not think my dad meant to hurt me by saying that. He, I believe, meant to praise my sisters talent at writing and reading. Truth be told, she is a GIFTED journalist and reads voraciously. His purpose in saying that to me, I may never know; but I do know that it stayed with me for more than 20 years. I know that I never will be as good at things as my sister.
It may not have effected my so much if it were one comment in isolation, but it was everything. Never was I ever good at something. Someone was always better.
So now people are reading what I write I am over the moon about it. Like maybe I can do something after all
Huh, how'd that happen
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Told you I am behind. Things are just super busy.
Anyway Princess is now six years old. This was a hard birthday for me. Six. Seems so much older than five...like moving from 'kid' to 'big kid'. Her first birthday was excited and sad because well, it is her first birthday... but this one? This one was leaving the realm of 'little kid' behind.
She is so independent and grown up. She takes showers, she rides a two wheeler, she gets her own juice, she does almost EVERYTHING by herself. Parenting is working yourself out of a job but I am kinda sad to see the little girl I rinsed with a watering can in the bathtub(no hand held shower) grow into this pretty, intelligent, sensitive, kind, genuine, and joyful young lady.
I am so proud of her. She is so smart and so amazing.. I do not know how or why I was so blessed.
It is better than TV
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Ok So I am behind on my blogging. Well ok I know. It is busy. It is summer (kind of).
Last week (or was it 2 weeks ago)whenever. After the Mother's Day that set the bar for next year pretty darn low... my car had to go get fixed. The sexy minivan.
It was gone for nearly a week to get repaired. In that week I learned a whole new appreciation for my minivan.
When they called to say it was ready I was ecstatic. Getting it home would be a challenge though. Thankfully, the shop offered to drop off my car. I was thrilled. Let the waiting commence.
When it was finally dropped off- it was towed here on the back of a flat-bed tow truck.
What happened next was so comical. My children lined up and sat down in the grass with my neighbors two children and their guests all joined them. They were almost in line by height. They sat riveted as the driver unloaded my van. It was entrancing. My children had never seen a car loaded or unloaded from a tow truck before so it was all new. The intensity with which they watched was unparalleled.
As soon as the tow truck left though they went back to playing as if nothing had happened.
So my car is back and repaired. Yay! I am hoping and praying I don't need to visit a repair shop for a long time.
Last week (or was it 2 weeks ago)whenever. After the Mother's Day that set the bar for next year pretty darn low... my car had to go get fixed. The sexy minivan.
It was gone for nearly a week to get repaired. In that week I learned a whole new appreciation for my minivan.
When they called to say it was ready I was ecstatic. Getting it home would be a challenge though. Thankfully, the shop offered to drop off my car. I was thrilled. Let the waiting commence.
When it was finally dropped off- it was towed here on the back of a flat-bed tow truck.
What happened next was so comical. My children lined up and sat down in the grass with my neighbors two children and their guests all joined them. They were almost in line by height. They sat riveted as the driver unloaded my van. It was entrancing. My children had never seen a car loaded or unloaded from a tow truck before so it was all new. The intensity with which they watched was unparalleled.
As soon as the tow truck left though they went back to playing as if nothing had happened.
So my car is back and repaired. Yay! I am hoping and praying I don't need to visit a repair shop for a long time.
Gahhh!!!! STOP CALLING
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Please telemarketers. Please Please STOP. SEVEN 7 calls today to tell me that the privacy settings on my bank account had changed. 7 SEVEN. I have four kids. I answer the phone- silence. Silence. for 40 seconds nothing. nada. then the computer. thank you computer. Really appreciate it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
