Tears

why can I not cry?? There seems to be something that is preventing me from crying these days even though I desperately want and need to.. I cannot seem to get that relief. I would love the release short lived though it may be of a few tears. truth be told I have not ever been a crier. I have been a bury it and move on. Now my emotional landfill seems to be overflowing and I am barricaded from doing anything with it. I become irritable and snippy and take it out on people who do not deserve it. I would love to just sit and let tears flow why can't I?? Why? Tense. Tired. all of it but no more tears. Why??

no that is not a hicky on my neck

it is marker. I swear. I had some interesting looks dropping Princess off at school especially after the encounter of last week. So lo and behold after arriving at home I notice that in a very strategic area of my neck there is some blue kind of smeared around a bit. I burst out laughing realizing what the other parents were staring at and trying to ignore like a large piece of spinach in one's teeth.

First of all who would give me a hicky?? Come on now. But it was funny. I swear it is just marker.

Accidentally High

As I adjust my halo I'll say that I have NEVER done illegal drugs or used drugs improperly. I would not know where to get drugs if I was ever so inclined.

Yesterday I had a massive headache. Seriously wretched. I thought I had some left over ibuprofen 800 from having Peas so I figured I would take that to at least take the edge off. Mind you after delivering all three of my children the most I took was an extra strength acetaminophen...so I went to the bathroom not looking at the packet and took one. I did not think another thing of it. It did take care of my headache. Really Really quickly and entirely. It was great. A bit later I started to feel really tired and really slap happy. Again never thought anything of it.

Later it was pointed out to me that what I thought was ib 800 was actually Tylenol with codeine. huh. well that explains it. I should be grateful I had already returned from my errands for the day and did not endanger anyone.

March 4 2009

Nothing of any importance just a fun day. We met a friend and her new beautiful baby- helped her use a ring sling, then went to our favorite toy store ever.

Gepetto's Toy Box in Oak Park is as far as my children are concerned the best place in the world (okay, I like it too- they have the best toys). Stinky loves the Thomas layout Princess loves the dollhouse. Peas loves the stuffed animals. The toys there are the toys that I feel good about giving and getting. They encourage imagination. Watching my children use their imagination to play is like a window into another world. A world where there are princesses, fairies, talking trains, castles all of the wonders of childhood. It makes me happy.

I also found another carrier that I want. I would love a BabyHawk. It was more comfortable than I had anticpated and very pretty...just need to sell something to buy one. Carriers are my purses or shoes. Pretty, fun, and useful. Youd would not catch me spending $400 on a bag, but $200 on a carrier is within the realm of possible.

Today will be another nice day... Time to play outside!

Tattle Tale

I am so over, and I mean SOOOOO over the tattle phase. Frequently through out the day I am informed that 'Stinky is..." followed by something. Most recently it was 'Is he supposed to have a potato chip???' ughhh I need to learn how to impress upon her there are somethings that are 'tattle taling' and somethings I genuinely need to know about.

the other current issue is manipulation. she tricks him into things. He follows blindly. It makes me so angry for him. She is very smart. He is very sweet. Perfect match no??

Don't get me wrong Stinky does his fair share of pushing too. Following directions is not particularly a strong suit of his. He is at the two year old stage where testing limits is what he does best.

Cue the Calvary

This is a delayed post. I needed to emotionally recover before I posted about the fun that was last Thursday.

Thursday Princess has school. School is a bit difficult because Stinky 'misses his princess' and is not thrilled to be with out her. It was also raining a lot.

Anyway. Our basement floods when it rains a lot. 12 hours of rain at a fairly steady pace qualify as a lot. So...the flooding started. My mother was there. Which was great actually because I needed the help to keep track of kids while I started the shop vac process. Unfortunately the water was coming in faster than the shop vacs could suck it out.... it was a loosing battle. But like James Paul Jones "I have not yet begun to fight!!". So I called in the Calvary. UT. I called and begged...okay demanded. In my best mom no nonsense voice informed him that I needed help.... sandbags actually... and he came...I swear I heard the bugle charge when he pulled up... through the pouring rain I heard him come. Anyway. The basement is dry.. the 70 lb sandbag is still in the middle of it but it is dry.

Do you ever

Have you ever loved someone so much that it physically hurts?? My family is that way to me. I adore them. Adore them. I need them. Absolutely I have to have them even when they can be annoying. They are everything to me.