Long time no write

Quite often as I am going through the day, I think of things I want to write about and even go about composing a post in my head.... then something else happens.  It is an occupational hazard of having a big family.

Have you ever noticed the "Mama feeling"?

The other day Princess came downstairs and said her throat was sore- not terribly sore just a bit scratchy.  My mama radar started dinging.  Something was off. She wasn't running a temperature and she was not acutely ill- something just seemed off.  I swear I felt like Ms. Clavel from the Madeline books.

I already had appointments for 2 kids at our doctor for that afternoon (we see a family practice doctor so we all see the same person) so I called and added her on.

She had strep. I talked with B and he said that he thought she seemed fine and would have sent her on her way. There was nothing concrete that I could say: this is why I took her to the doctor.  Just a feeling.  Its not the first time its happened either.

Does anyone else have mama gut? Or just a feeling something isn't right?

My unbroken heart

My right kidney is a pain. This is established. It has finally reached the point that it is safer to have it removed than to keep it.  Between infections, obstructions, pain it is better to get it out.

I went for my pre surgical clearance and my doctor did an EKG, I expected it to be fine; thought it was overkill and said that. 

It did not come back ok.  I had inverted T waves.  These have many different causes some really bad, some not so bad, and some benign entirely.  I was sent to a cardiologist and had a stress echo.  Again, expected this to show all was well. It didn't.  By this time I was terrified.

One of the things I have said many times, that if I had to have a an organ system with problems I am thankful that its my kidneys.  There are a lot of options for kidney issues- and if it progresses terribly, dialysis is an option (I am no where near that) but its nice to know it's there. Hearts are more scary. 

Of course having anxiety did not make this any easier. Panic was my constant companion.  Of course I went to the worst case scenario.. over and over.  I couldn't have a heart problem.  I am too healthy. Not possible. OMG, my kids, I was terrified of well, potentially dying. Obviously this was ridiculous, but it is how my brain works.

Tuesday I had a nuclear cardiac scan.  I was told if there was something wrong I would not be going home, but heading to the Cath Lab.  The doctors said it was more concerning because I have the clotting issues.

The doctor was very considerate, knowing that I was scared, was compassionate and read the test right away. There was no evidence of disease. I am fine. Cleared for surgery.  No cardiac issues.

My surgery was delayed, and I have to get a new date, and that is annoying.