When I was a kid and I would mess up I would get yelled at for it, and feel so awful. I was ashamed, embarrassed, sad--- all sorts of things. To the point that when I made a mistake I would hide it so no one would be mad at me.
I was responsible for something, and while it was my responsibility, I lost it. I was terrified of 'fessing up to what I did. What if the other person was livid? What do I do?
After texting a friend and losing my shit, I called and explained what happened. The individual- was kind and understanding. I was shocked. I was so used to the blow up, shame, begging for forgiveness.
I would rather have my kids learn this way than feeling afraid to tell me something. If I was not afraid to tell people things, I could save myself a lot of trouble.
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That's why we make a habit of apologizing in our house and trying to move on. Even the grownups. I don't think I have as many things to say sorry about but when I do I usually NEED to say sorry and then have the other person move forward. No shaming me. I want my kids to know you can recover from a mistake without getting dragged through the coals.
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