ClassicHusband Stories

Recently I had the pleasure of listening to several of my married friends discuss their husbands parenting prowess I and I was reminded of two classic stories of my husband.

Even at his peak B was never a great hands on parent. Seriously not his forte but here are two stories about his parenting that make me simultaneously annoyed and make me laugh.

1- The kids always preferred me to put them to bed. Nursing---rocking---singing--- what have you I was the preferred method of delivery...understandably I got a bit tired of being the kids version of Ambien. Occasionally I would ask that he take a turn and be the Sominex. Inevitably he would fall asleep usually with Stinky who would come downstairs and tell me he put dada to bed and we could snuggle now.

One night I was under a dog pile of children and I reached out and smacked my snoring husband and requested help. He took the 2 oldest back to bed; the youngest stayed with me. Again Daddy went to sleep with Stinky and he came back to bed with me and Princess came into bed with me because Daddy was making too much noise.

2- My husband had always been a wuss. Well to me at least. One day he was not feeling well..he was tired so he stayed home. After the kids and I had suffered through the stomach flu all week...he was not feeling well. Never mind that I was nursing, and tired and the stomach flu just put me over the edge. One day in particular I remember my stomach hurt so bad I could not stand up straight...I begged him to come home early or stay home no go. He asked if I would be ok that day....I answered to I have a choie... course not so I was even more annoyed for him asking... did he come home early to help? nope. he left dinner dishes for me to do...he left a mess in the den...he left a bowl full of screws in full grasp of the baby...and the next day...he felt yucky. FUCK HIM. Sorry.... but seriously. he felt gross? too bad. so did I..I got through it. I managed. Granted I had to drive 70 mph home one day but...I made it. So could he. I asked him to take something for his discomfort--- pepto-bismol or something. he replied... we did not have anything.....of course not....it was not going to jump into his hands.... looking for things was not his strong point.