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One of the things that attracted me most to pole was Kristin's dedication to positivity. She has a studio policy that students and instructors are not to be negative.
I have never experienced a woman being negative towards another woman. In class we are always cheering each other on and encouraging each other. Clearly, I cannot speak to other women's experiences, but I tend to be negative towards myself. I will say "I can't". I will be self deprecating. I will neglect my strengths and compare myself to others. Often, I don't even realize it is happening.
Well, now I noticed it. And I will stop it. Pole is so much more fun, as is life in general when we focus on our strengths and abilities rather than what we are still working on.
It is so easy to fall back into the habit of negativity towards myself. I hardly even notice it is happening, until I see my attitude being sour and grumpy.
I am putting this out there as a reminder to me and to anyone else who reads this- you are amazing as you are. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are smart.
Showing posts with label word choice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label word choice. Show all posts
A time to mourn
Saturday, July 27, 2013
I still can't really believe my grandmother is dead. Even the word has an empty, hollow, metallic, tone to it.
In the last few years of her life I was able to spend a good amount of time with her and I am forever grateful. She was never too busy for a chat or too busy for a visit.
Now, the kids will do something, and I think, "Oh Grandma will really get a kick out of that" but its me who gets a kick- she's dead.
The big thing that I wish I could tell her more about was Stinky going fishing. Her husband, my grandfather- one of the people Stinky is named for loved to fish. I wish I could sit with her and tell her more about it. She would have loved it. My brief- "He went fishing and actually caught fish!!!" does not do it justice. Grandma would have laughed at how excited he was and laughed when I told her how awful I was at baiting the hook for him.
One thing that stays with me is, the last time she was in the hospital and I was with her she was begging me to 'unfasten' her restraints. First, who uses unfasten-- why not just say take them off? Down to the word choice it was perfectly her. Second, the angel of a nurse let me take off her restraints as long as I was with her- of course- then I would stay for the next few hours, because tying her back to the bed was the last thing that she wanted (or I wanted).
She also asked for a handkerchief. Not a tissue. A handkerchief. Small choices in the word choice made her-- her.
After she had her handkerchief and was relaxed I read to her from Tom Sawyer- I didn't know any authors she liked but figured Tom Sawyer was a safe bet.
My grandmother was a wonderful woman. An amazing person.
In the last few years of her life I was able to spend a good amount of time with her and I am forever grateful. She was never too busy for a chat or too busy for a visit.
Now, the kids will do something, and I think, "Oh Grandma will really get a kick out of that" but its me who gets a kick- she's dead.
The big thing that I wish I could tell her more about was Stinky going fishing. Her husband, my grandfather- one of the people Stinky is named for loved to fish. I wish I could sit with her and tell her more about it. She would have loved it. My brief- "He went fishing and actually caught fish!!!" does not do it justice. Grandma would have laughed at how excited he was and laughed when I told her how awful I was at baiting the hook for him.
One thing that stays with me is, the last time she was in the hospital and I was with her she was begging me to 'unfasten' her restraints. First, who uses unfasten-- why not just say take them off? Down to the word choice it was perfectly her. Second, the angel of a nurse let me take off her restraints as long as I was with her- of course- then I would stay for the next few hours, because tying her back to the bed was the last thing that she wanted (or I wanted).
She also asked for a handkerchief. Not a tissue. A handkerchief. Small choices in the word choice made her-- her.
After she had her handkerchief and was relaxed I read to her from Tom Sawyer- I didn't know any authors she liked but figured Tom Sawyer was a safe bet.
My grandmother was a wonderful woman. An amazing person.
No Hate
Friday, November 30, 2012
Hate is one word that we do not use in our house.
It is one of the words that I do not let my kids say. We also avoid words such as stupid, dumb, retard, gay, etc
Honestly, I do not mind nearly as when the kids say other inappropriate words, such as the 'f word', but that has only happened a few times, mostly because I said it when I broke a toe.
Why do we not say hate??
Hate is too strong. Hate, to me, is associated with violence. Violence in general is something I seek actively to avoid.
It may be harmless so to speak to say you hate coconut (for example)- but really do you hate coconut or do you just really really intensely dislike it. Hate is just too strong of a word to use.
What words do you not use?
It is one of the words that I do not let my kids say. We also avoid words such as stupid, dumb, retard, gay, etc
Honestly, I do not mind nearly as when the kids say other inappropriate words, such as the 'f word', but that has only happened a few times, mostly because I said it when I broke a toe.
Why do we not say hate??
Hate is too strong. Hate, to me, is associated with violence. Violence in general is something I seek actively to avoid.
It may be harmless so to speak to say you hate coconut (for example)- but really do you hate coconut or do you just really really intensely dislike it. Hate is just too strong of a word to use.
What words do you not use?
Can you do something???
Thursday, July 5, 2012
I have a really hard time with 'can' vs. 'can't'.
For example: when I hurt my wrist. Could I do xyz?? Well I could- but would hurt a lot. Then I get yelled at for saying I could do something when I couldn't... Shouldn't there be a qualifier there? "Can you do this with out pain?"
Another one, can you drive to my parents house for lunch? Technically, yes I could. It is not reasonable, but it could be done. Sooooo what is the answer? Am I supposed to say, "Yes, I could- but I would have to leave very early"
I can never tell! What do you do?
For example: when I hurt my wrist. Could I do xyz?? Well I could- but would hurt a lot. Then I get yelled at for saying I could do something when I couldn't... Shouldn't there be a qualifier there? "Can you do this with out pain?"
Another one, can you drive to my parents house for lunch? Technically, yes I could. It is not reasonable, but it could be done. Sooooo what is the answer? Am I supposed to say, "Yes, I could- but I would have to leave very early"
I can never tell! What do you do?
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