Why saying you don't see color is BS.

Unless you are a dog or color blind... in which case- you're excused.

I have a lot of friends who are legitimately socially liberal people.  Good on them right?


One thing that they say with relative frequency is, "I don't see color-- I see the person."  I call bull crap.

It is insulting to everyone involved.  First- I felt guilty because- I'll admit- I do see color- and I don't judge them for it (duh) but I have to acknowledge that a person of color is going to have different day to day experiences than I do. To insinuate otherwise is insulting.

A person of color should be proud of their melanin. It does not define them, nor make them who they are-- but it is a part of their lives and influences them. It connects them to a deep rich history.

By saying "I don't see color" a person is insinuating that  they do not see the differences in life experiences that white people don't deal with- a friend of mine recently related a story of a traffic stop that was so insulting and so unbelievable (yet clearly true) I have no idea what to say!

To point.  I was pulled over recently.  I did not have a non expired insurance card on me- we have insurance, but the card was missing  The police office said not to worry about it- that he was sure I had insurance and let me know kindly my tail light was out. I bet this would not have happened this way for my friend.

So say that 'I don't see color' is saying that I don't see something that impacts so many aspects of a persons life, and that is insulting.

Sometimes the truth is hard to face

I used to pride myself on not being racist.  Then one day I had to face a really uncomfortable truth.  I am racist.  I am not color blind. My experiences as a white girl from the Chicago suburbs have impacted my worldview- I certainly do not believe that black (African American people are (insert negative adjective here).  I think we are all people- but I have to admit- even though it pains me to do so- that I have certain privileges that others do not.

One day, someone I don’t know questioned if one of the women I look up to most in the world for her intelligence, her pride, her willingness to discuss any topic honestly was called racist. 

Admittedly, I know absolute crap about the day to day experiences of black Americans- and I was (and am) concerned that I would stick my foot in my mouth again, or that my words as a white woman would not carry weight. Still I said something.

I said (typed) that my friend is not racist.  She is proud of her heritage (as she should be) angry that white do-gooders so often co-opt her very real day to day experiences in a self-serving manner, “Look at all of the good we are doing for these poor black folks” and it is crap. Complete and total bullshit. 

Honestly, I know exceptionally little about African cultures or day to day experiences of an average black person.  What I do know is that they are justified in their anger.  I know they do not need my help- they are quite capable.

What little I do know about African culture is amazing and beautiful.  Their cultures (the very few that I have learned about) have innate power, beauty, and incredible authenticity.   The last thing they need is my help.  White people have scripted Africa as a whole and people of color as marginalized people who require the saving of white people.  That is NOT true.  They do not need saving- they need to stop having this stupid script played over and over!

What I can do is to work in my community to help heal the wounds that we caused and continue to cause.  I can share within my community my respect for the black experiences, and help my community to realize that we really messed up- then hopefully work to earn the black community’s trust back.

I can never ‘get’ it though, saying otherwise is the worst kind of dishonest.

Let me be clear I do not hate black people (African American), Hispanic people, or anyone.