I figured it out!

There are times- well frequently have times that the children listen to what I say then they do the exact opposite- or something equally as insane. So I have no idea why they do not listen or pretend to listen!

Until today- when it finally hit me- like a ton of bricks- or shoes. When I wanted the kids to put their shoes on so we could go run errands and you guessed it they didn't. They scattered but somehow 'please put your shoes on' translates to 'go and do something else on the opposite end of the house.' Which leads me to my recent revelation. They must speak a different language than English. What they speak I have not figured out yet as soon as I do I will order the Rosetta Stone cd of it so I can communicate in child more efficiently.