When you lose it

Face it.  Kids can be frustrating and overwhelming.  I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and irritated.  Its life.

I try not to lose my patience with my kids, but honestly- it is hard.  It is really hard.  There are 5 of them 1 of me, 2 dogs, and 2 cats.  I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.

And therein lies the problem.  I am not fighting anything unless I choose to. Nothing really needs to be a fight.

But like all plans- they go awry and sometimes I end up yelling.  So what then?  I want to be a peaceful parent who utilizes non-violent communication.  That sense of failure makes me even more mad and frustrated- which begins a frustration spiral and basically becomes a big mess.

So what gives?

a)  try not to lose your patience,sometimes I end up having a glass of water or walking up and down the driveway to calm myself down until I can address the issue.

b) figure out exactly what is frustrating you.  Is it that the kids are being loud?   Work on addressing the core issue.

c) if you yell- and you very well may.  Apologize.  Humbling yourself in front of your kids teaches them a valuable lesson.  It teaches them that grownups are not perfect, that they are worthy respect, and that grownups care about them

So don't despair if you end up yelling.  Try again.  

Tea

When I was little my mom would invite our neighbor over for tea- daily it seemed- or we would go there.

While they talked, the neighbor's son and I would play. 

I learned to love tea.  I associate the warmth of tea with cozy, intimate friendships, that distance cannot impede.

When I was really little my mom gave me tea with milk and sugar.  Then honey. Now I drink tea like she does- almost room temperature plain.

Tea will always make me feel closer to my mom.  I like that feeling.  At the moment there are two mugs (empty) sitting next to me- and those are only the cups I have not put in the sink today.

Even though there are times I would have thrown the mugs at my mom rather than sit and have a cup of tea with her, I am really so thankful I have those memories with her.

I hope I can foster that kind of relationship with my kids (maybe without the tea throwing part).