the name game

Monday, April 27, 2009

Some people know the saga with my MIL.. If you don't suffice it to say we have not always gotten along.. there was for a while out right animosity; which has now become just general uncomfortableness.

She wants me to call her 'Mom' or 'Mrs.Marriedlastname' I was very very confused by this. I was planning on being on a first name basis. That confused her. I have never called adults Mrs. or Mr. save for teachers. Especially now that we are both 'adults' calling someone Mrs. or Mr. seems particularly odd. Not to mention that I have the same last name as her from the same family so it would be calling someone Mrs. Mylastname. (even know no one calls me that, thank heavens) That to me just seems bizarre.

'Mom' presents a whole other basket of issues. My mother and father and I have quite a timultuous history. We have had to work hard to get where we are and without them I would not be the mom I am nor would I have survived me teen years. So calling her 'mom' in someway takes away from the meaning that is 'mom'. She is not my mom. She never will be my mom...it makes me uncomfortable to call her mom.

But she does not want to be called by her first name. What is a daughter-in-law to do?

6 comments:

Atwood-Family of 4 said...

weird! J and I both call our MILs by their first names-here's what you do-just start to call her by her first name, make nothing of it, and in a few months after you calling her that it will seem second nature to her. :)

Just Me said...

I did that. She called me out on it

erin said...

have you said any of this to her? maybe if she sees where you are coming from, she'll understand? or is there a better chance of pigs flying out of her ass?

p.s. we call our MIL's by their first name.

pb and jazz said...

I called mine nothing. I just make sure they were looking at me when I talk to them. Finally we made it to a first name basis. It was weird. I agree about the mom thing. I could never call my MIL mom.

felicia said...

May I suggest simply speaking to her as little as possible? ;)

I wonder how she'd feel about "Mommy Dearest"?

Please tell me you're not too young to know what that is!

Just Me said...

lol yes i know mommy dearest....

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