Princess is 7

Well- we survived the NICU, the newborn days, the milestones, learning to walk, learning to talk, potty training, the terrible 2's, the unbelievable 3's, siblings arrival, loss, joy, and a million other twist on the road of life. We have made it. Intact (mostly).

As she moves from little kid years, to big kid, then tween years... I have watched her personality emerge from a gregarious kid with a fabulous smile, to a two year old with a will of iron, now to a big kid learning about the world and all of its complexities.

There are somethings that I do not talk with her about. For instance- this morning she saw a photo of Casey Anthony in the paper, and she asked about it. I could not bring myself to tell her the whole story. Instead, I told her that she may have done something very wrong and now the judge, jury, and lawyers were going to figure it out. A few years ago she would have asked if Ms. Anthony would get a time out. Now she asked if she was going to prison.

But she knows a lot. She picks up on a lot. She sees the subtext in things that a lot of adults miss.

Princess is fantastic to watch as she grows. I can't wait to see what the next year will bring.

Research....

I was asked to write a about an event in American History. When I was offered the project, I did not know what, specifically.

After accepting the project, I learned the topic was the Columbine Massacre. This is really hard.

Age-wise I would have been classmates with Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.

In Utah, some of the girls knew the boys... or at least knew of them.

All I can think about is how it happened in my perspective. Of all of the memories I have- this is one of the most clear. More clear than being told I was going home even.

This was a generational tragedy. The first tragedy that was widely covered by eyewitnesses on cell phones.

As a student- this shook me. As a pacifist this scared me. Now as a mother, this terrifies me.

I am glad that my kids are with me everyday. I am glad I am teaching them to honor and accept themselves.

More over I am sad. So so sad that this happened. So unable to address the enormity of what happened... what ever I say will not do justice to the reality.

As a person of faith I take comfort in knowing that G-d is looking after them. But that does not help the "why" or the loss or the tragedy.

How can I write about something that brings me back to being a kid- to watching it?

babysitters!

Finding babysitters is the bane of my existence... one of them anyway.

Asking the right questions is key, but I get tongue tied and have no idea what to say. I worry about asking the wrong things and offending the sitter. I worry about not asking enough, about asking too much, about well everything.

So I take the easy way out and borrow other friends sitters. I really hope I do not offend my friends, and I am certainly not trying to "sitter poach". I use sitters pretty rarely as the entire thing stresses me out so much.

We have one sitter who has become more of a friend than anything. The kids adore her, and I think she is great. We were super bummed when she went to college but we still get to see her on vacations.

My kids are picky about sitters, and they love her, they have a great time with her- I can say, "hey... she's coming over!" and their noses are plastered to the windows looking for her. When she arrives, they hardly notice when I am leaving- they are more annoyed when I return...

So we have been blessed. And good sitters do exist.

I Have A New Bible

... and I am only kind of kidding.

If you know my family you know that my kids are the very definition of spirited. For that matter- I have several traits that are characteristic of spirited people (who am I kidding- that book could have been written about me).

I got the book and started reading in an attempt at working with my kids. The book had be cracking up with laughter over so many things... the anecdotes reported about kids were things that I have been through almost exactly- or things that I put my parents through... on in particular caught my eye:

To paraphrase a kid told his parent it was not sunny outside.. (it was). The parent thought the child had lost his mind, and said that the sun clearly was shining. The parent and the child debated the sun shining or not shining fact for a few minutes. Finally, the kids said that the sun may be shining there- but it was not shining in China.

(I think I had that same debate yesterday)

Spirited kids are amazingly fun and amazingly joyful. They are also amazingly a lot. of everything.

Peas takes spirited to a new degree- one that I am not sure has ever been recorded. I have often said that she is intense, and that is exactly what spirited kids are. Everything has an intensity and an urgency to it... for a parent this is exhausting, especially with three other spirited kids to raise.

This book though gives me new perspective and helps me to understand myself better as well as the kids. So hopefully, we can learn to work better together.

7 is a lucky number

Tuesday Princess will be turning 7. I remember when she was turning 1- it does not seem like 6 whole years ago, but somehow it is. The saying is true, "the days are long but the years are short".

This birthday I am having a hard time with. 7 seems so old. So grown-up so big, so independent. It is sad you know? That good parenting is essentially working yourself out of a job.

7 just seems like she is so big even though 7 is not that much older than 6. There are no key responsibilities that come along with being 7- she does not get to drive, to vote, or to drink- and yet to me- 7 is a darn big deal.

In 7 years our lives have changed a lot. But where we are now is pretty good. Looking back- this journey has been so transforming. I am so blessed that G-d chose me to be her mama. Princess has been an amazing gift that I continue to be thankful for everyday.

A love affair

I am in love. I have been for a long time. It seems like forever really. My heart races, my pupils dilate, my breath quickens...no. come on. not that kind of love affair... really?? who has the time. Not this girl.

This is over books. Yes. Books.. the kind with spines that crack a little when you open them. The kind that have a hint of a musty aroma.

I went to the library today. It was a rare time when I only had one child with me. So I was able to go to the big peoples section as well as the kids section.

There is something romantic and magical about a library. So much brilliance in one building. The thoughts tracking the evolution of thoughts of beliefs. So much knowledge, so much history... it is humbling.

I can spend all day wandering in the library, and I almost always find a new subject that peaks my interest.

Even the children's section is awesome. I can remember many nights spent in the library. I can remember more about my childhood by remembering the books I read. The Saddle Club, The Babysitters Club, Sweet Valley Twins, The Thoroughbred Series, and more.... I can even remember being in preschool and getting WordBird books.

Yup. I am a booknerd.

Tire Irons + Laptops = Not Good

Seven years ago I never would have noticed if my laptop was getting fixed I never would have noticed it because well I did not have one.

But now, I missed it. It was like missing part of me.

My laptop had an unfortunate run in with a tire iron on the floor of a car. The case broke, the hinges broke. My computer had to go to the computer hospital. I sent it off.

It took forever. Months! maybe not months but it sure seemed like it. In reality, it took a week. But it was a loooonnggg week.

Now my computer is back. I have been re-united with my other half.