This is hard to write

I have encountered in the past few weeks some very painful and unexpected health problems- I'll cover those in a separate post but I am having a hard time facing giving up my pole dancing classes. My back hurts and it is not likely to improve a lot until I have some kind of surgical intervention.

Which forces me to consider giving up- temporarily- pole dancing. This crushes me. I love my classes. I love that time. I will miss it and my friends. I will miss the confidence I am building and all the amazing growth I have accomplished.

Is it wise though to dance when it hurts? Is it wise to push through? If I don't push through I will not learn any new tricks. Is it wise to spend the money and not be learning?

For the past 4 months Tuesdays have been my night. Tuesdays have been pole dancing. They are what I count down to each week. They are what I look forward to. Taking that away is depressing.

Here is the thing though- I will not be able to give it my best until after surgery; even then I'll need some time to recover.

One of my big fears in giving it up is losing my place with my class. I love the girls in my class. LOVE THEM. I count them as friends. Would I be able to bond with another class like that? Would I want too?

help.