Thursday, June 2, 2011

As a Chicago area resident mountains are not part of my daily landscape.

Since I was really little I have loved them though. We would frequently visit Colorado to play in them and some of the best memories of my life are in the Rocky Mountains.

Then came Utah

My associations with mountains changed a little. Everyday, I would get up and see the Wasatch Range out my window with Mount Timpanogous out the window. The mountains became so much more than just jutting rocks. They carried a symbolism for me they are forever intertwined with my Utah time in my mind. They mountains are synonymous with an eating disorder, with treatment, with getting better... getting worse.. so much that I do not have the words to come close to describing. They do, in my mind, equate to my life changing.

There was some anxiety associated with going back to the Rockies for me. Some mornings when I used to work full-time there would be clouds on the horizon and they would resemble mountains. My breath would catch and I would need to gather myself. How would it be to be back there?

The mountains were amazing. Filled with the majestic beauty that they always have been. I watched them come into view from the plane and was drawn back to 1999 for a moment.

Outside the mountains were even prettier. Walking a long the trails and marveling in the shear size of them is absolute evidence of G-d at work.

I did not want to leave. The mountains have some sort of magnetism for me. Maybe someday, I can move out there. I would love it. Living in the mountains seems like home. I feel more at home there. Odd. Yes. But it just does. Somethings- just fit.


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