Pole positivity

One of the things that attracted me most to pole was Kristin's dedication to positivity. She has a studio policy that students and instructors are not to be negative. 

I have never experienced a woman being negative towards another woman.  In class we are always cheering each other on and encouraging each other.  Clearly, I cannot speak to other women's experiences, but I tend to be negative towards myself.  I will say "I can't".  I will be self deprecating.  I will neglect my strengths and compare myself to others.  Often, I don't even realize it is happening. 

Well, now I noticed it.  And I will stop it. Pole is so much more fun, as is life in general when we focus on our strengths and abilities rather than what we are still working on. 

It is so easy to fall back into the habit of negativity towards myself.  I hardly even notice it is happening, until I see my attitude being sour and grumpy.

I am putting this out there as a reminder to me and to anyone else who reads this- you are amazing as you are.  You are strong. You are beautiful. You are smart.

Marion Amber pole practice

This last session in pole was hard!! I was not there very often but still managed to learn a few great new tricks!

We also got a new instructor.  I adore my old instructor, M. I count her as one of my dear friends, and she is crazy awesome.  Our new instructor has a different way of explaining things, and while I still feel painfully awkward around her, I think this can be a great journey.  K is amazing and I can't wait to learn from her.

I have a solid cartwheel, a solid twisted grip lift, and last night I got my first ever aerial shoulder mount and my first ever Marion Amber.

Its odd, I had never really tried the Marion Amber before at the studio. I just decided to go for it, it looked challenging and fun so I figured I'd give it a go.  I did and I got it. This 'getting' it has not happened for a while.  I have had to work on and troubleshoot trick after trick for a while, which is a great lesson in perseverance.

That said, I will not be throwing a Marion Amber or an aerial shoulder mount into my freestyle anytime soon, I still need to work them and get super comfortable with them.  But I can do them and that feels awesome.

Now That's a Pole Class

After last weeks not so great class, a toe injury, sick kids, and just general exhaustion, I was apprehensive about class.

I actually considered not going.  I was not feeling 100%- I felt tired and kind of like I was coming down with something.

Honestly, I had been having a really hard time being patient with everyone lately and I figured getting out would allow me to refocus myself even if I did not have a great class, as it turned out I had a great, amazing, awesome class.

It would have been a HUGE mistake to stay home.

I had an amazing class.

From the beginning of class I was able to get into it.  Yes my toe hurt. I was more slippery than EVER before.  I was weaker than normal.  Something about it was just right.

We were going to review a few tricks that I wanted get better at, one of them involved sitting on your non-dominant hand.  See after my wrist injury, doing things that put a great deal of stress on my wrist are often quite painful.  Instead of just gritting my teeth and doing the trick, I opted to hop out of it, and try it with my other wrist down.  My right wrist was strong enough and I was able to do it, just fine. 

The other big thing that happened in class is- I took my glasses off to dance.  I never take my glasses off-- really only to sleep and shower am I without them.  I need to be able to see.  I need to have an escape route.  Much like I need to have windows that I can see out of all the time- I need to have the ability to get out of somewhere fast. 

I took my glasses off and had a great dance. 

an open letter about Tease

An open letter to Kristin

Dear Kristin,

A year ago (a whole year- and what a year it has been!) when I walked into Tease with J I was scared. I did not know what to expect.
I heard whooping and hollering from the studio and really started to panic--- clearly there was no way I could do this.

You led me. You started me on this journey that I did not expect. A journey that touched a part of me that I, and a lot of women, bury and stuff down: you began to guide me getting to know myself and my body, of not just accepting it but loving it, for all of its curves and strengths and weaknesses; of learning to listen to my heart and honor my needs instead of rushing to meet everyone's needs.

I was not ready to feel the sensuality that I felt. I was not ready to awaken that part of me. Good girls don’t do that right? Good girls do not feel pleasure from their bodies. The part of me that Tease has awakened has made me feel whole again. Tease has helped me to learn how to feel again; to allow myself to be vulnerable. This made me very uncomfortable and forced me to confront a lot of things that I had refused to deal with, but I had my safe place. So many of these things were not neat and pretty, they were messy and painful and all together unpleasant. Having Tease to facilitate this journey made so much of it possible.
More than that Tease has become my safe haven- no one messes with my Tuesday nights. They are MINE.

The Tease girls are not just my classmates who I see in an exercise class once a week- they are my friends, and I care deeply for them.
The ladies at Tease have supported me through an interesting year; one that has been rife with challenges. Because of the support of Tease I have made it through stronger and more confident. I hope that others have found me supportive and helpful on their journeys through life.

Thank you. Thank you so very much for sharing this. Thank you for all of it. I am looking forward to a fantastic second year.