oh come on, THAT was funny.

I like 90% of the world love The Bloggess. Her wine slushie idea is enough to make me want to ask her out.. it is shear genius.

She is freaking hysterical. I wish I could be that funny. I wish I could think of 1/10 of the things to say she does. When I do try humor it falls flat and heavy- like my big mixmaster on my foot (incidentally- how one of my children learned the word that rhymes with duck)

But I can't, you see. I am just not that funny. Even when drunk- and everyone is funny when drunk. Much like the "decorator" gene or the "able to put together outfit gene" mine appears to be missing. I do however have the "loves diet coke gene".

But here we are. Unfunny me feeling depressed because- I am not funny. But I have got to say, that maybe if I worked on developing her perspective on things some of the truly insane things that happen around here would not make me so overwhelmed so often.

They were not thinking.

I am anti fabric softener. It leaves a funky residue and is all chemically- and it gives me rashes (TMI)

Anyway. We got the Bounce Dryer Bar as one of my children cannot seem to stand to wear clothes if they have not been drenched in fabric softener. The slightest roughness or less than silken softness sends her into a stripping fiend.

The bar is supposed to last 2 months or so- as it wears down the word "replace' would show up and indicate it is time to change the bar. It lasted a week. Really. A week. That is it.

I know we do a lot of laundry. Four kids, 2 dogs means laundry day is every day. However, I did expect the bar to last longer than a week.

So Bounce- not impressed.

Joy and Eggs

Odd combo. You bet. But well.

I had the pleasure of being in a pole class on Monday night. It was fantastic. I got a new trick (with help) then managed to do it again at home (yes I rock that much).

We were doing stretches at the beginning of class and the instructor told us to think of an 'o' word. The obvious of course is orgasm. Yeah. That did not occur to me. I drew a blank for several moments and came up with the word "oocyte". Which is the sciency name for the female gamete: the egg cell.

That is all kinds of sexy. Or not.

I need to get out more.

At the end of class we were asked to think of a word that describes how we were feeling.. I came up with joyful- again, not a typical answer for a sexy pole class but a hell of a lot better than oocyte.

Crap! I forgot about the best part (I have already blocked it from my mind apparently)! I flashed everyone. Time to take that top out of the rotation. You'd think, in a pole dancing class, it would be no big deal to fall out of your top. I wished the damn floor would swallow me up. Seriously, I considered leaving. But D- was so kind an loving, I stayed, and was so glad I did.

Communication

com·mu·ni·ca·tion/kəˌmyo͞oniˈkāSHən/Noun
1. The imparting or exchanging of information or news.
2. A letter or message containing such information or new

~Google Dictionary (it really does know everything, huh)

There are a lot of ways to communicate, verbal and non-verbal.

In expanding the definition of communication to be quite broad, parents can appreciate a wide variety of their children's efforts.

Sounds great right? Totally.

Except when...

Stinky hits his sister. It drives me nuts. I was given some great advice about this the other day, that I have been pondering.

Stinky hitting is his way of communicating something because he has not had the chance to learn skills or impulse control to communicate his needs or feelings in another way. Again sounds really too simple right?

Well maybe this time it is that simple. His sisters irritate him when they take apart his things (that would make me crazy too). At some point he reaches his limit and hits. Talking to him after the fact is great but it is reactive. What I need to do is watch more closely for signs that he is getting frustrated, tired, hungry, or whatever. Help him learn to recognize his feelings and needs and then communicate them in a more appropriate manner. This is labor intensive parenting. But it gets much better results. y

It is important to address this as it happens not after in term of the "next time" approach. When you are all worked up and upset, the last thing you are going to think about is, "hmmm, maybe I should try a different approach", kids are the same way. Once they are involved and upset it is much harder to calm things down again than it is to head it off.

Why better? It respects kids needs. It prevents conflict and teaches kids skills to manage it on their own. Everyone wins. I can go to bed at night knowing that I did the best I could for my kids. The kids don't hit each other (yay!). And they learn new skills that will help them in their lives. Parenting success.

I am not perfect at this. Heck, I am still a beginner. But I am trying. I am learning. I am talking to my kids about my journey as a parent- and listening to their journeys as kids. We have to respect each other and listen.

A lot can happen in five years

Like my little baby boy can grow into this big kid!

Sometimes I look at him and I just wonder, where did my tiny pudgy adorable baby go? In his place is a smart, sensitive, active, boy.

Five years. Five years from a little baby to a boy who is creative and wonderful.

He can work the iPad better than I can. He can fuss with computers better than I can.

He loves trains. Bordering on obsession. But he knows so much about trains. He is like a sponge with them.

Stinky can be cautious. He can be sensitive. He is loving. He is affectionate.

I love my boy.

in which I complain about my wrist

Why does everything medical take about a year? It took almost a year to deal with my kidney stones, and I am still dealing with them- yep thats right therrree baaack! (oh yay).

Almost a year ago I injured my wrist when I fell on a broken sidewalk in front of a neighbors home. I spent some time in a hot pink cast, remember?

Despite casting, physical therapy, and cortisone shots my wrist was still painful. After an MRI I have surgery scheduled August 23rd to repair my wrist. Almost a year later. A year.

It has been a long year and it has impacted every part of my life. From my ability catch my children when they jump or my ability to do anything really, maybe now I can get my life back with out pain in my wrist.

But right now. It hurts. It aches even when I am not actively doing anything with it. It needs to stop.

This should not be a surprise

Everyday my kids have ample opportunity to run around like the kids they are. Play. Climb. Fall. Jump. whatever floats their boat. It is a sanity saver for them and me.

Inevitably, it will happen that for some reason or another I am unmotivated and we will be couch potatoes for a day. Then I will pay. Oh heavens will I pay dearly.

They will fight and squabble and be obnoxious to each other and just not being themselves.

This is where the silly cycle starts. It is good for no one, not for them, not for me.

-I threaten, "the way you are acting shows me that you do not want to go to the (insert fun place)"

-they whine

-I get more annoyed

-We skip whatever activity

-Our home feels like it is going to explode

-We go outside and run around

-Everyone is much happier

About 10 minutes into the outing I realize (again) that the kids are being themselves again. I am calmer, and I wonder why we stayed inside so long.

Rinse.Repeat

It is no surprise that my kids need time to be free range kids. To keep them cooped up is cruel to everyone involved. But as a parent, I am conditioned to use a reward/punishment system. What I need to do is re-learn the pattern to head it off.

Part of the problem stems from the fact that I am an introvert. I like socializing but only with a few people. Crowds overwhelm me. Most of my kids are extroverts. Crowds excite them. So we are constantly learning and growing, figuring out how to balance all of our needs.