Body Image Issues

Thursday, June 2, 2011

on a good day my body image resembles a pile of dog crap. I can point out a dozen flaws in myself if I am being conservative.

This is a vast improvement for me.

However, in the past few days I have been having a really difficult time with it. Doing the "I am fat, I have fat thighs, my bum giggles"... Most notably my face is fat.

This can be the beginning of a slide towards re-emergence of my eating issues.

This week I also took a step towards self destruction. I learned my weight at the doctors office and proceeded to obsess about it. I did not like the number.

In Colorado, the hotel gym had a scale- I stepped on it. My weight was significantly less even though nothing had changed. My reaction was typical.. instead of accepting my weight for what it was, I was convinced that the scale had to be drastically off. So I grabbed 2 25lb weights and put them on the scale to see how much the scale was off. It was only 2lbs off. So either the scale in the doctors office is wrong or the scale and the weights are wrong in Colorado. Whats more is, this was now five days ago and I am still thinking about it almost constantly.

This could get interesting


Jayme said...

I weighed myself the other day for pretty much the first time since having the twins 2 yrs ago- it wasn't pretty. I am so not happy with myself.

LBDDiaries said...

Oh man I can SO relate. One thing I have learned since I gained this weight is that I think about it constantly and it affects every area of my life. I want to be back to the point in life where it is a non-issue!!

Your post is very eye-opening and points out that I need to get BACK on my program and work until I am satisfied with my body (no matter what the #'s say). Thank you for being so open and honest! Visiting from SITS comment section.

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