Pole Love

I have been a member of the pole community for a few years now.  This weekend was the first time I actually went to a show.... and I was floored and inspired.

Pole is amazing for a huge number of reasons and I am humbled and thankful to be part of an amazing community that supports, accepts, and loves one another.

I have been to workshops with my hip that was falling apart no one judged me- I was just encouraged.  I went to a workshop with a kidney issue and was struggling with everything- again no judgement.... just love and encouragement.

I am facing a scary surgery in a few days, and I have told a few pole people about it.  They have universally been so amazing and so supportive- and the all were asking me how I was before the show. 

The show was astounding.  It made me so happy to see so many people loving pole and sharing it with others- members of the pole community and non polers- it was so fantastic

There were women of all shapes and sizes performing and all were loved and cheered for (of course all of the performers were freaking incredible!).

I am inspired to love my body more-- despite it being a bit shitty sometimes.  I am inspired to give myself wholeheartedly to pole and my friends- not holding my heart back.

It was an awesome show and I can't wait for the next one

Kidney update

It came to a nephrectomy.  A radical step. Even the procedure name has 'radical' in it- Radical Nephrectomy.

It was not a decision that I made easily.  It took 4 years an a lot of attempts to fix it to get here, and now it is done.

I was left with 2 options: an ileal ureter and nephrectomy. The ileal ureter had the potential to save my kidney but was not a guarantee. The nephrectomy would cost me a kidney but would be the end of that kidney's drama.

The ileal ureter is a really involved operation and I was not a candidate for laparoscopy meaning a long incision lots of pain and a long recovery. With my clotting disorder- this would be really risky.  A nephrectomy being much a much simpler procedure and much less pain and time on recovery.

The surgery was a week ago tomorrow- and there is significant pain- but I feel better than I did before.  I don't feel sick.  I already feel better now than I did for the past few months before surgery.  

Losing my kidney has not negatively impacted my total renal function at this point, and after getting in there, my doctor completely agreed that the kidney had to go. 

So now to recover and make up for lost time... what am I going to do with all the time NOT spent in doctors offices? 

This summer is going to be great-- it has to be

I am looking forward to the summer.

First, this winter has been long- seemingly interminable. I am ready for a change- of course when at the end of summer I'll be ready for a change too.

This summer will be the first summer in 4 years I have not had to worry about my kidney being a brat- because in a week, it will cease to exist.

I am going to water ski, swim, go tubing, run, pole dance, go to the park, go to the beach, maybe even go camping.  This year will be great.  Finally. After 4 years of stents, surgeries, recoveries, lots of meds, ER visits, this year will be great. I can't wait.