the name game

Some people know the saga with my MIL.. If you don't suffice it to say we have not always gotten along.. there was for a while out right animosity; which has now become just general uncomfortableness.

She wants me to call her 'Mom' or 'Mrs.Marriedlastname' I was very very confused by this. I was planning on being on a first name basis. That confused her. I have never called adults Mrs. or Mr. save for teachers. Especially now that we are both 'adults' calling someone Mrs. or Mr. seems particularly odd. Not to mention that I have the same last name as her from the same family so it would be calling someone Mrs. Mylastname. (even know no one calls me that, thank heavens) That to me just seems bizarre.

'Mom' presents a whole other basket of issues. My mother and father and I have quite a timultuous history. We have had to work hard to get where we are and without them I would not be the mom I am nor would I have survived me teen years. So calling her 'mom' in someway takes away from the meaning that is 'mom'. She is not my mom. She never will be my mom...it makes me uncomfortable to call her mom.

But she does not want to be called by her first name. What is a daughter-in-law to do?