Saturday, June 19, 2010

Not with regards to schedules or physically. I am talking about a far less beneficial form of flexibility.

I am a master of becoming who I think others want me to be. I conform to what perceive they want in me. I am convinced that I will never be enough as I am. I will never be good enough, I will never be likable. So I bend who I am to suit the situation. I can be a club hopping rocker chick, a nerd, a whatever. My life has been a series of roles that I step into.

With some help, people are trying to convince me that I do not need to play a role. I can just be. easy to say right? Not so easy to do. I do not know who or what 'I' am. I have been stepping into different roles as long as I can remember. And I do not remember my childhood- save for brief snippets. So who I am is somewhat of a mystery even to me. What do I like? What have I just 'liked' to be accepted?

So I am going to try. I am going to figure this out. Maybe.


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