5 things that the survivors regret

You know that article about the 5 things that dying people regret?  The survivors  in relationships have regrets too, or at least I do.  I do not have the experience nor education to speak for all people who have lost someone, but I can give my experience.

1- People die, its a part of life, right?  Yes, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, that there won't be an empty feeling.  Sometimes the empty feeling is so encompassing, its contradictory to itself, others its more of a shadow, quietly following.

2- I regret not making time.  I was not as good of a granddaughter as  my grandmother deserved.  I did not make enough time for her, I begged off because I had needy kids.  Time is short.  Time is precious.  Before she moved, I'd call her sometimes and after she sorted out who I was, we'd have a great chat.  We'd talk about all sorts of things, from feed sack dresses to what the kids were up too.  She loved my kids so very much, she was crazy about them all.

3- I regret not making more memories.  Going through her belongings, felt wrong.  But she had so many memories.  Photos from so many people back before she was born, stories of their lives, a rich history that cannot be lost- but I am terrified will be.  I am sad that I did not sit down and pick her brain and record every last word out of her mouth. 

4- I regret not being more careful with the memories I do have of her.  I am clumsy. Forgetful. More than a little scatterbrained.  The photos and memories I have of her I feel like should be put somewhere safe- to be treasured- to be come back upon when I need her- instead, an old note that she wrote got shoved on a bookcase and maybe just maybe was colored on.

5- I regret not going earlier to get her chocolate.  Chocolate was her favorite dessert and I took my time about getting it.  I figured there would be a week or more to hold her hand, to see her, to talk to her. How could even in her condition could provide comfort to me and to others just by being there I will never know.  But she did.

I have a ton of regrets. That is for sure.  But maybe I am not alone.