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When I was a kid we had playgrounds that would never be allowed today. The climbing things were giant, and wood with splinters, cushioned with pea gravel. The slides were metal and in the summer could be scorching hot.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Truth be told I kinda miss the days of "living on the edge" in the playground.
But as safety standards have evolved products have also evolved. At a playground near my parents house the surface is made of ruberecyle- or recycled tires chopped up into rubber mulch. It is actually pretty cool. It is very cushy to land on (I may have tested that accidentally). Tires used to be one of the banes of a green-living person. I remember being lectured on how awful they were- so how cool that something is being done with them.
Being that this is April- the month of Earth day and all things green are inherently in now I looked a little more into this trend. I was so surprised to see that they offer Equestrian Arena Footing. This is pretty great. When I would ride in the summer the sand and dust would be unbearable often we had to water the arena to keep the dust from choking the horses and riders.
Mistakes
Everyone makes them right?
Thins spill, get broken, get messed up, it happens its life.
When I make a mistake I am gripped with fear an anxiety. When I was a kid, and I would make a mistake my parents would be mad at me- like I was not supposed to make them. Which led me to try and hide any mistake I would make and appear perfect. This failed. For a long time I honestly believed that no one else was as clumsy or scatterbrained or stupid as I was.
When my friend told me about doing something as a child and then going to tell her parents about it voluntarily I was floored, "wouldn't they be mad?" I asked. They weren't they expected help cleaning it up, but did not degrade or chastise her for it.
I however would live in fear of my parents finding out, I did not want them to be mad or disappointed.
So now I am a mother myself and when things get spilled (as happens all the time) I do not want them to be afraid or feel like less of a person. I want them to learn from the mistake and then help clean it up or fix it. But I still struggle with my knee jerk reaction to get crabby about it and to yell at my kids about it, and I have had to apologize more than once for my poor reaction
To point, yesterday, Princess spilled a large smoothie in my room it splattered everywhere. Initially, I started to yell. Then I took a deep breath and asked her what happened, she told me, and we cleaned it up together, no harm no foul.
I hope that my kids will not inherit the fear of mistakes that I have. I hope they will have the self confidence to know that mistakes happen and that I will always love them no matter what.
Thins spill, get broken, get messed up, it happens its life.
When I make a mistake I am gripped with fear an anxiety. When I was a kid, and I would make a mistake my parents would be mad at me- like I was not supposed to make them. Which led me to try and hide any mistake I would make and appear perfect. This failed. For a long time I honestly believed that no one else was as clumsy or scatterbrained or stupid as I was.
When my friend told me about doing something as a child and then going to tell her parents about it voluntarily I was floored, "wouldn't they be mad?" I asked. They weren't they expected help cleaning it up, but did not degrade or chastise her for it.
I however would live in fear of my parents finding out, I did not want them to be mad or disappointed.
So now I am a mother myself and when things get spilled (as happens all the time) I do not want them to be afraid or feel like less of a person. I want them to learn from the mistake and then help clean it up or fix it. But I still struggle with my knee jerk reaction to get crabby about it and to yell at my kids about it, and I have had to apologize more than once for my poor reaction
To point, yesterday, Princess spilled a large smoothie in my room it splattered everywhere. Initially, I started to yell. Then I took a deep breath and asked her what happened, she told me, and we cleaned it up together, no harm no foul.
I hope that my kids will not inherit the fear of mistakes that I have. I hope they will have the self confidence to know that mistakes happen and that I will always love them no matter what.
Same dream slight variation
Thursday, April 7, 2011
When I am stressed or feeling overwhelmed I often have dreams of Utah- of being trapped there. Typically, there are variations on characters- Alan is always there though. Last night, I had a new variation on the same dream, again, Alan was there, I was stuck there but this time there was an addition: my kids. They were with me, trapped also, and I was helpless to help them.
This dream was kind of strange for another reason: we got out. Somehow- I don't recall how it happened but we got out. This is the first time that has ever happened in a Utah dream.
This dream was kind of strange for another reason: we got out. Somehow- I don't recall how it happened but we got out. This is the first time that has ever happened in a Utah dream.
Default
Monday, April 4, 2011
It has been a stressful few weeks. Sick kids, tired mama, a friends tragedy... just a lot.
I was overwhelmed. Stressed... at my limit.
It is kind of easy to see when I get very stressed and overwhelmed. My eating changes, my tone changes, I have dreams about Utah, and I kind of reset to the Utah rules.
My clothes are folded to PCS structure, my bed is made to PCS structure; as I get more stressed more PCS things come out. I become obsessive about cleaning, schedule crazy.. it is interesting to say the least.
Defaulting to these behaviors is a lot better than the alternative of defaulting to more severe eating issues or other things.
It is a place that my brain can go into neutral for a while. So I can re-balance myself and deal with the issues at hand.
Do you have any default behaviors or habits that you do when stressed or overwhelmed?
I was overwhelmed. Stressed... at my limit.
It is kind of easy to see when I get very stressed and overwhelmed. My eating changes, my tone changes, I have dreams about Utah, and I kind of reset to the Utah rules.
