Wednesday, September 30, 2009

and I am not saying please this time!

So my mom responsibilities some how include being a GPS of sorts for all types of belongings- shoes- cups- DVDs- you name it I am asked to locate it. This is in addition to the standard list of household crap that I am expected to do- cooking/cleaning/shopping/making sure people make it to school- in clothes that are a) clean b)weather appropriate and c) at least somewhat match- et al.

This one gets to me. It is not MY sippy cup- I do not know where you put it- no I am not getting you another one to lose. Shoes. I hate shoes. Princess must have 15 pairs of shoes. Yesterday she could not find ONE matching pair of shoes. Not a single pair. There is a bin under the bed where ALL shoes belonging to anyone under age 20 are supposed to be put- it is there home- do shoes end up there??? NO! not unless I put them there. Several times a day I ask and remind people to please put their belongings away as I cannot be responsible for everything all of the time. Does it happen?? big fat NO.

I can tell Stinky or Princess where something is and they can not find it- still- even though it is plain sight. If it is not about to leap into their hands it must be invisible. This goes for all sorts of objects. and it bothers me. a lot. is it a big deal? in the long run no- not really- but it is a habit I would really like to break sooner rather than later. Heaven forbid I send people into the world like my husband who would WAKE me up at 5 am to find HIS keys that he had mislaid- so he could go to work. I will not willingly do that to another person.

In attempt to do that I instituted a new rule that will be applied in degrees relative to the child's age- if it is not mine and you can't find it- not my problem- no shoes? I hope it is not cold out.
Can't find your cup? oh well.

Natural consequences to seem to work best for my children seeing how behavior is relative to things.


Atwood-Family of 4 said...

Along the lines of natural consequences, what about rewards and/or punishments? More specifically, I was thinking rewards-Princess and Stinky are probably old enough to get chores-maybe make them a chart w/ the list of things they need to do that day-putting shoes away one of them! and figure out some sort of system where each chore or sticker is worth something. Or an outright allowance, the catch being they have to do all their chores.

And of course, the opposite might be just outright punishment. You find the shoes one time, warn them if you need to find them again then punishment X happens and then you are scott free the rest of the day! If they ask you, X happens. (At least Princess would be old enough to get this, stinky is probalby right one the brink but I'd guess he could get it too.) Good luck-whatever you choose i hope you find something that works for you guys! And your sanity!

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