My clothes are folded to PCS structure, my bed is made to PCS structure; as I get more stressed more PCS things come out. I become obsessive about cleaning, schedule crazy.. it is interesting to say the least.
Defaulting to these behaviors is a lot better than the alternative of defaulting to more severe eating issues or other things.
It is a place that my brain can go into neutral for a while. So I can re-balance myself and deal with the issues at hand.
Do you have any default behaviors or habits that you do when stressed or overwhelmed?
what would you do
Sunday, April 3, 2011
The other day I had to go to Costco. You must understand that going to Costco is a little hellish, a big warehouse bright lights, odd smells it is just overwhelming. The saving grace- at least it was not a weekend I had to go because I bought fruit and it went bad in like 2 days. So I had to get my butt there and return it.
After I returned it we took a walk around to see if anything else was begging to be bought (and to get the things that I forgot). After paying (I spent under $50!! a FIRST in my Costco history), I was loading the stuff in to my car Peas and Pixie were still in the double cart (awesome idea, Costco, love these), and a few people approached the kids.
One of the women asked if she could take a photo of my kids to show her grandchildren back in the Philippines... I was totally taken a back--- umm, well hmm. I know my kids are cute but in my little paranoia mind it seemed really weird. So of course I paused for a moment while I thought of a polite reply. When I looked up again the lady was posing for a photo with Peas and Pixie who were eating it all up.
You could have knocked me over with a feather.
The lady took out a photo book and started talking with Peas and Pixie about her grandchildren and showed us several pictures of them.
Honestly, I am not worried about the photo. Maybe that is naive but the way the lady talked, and was dressed (who wears a fur to Costco?)everything really did not make me nervous about her..
How could I have handled this better- while being polite?
After I returned it we took a walk around to see if anything else was begging to be bought (and to get the things that I forgot). After paying (I spent under $50!! a FIRST in my Costco history), I was loading the stuff in to my car Peas and Pixie were still in the double cart (awesome idea, Costco, love these), and a few people approached the kids.
One of the women asked if she could take a photo of my kids to show her grandchildren back in the Philippines... I was totally taken a back--- umm, well hmm. I know my kids are cute but in my little paranoia mind it seemed really weird. So of course I paused for a moment while I thought of a polite reply. When I looked up again the lady was posing for a photo with Peas and Pixie who were eating it all up.
You could have knocked me over with a feather.
The lady took out a photo book and started talking with Peas and Pixie about her grandchildren and showed us several pictures of them.
Honestly, I am not worried about the photo. Maybe that is naive but the way the lady talked, and was dressed (who wears a fur to Costco?)everything really did not make me nervous about her..
How could I have handled this better- while being polite?
A sprint
Friday, April 1, 2011
A day would just not be a day in this house without some level of chaos or insanity.
Of course, today ends in 'y' so we had our fair share.
In an effort to be the most awesome mama ever, I was going to take the kids to McDonalds for lunch.
Coats were on, hats were on, shoes were on, we were ready to go. White Fang was ready to go too. She put her paws up on the glass door and out she went. FYI, that dog is fast . A Siberian Husky, according to breed websites, has a strong desire to run... and run she did. Quickly.
I sprinted out of the house and down the road calling her she would stop, turn and keep going like it was all a big game. Someone saw her run by and me running after her and called the police on her phone.
After a few blocks I gave up sprinted back home to pile everyone in the car to go chase the dog. As I was on the phone with the police, she ran up to my car panting. I oped the door and she hopped in, tail wagging.
My first thought was "crap, again?" because she got out last week too.
Second thought was "F**K, I hope she doesn't get hit by a car."
We got her back though, and I got my exercise for the day.
Of course, today ends in 'y' so we had our fair share.
In an effort to be the most awesome mama ever, I was going to take the kids to McDonalds for lunch.
Coats were on, hats were on, shoes were on, we were ready to go. White Fang was ready to go too. She put her paws up on the glass door and out she went. FYI, that dog is fast . A Siberian Husky, according to breed websites, has a strong desire to run... and run she did. Quickly.
I sprinted out of the house and down the road calling her she would stop, turn and keep going like it was all a big game. Someone saw her run by and me running after her and called the police on her phone.
After a few blocks I gave up sprinted back home to pile everyone in the car to go chase the dog. As I was on the phone with the police, she ran up to my car panting. I oped the door and she hopped in, tail wagging.
My first thought was "crap, again?" because she got out last week too.
Second thought was "F**K, I hope she doesn't get hit by a car."
We got her back though, and I got my exercise for the day.
Memorial For Sweet Baby Rosemary
Our group of friends is pretty awesome.
One of the tech savvy members (not me- clearly) has put together a webpage for a memorial for her.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Please consider a donation of a few dollars to celebrate and remember the life of a sweet baby.
Memorial For Rosie
One of the tech savvy members (not me- clearly) has put together a webpage for a memorial for her.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Please consider a donation of a few dollars to celebrate and remember the life of a sweet baby.
Memorial For Rosie
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